CHAPTER 1


"What do you want to do?" Anakin asked his secret wife one day as they sat in their Coruscant appartment.

"I dunno. What do you want to do?" Padme replied.

"I dunno. What do you want to do?"

"I dunno. What do...I just asked you that!" Padme exclaimed in annoyance.

"I just asked you that!" Anakin copied with a grin. At last, he had found something to do. But he knew that winding up Padme wouldn't be a wise idea to carry on for too long. He'd known her long enough to know that.

Padme had sussed out what he was trying to do, so she got up, intending to leave before he could really annoy her. However, her foot stepped in something sticky and there was a rather loud squish.

"Ew! What is that!" she cried, looking down to find a half mouldy pizza stuck to her foot. "Right, I know what we can do! We're gonna tidy this place up. It's a mess!"

"Padme!" Anakin groaned, but then he lent over and put his hand in a plate of his unfinished noodles from the night before.

"Yes Anakin?" Padme answered sweetly.

"I think that's a brilliant idea. Why wait? Let's start now!" Anakin jumped to his feet and waltzed into the kitchen to search in the cupboards for all the cleaning equipment.

However, half an hour later, he'd still had no luck.

He had, however, found something far more interesting.

"Look at this. I didn't know you drank wine?" he said, holding up a rather ancient bottle of Galactic wine - the strongest alcoholic drinklegally available.

"I don't usually. That's only for emergencies," she replied, sticking her head round the door. Anakin began prizing open the top, but Padme cleared her throat.

"I said emergencies, Anakin."

"Not even a teeny weeny bit?"

"Maybe later. But first, clean!"

Anakin saluted her and caught the cloth that Padme threw to him.

oOo

Two hours later, the appartment was looking spotless and Padme stood back, hands on her hips, admiring her work. Then she wondered where Anakin had got to.

"Ani?" she called. No answer. She went on a search and eventually found Anakin polishing the bathroom mirror.

"Look. Its so shiny I can see my reflection in it!" he exclaimed delightedly and Padme rolled her eyes in disbelief.

"You've had some of that wine,havn'tyou?" she asked suspiciously and Anakin nodded, showing her the open bottle sitting on the bath.

Padme quickly confiscated it and took it back into the kitchen. Clearly Anakin wasn't very good at handling his drink. As she went to put the cork back in, she caught a whiff of the contents. It smelt like heaven in a bottle.

Glancing around to make sure that Anakin wasn't anywhere near, she took a tiny sip. It tasted like heaven too!

She took a glass from the cupboard...

oOo

A few hours later the doorbell rang and Anakin went to answer it, tripping over his own feet as he did so.

"Heyloooo Obi-Wan!" he greeted the Jedi Master, giving him a huge bear hug.

"Um, hi Anakin. Are you alright?" Obi-Wan asked as he propped Anakin back up on his feet.

"I'm fine...I'm fine...I'm fine...I'm fun...I'm fun...fun...fun... " Anakin repeated over and over as he staggered over to the sofa and collapsed onto it. Flicking on the tv, he turned on Wallace and Gromit and began dancing to the theme tune.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Obi-Wan asked worriedly.

"Yup, yup, I'm just dandy. Senatoror Armadandidala or whatever her name is isn't though," Anakin said, then he began giggling hysterically at something on the screen.

Obi-Wan raised his eyebrows at his former padawan, then went in search of the Senator. He bumped into her as she was coming out of the kitchen.

"Obi-Wan! I didn't know you had a twin!" she exclaimed as her blurred vision showed her two Obi-Wan's instead of one.

Now Obi-Wan had sussed out what was wrong, so he took Padme's hand and led her back to the sofa, sitting her opposite Anakin, who had now moved onto another chair and was sitting upside down with his legs over the back, and his head dangling over the front.

"Im just going to get you some water, okay? Do you want anything else?" Obi-Wan asked her.

Padme considered this for a moment.

"A tractor," she replied after careful pondering. Obi-Wan looked at her and gave an exasperated sigh. Anakin found this hilariously funny and burst out laughing, but Padme wasn't taking any notice of either of them, because she'd just reminded herself of a song she'd learnt as a child. She suddenly began singing loudly in a strong farmer's accent.

"I can't read and I can't write, but that don' really ma'et, cos I come down from Somerset and I can drive a tra'er!"

Anakin fell of the chair laughing.

Then Padme changed tune and began singing something else.

"Oh I got a bran' new combine 'arvester an' I'll give you the key. Then we can go and mow the fields, in perfect 'armony!"

Anakin was almost wetting himself now.

"Oh we should get her drunk more often!" he chuckled, but Obi-Wan glared at him.

"You got her drunk, Anakin, not me! But as usual, I'm left to clean up your mess."

"Hey, I cleaned the mirror in the bathroom so much that you can now see your face in it!" Anakin protested, looking up at Obi-Wan stupidly from the floor. Obi-Wan opened his mouth to argue, then thought better of it.

"How much has she had?" he asked, and Anakin shrugged.

"I dunno. A glass, maybe."

They both looked back over at Padme who was now trying to hug a giant pink elephant, who had appeared on the sofa beside her.

The next thing she knew, she was on the floor, not quite knowing how she had got there. She thought for a moment, then noticed the sun was out and began hunting for her sunglasses in one of the cushions.
Obi-Wan slapped his hand to his forehead and sighed.

"Look, I'm going to get her some water. Can you please keep an eye on her for a minute?"

Anakin saluted. "Yes sir. Watch her. Got it...OOH MR BEAN!"

Obi-Wan darted into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water, before dashing back into the sitting room. He didn't want to leave Padme alone with Anakin, but he had no choice.

What he got back to wasn't nearly as bad as he had imagined, although it was still pretty terrible.

Padme was on her hands and knees, peering under the sofa with Anakin watching her from across the room.

"What's she doing?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Looking for the moon apparently."

"Ah," Obi-wan said, strolling over to her. He managed to get her to sit back up on the sofa eventually, where he tried to get her to drink some water.

Padme, however, was far more content to just poke the water with her finger. Anakin giggled.

"She's like a kid," he observed.

"She's drugged, Anakin!" Obi-wan snapped.

"She's not drugged! Just a little...drunk..."

"That stuff-" Obi-Wan started, but he was interupted by a high pitched scream from Padme.

"Where are my clothes?" She shrieked. "I've lost my clothes!"

Obi-Wan felt like banging his head against the wall. She would not be going near anything alcoholic again...not even rum flavoured sweets! Ever!

He finally managed to shush her. "It's ok, it's alright. You're wearing them, see?" He showed her the sleeve of her top and let her touch it. "There see. It's alright."

Padme grinned up at him, his head spinning before her eyes.

"Is that real?" she asked, tugging on his beard. He yelped in pain, knowing that he should be angry. But strangely enough he wasn't. Infact he couldn't help admitting to himself that she was actually rather entertaining.

"Alright, I think that's enough for one night. Bedtime now," he said at last, and Anakin gave a loud whine in protest.

"I'm not tired yet!"

"Anakin, this is your fault. If you're going to behave like a little child, then I'll treat you like one. Now go to bed. I'll see to you in the morning, and don't think you're getting away with this."

"But I'm not drunk!" he whined.

"Prove it then. Say supercalafragilisticexpialidocious," Obi-Wan said with raised eyebrows.

"I can't say that even when I'm sober!" Anakin exclaimed, but before Obi-Wan could argue, he continued.

"I can, however, say Raxacoricofallapatorious!"

"What the hells that?"

"It's a planet."

"I've never heard of it. Where is it?" Obi-Wan asked in confusion.

"Haven't you ever watched Doctor Who?"

"No."

"No wonder you don't know what I'm talking about then!" Anakin giggled.

"BED, ANAKIN!"Obi-Wan shouted, causing Anakin to jump.

Anakin's shoulders slumped in defeat and he stood up, stretched and toppled backwards over the coffee table. Picking himself up again, he trudged off to bed, dragging his feet behind him, sulking.

"What about -" he nodded to Padme when he got to his bedroom door. Padme was now watching the clear liquid run through her fingers as she tipped the glass of water over her hand, obviously not noticing that it was pooling in her lap.

"Water's funny stuff," she said innocently, smiling as she poured even more over her fingers.

"Oh no no no Padme," Obi-Wan cried, prizing the glass away from her. "Anakin, bed. I can deal with her - Padme, look. You look like you've wet yourself now!"

"Have fun with that!" Anakin chuckled as he wandered into his room. A moment later there was a loud thump as Anakin attempted to clamber into his imaginary bunk bed and fell flat on his face.

Obi-Wan was left with Padme, who had once again started crawling around on the floor, this time looking for her rabbit.

"Padme you don't own a rabbit," Obi-Wan tried to point out, but Padme nodded enthusiastically.

"I do! He's called Mr Squidge!"

"Well...um...I think I saw 'Mr Squidge' hop into your room a little earlier," he said, hoping it would convince her to go to bed too. But Padme stood up and put her hands on her hips again, although this time she was swaying unsteadily.

"Mr Squidge has no legs, therefore he can't have moved from where I left him!"

"Well where did you leave him?"

"I don't know! That's why I'm looking for him. Duh!" And with that she fell forwards into Obi-Wan's outstretched arms, giggling madly.

Obi-Wan proceeded to lead her to her room, but when he saw that he was practically dragging her, because she was making no effort to mover her legs, he gave a huge sigh and scooped her up into his arms. It was no easy task trying to carry her to her room, because she kept covering his eyes with her hand and shrieking with laughter.

"Padme, stop it!" he said firmly, so she just hung her head backwards.
"Wheeeeeeeeeee!" She cried as he carried her into her room and deposited her on her bed.

He was just going to tuck her in and let her sleep, but then he remembered her wet skirt. He managed to find some baggy trousers in one of her drawers that would have to do as pyjama pants, then he handed them to her.

"I'm going to go outside for a moment. You put these on, then I'll come back in. Ok?"

He left and went to stand outside, knowing full well that she was in no fit state to do anything. Yet he couldn't possibly do it for her, so he just hoped and prayed that she had managed to do it herself.

Several moments went by, and he heard nothing from inside. Knocking tentatively on the door, he opened it a little and peered in.

"You done yet?" he asked, and let out a huge sigh of relief when he saw that she had.

"My hat's wet," she told him, handing him her soaked skirt.

"Yes Padme, thats because you poured water all over it. Now, come on. Bed!" he peeled back the covers and lifted her legs in, then tucked her gently in.

"Can you read me a story?" she asked, but Obi-Wan shook his head.
"No Padme, you're too old for stories."

"Are we going flying?" she asked, completely randomly.

"Yes Padme, we're going flying. But we won't unless you get to sleep," Obi-Wan sighed, pulling up a chair beside her bed. He'd have to stay there all night just to make sure she didn't do anything else stupid.

Not that he minded having to stay up all night. He didn't usually bother sleeping anyway.

Padme looked like she was just drifting off when she opened her eyes and tugged on his sleeve.

"I'm scared!"

"Of what. There's nothing to be scared of." Obi-Wan said, strongly reminded of a little child as he looked at her now.

"There's a boogey monster. Please don't leave me!"

"I won't Padme. Look, I'll stay right here."

"No, get in with me."

"No it's alright, I'll sit here."

"Noooo!" she grabbed his sleeve and tugged him under the covers, where she snuggled into his arms.

Oh this is not good. Obi-Wan thought, but it seemed that at last Padme was dropping off to sleep. Perhaps once she was asleep, he could ease himself out from under the covers.

Just then, Padme started giggling again.

"What's so funny?" he asked after a while, when it was clear that her laughter wasn't going to subside.

"The ceiling keeps changing colours!" she giggled, observing as the room span, and the ceiling changed colours from blue, to purple, to white, to green. However, Padme now couldn't remember why she had been laughing, so she instead made herself content on just watching the multi-coloured ceiling.

As she lay there, she heard a funny rumbling and looked over to find out that it was Obi-Wan. He was strangely standing on his head, and she began to laugh at how stupid he looked. Then she began to get annoyed, so poked him in the side and told him to stop laughing. He responded, and she looked at his lips as she tried to work out what he was saying. His words were spinning round in her head and getting all jumbled up, giving her a serious headache.

She decided to kiss him to make it stop. However, he wouldn't stop spinning, and eventually she toppled out of bed, laughing her head off.

Obi-Wan lifted her back into bed and began saying something again.

"Shhhhhh," Padme said, placing a finger on what she thought was his mouth. As it turned out, she just poked him in the eye.

At last, however, she lay still and Obi-Wan peered over, searching her eyes for any signs of what she might do next.

But they were unfocused now, and with a sleepy smile and a muttered sentence about marmite flavoured candyfloss, they closed and her breathing became heavy and slow and even.

oOo

Obi-Wan gently eased himself out from under her arms a little while later, and swiftly left her room before she could wake up again.
Then he went into the kitchen and found the bottle of wine, still three quarters full, aiming to dispose of it before this whole incident could be repeated.

That stuff must be strong. He thought to himself. If a tiny sip can make Anakin lose focus and only about a glass full turn Padme into a looney, then what would the rest of this bottle do to someone?
Especially someone weak minded. I mean, those two have the strongest minds I've ever encoutered, and it reduced them to...well... I'd better get rid of it before anyone else drinks it.

However as he went to tip it down the sink, he caught a whiff that smelt like heaven. He took a sip and it tasted like heaven too.
Shame to waste such a fine drink. He thought as he took a glass from the cupboard and began to fill it up...

TO BE CONTINUED...

Lol really funny so far...

OOC: Heya! Here's the next post for you all, and just a little background infor for ya now. Ok, it's a few hours later, Padme (still drunk) can't sleep, so gets up and finds Obi-Wan in the living room, playing blackjack with himself and talking to 'Qui-Gon' who of course isn't really there because he died years ago!


"What are you doing?" Padme asked, staggering over and collapsing opposite him in a chair.

"NOOOOO! You just sat on Qui-Gon!" Obi-Wan cried and Padme sprang to her feet, horrified at what she had just done. She turned to the empty seat.

"Oh Mr Qui-Gon, I'm so, so sorry, I didn't see you there. Would you like me to pour you a drink?"

There was no answer (obviously!)

"Nope? Oh ok. More for me!" she shrugged, taking a huge swig from the bottle.

"Hey, save some for Basil!" Obi-Wan cried, snatching the bottle and passing it to the chair on his right.

"What ya playin?" Padme asked as she sat back down on Qui-Gon again. Obi-Wan didn't yell this time because it seemed he'd now forgotten about his imaginary Master.

"Blackjack. You want to play?"

"Ok!" Padme yelled, falling off the chair and crawling over to the coffee table that Obi-Wan was sat at.

oOo

A while later, Obi-Wan and Padme had consumed the entire remainder of the Galactic wine, along with a few of Anakin's secret beers that he had hidden from Padme. Needless to say, they were feeling no pain...well Obi-Wan wasn't anyway, seeing as he'd tried to catch a burning flame from one of the candles several times, thinking it was funny.

But now they were playing blackjack again.

"Hit me." Padme said, rather unenthusistically, seeing as the novelty had worn off. Obi-Wan licked a card and placed it infront of her. (He'd licked every card, claiming it tasted like bubble gum.)

"Hit me," she said again, and again Obi-Wan licked the card before placing it infront of her.

"Hit me...hit me...hit me..."

Each time she said 'hit me', she slowed down before repeating herself.
At last Obi-Wan ran out of cards.

"We need more cards," he said, holding up the empty card box and peering inside it as though hoping to find some more.

"You know what we also need? We need some more umm, drinks. Hold on a second." Padme said, getting up and stumbling a bit. "Whoops, okay."

She managed to make it to her holo-phone and picked up the receiver.

"Hello! Room service? Yeah, we would like some more alcohol, and you know what else? We would like some more beers. Hello? Ohh! I forgot to dial!"

Obi-Wan burst out laughing but was interupted by a knock on the door.
"That must be our alcohol and beers!" he exclaimed, getting up to answer it.

"Hey!" Bail Organa said as Obi-Wan opened the door to him.

"Oh it's Bail! I love Bail!" Obi-Wan cried, hugging Bail tightly.

"Ohh, I love Bail! Bail lives with a duck!" Padme cried, also hugging Bail, who just thought they were pleased to see him and seemed not to have noticed Padme's duck comment.

"Look you guys, I need some help! Okay? Someone is going to have to convince the Chancellor to cooperate!"

"I'll do it. Hey, whatever you need me to do, I'm your woman." Padme cried, pushing Obi-Wan out of the way. Then she started to sit down on a chair.

There was only one problem, however.

She was about two feet to the left of the chair and missed it completely, falling flat on her back.

"Whoa-oh-whoa! Are you, are you okay?" She asked as she looked up at Bail from the floor.

"Yeah! I'm fine! Thanks!" Bail replied, raising his eyebrows at the Senator. He started to leave, but got an idea and stopped.

"Hey Padme? What's my name?"

"Umm..." Padme pondered. "Mr Blobby?"

"Master Kenobi, don't let her drink anymore!" Bail snapped before leaving.

"I wanna get out of the room! Y'know, I…I really miss downstairs," Obi-Wan whined as Padme produced a tin of peanuts from a drawer where she had hidden them, ripped the top off and put one in her mouth. Then she spat it back out again and screwed her face up in disgust.

"Didn't like it, huh?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Nope," Padme replied as she put another one in her mouth, screwed up her face and spat it back out again.

Then she saw the open window and had an idea. Running over to it, tripping and falling into the curtains, where she got all tangled up, she called for Obi-Wan's help.

Half an hour later, Obi-Wan had succesfully untangled Padme, after a lot of giggling, and both were now throwing the nuts out of the open window, giggling everytime they did.

oOo

Finally they ran out of nuts and Padme looked all dissapointed.
"I want my nuts back," she sobbed.

Obi-Wan, however, wasn't listening because he had found some of Padme's makeup in the bathroom and was now trying it on. He came out a while later with a huge red blob of lipstick on his nose, whiskers drawn in eye shadow on his cheeks, eye liner smeared across his forehead and talcom powder covering his beard, making it turn white, and snow everytime he shook his head.

"Lets go!" he cried, so he and Padme staggered arm in arm out of the appartment.

A little while later they came out into the main street of Coruscant.

"Well hello! I'm a Jedi!" Obi-Wan was saying to random people that passed him.

"Good luck to ya!" Padme shouted to equally random people who passed her.

"Excuse me sir, you've got a little something right here," Obi-Wan said to one man, pointing to the corner of his mouth. Both he and Padme then burst out laughing.

They somehow made their way down the street, to a large building with statues outside it.

"Wow!" Padme exclaimed as she looked at the statue.

"Hello!" Obi-Wan said as he bowed to the statue.

"Hello!" Padme copied, also bowing.

"Hello!" They both said together, bowing, then they carried on down the street, Padme singing her tractor song again and Obi-Wan adding his own sound effects.

OMG This is funny as heck! XDDD They're all so smashed XDDD

Anakin awoke a few hours later to frantic banging from somewhere. At first he thought it was the little stars that were swimming around in his head, but then when they stopped spinning, he realised that there was someone at the door.

Pulling himself out of bed, he pulled his trousers on (backwards!) and started for the door.

"Young Skywalker, a word may I have?" Master Yoda asked and there was a real sense of urgency in his voice.

"Umm, sure, sure, come in..." Anakin replied, stepping out of the way and rubbing his head. The swimming stars had returned and were now blinding him.

"Seen Master Kenobi and Senator Amidala, have you?" Yoda asked, glancing around at Obi-Wan and Padme's mess from earlier.

"They were here, but now I don't know. I've been in bed," Anakin groaned, slumping down in a chair and pulling out something hard from behind him. It was his last remaining Galactic beer. He popped it open and downed it in one, glad that it seemed to make the stars vanish. Now he felt much better.

"So ET, what did you want?" he asked Yoda, who looked over his shoulder as though looking for someone behind him. Then he turned back to Anakin.

"Talking to me, are you?"

"Yeah, you're ET, right? I loved that film. It made me cry! Do the 'ET phone home' thing with your finger."

"No. Master Yoda, I am. Jedi Master, not Alien!"

"Oh yeah, I'm sorry. Your not ET, your Kermit the frog! Duh!" With that Anakin smacked one hand to his forehead.

"Kermit, I am not!"

"Whoa, I must be drunk. I can't understand a word your saying!" Anakin exclaimed.

Master Yoda looked extremely hurt by this comment and his pointy ears drooped.

"So anyways, Padme and Obi? What about em dude?" Anakin asked, going back to his upside down position from earlier, with his feet over the back and his head over the front.

"Talk to you when you are in this mood, I cannot. Come back later, when you are sober, I shall," Yoda huffed, storming out of the room as fast as his little legs could carry him.

"Hey Kermit, say hi to Miss Piggy for me!" Anakin called after him. Then he called the remote for the holo tv to his hand (it wobbled all over the place because Anakin couldn't control it), flicked it on and began watching the news.

BURP!

Anakin's burp surprised him so much that he fell off his chair in shock.

"D'oh!" he yelled, scrabbling back up to his feet. Then he suddenly had a random force connection with Padme.

She was in a 24/7 grocery shop, sitting in a trolly with Obi-Wan force pushing it from his position in another trolly. They were both going so fast that when they collided they were both thrown forwads, laughing hysterically. Then Obi-Wan force pushed the two away from each other again, they skidded round an isle and collided again.

"I want a go!" Anakin cried, running as fast as he could from the appartment, and down into the street.

oOo

"And stay out!" the security droid shouted after the three of them before closing the store door.

"What a nerf-herder!" Anakin groaned. He staggered sideways into the same statue that Obi-Wan and Padme had become aquainted with earlier.

"Oh, s'cuse me," he said to it.

"Hello," Obi-Wan bowed to it again.

"Hello," Padme copied again.

"Hello," Anakin copied.

"Hello," they all said, bowing.

"So what you wanna do?" Obi-Wan asked after a moment.

"I want to eat a lot of grapes," Padme said.

"I want to drive a tractor," Anakin said.

"TRACTOR!" Padme cried, bursting into her tractor song yet again as the three of them walked back down towards the senate office, Padme buying a whole load of grapes to eat on the way. The only thing was, she told the shop keeper to put it on Chancellor Palpatine's tab!

"Guess who I met earlier?" Anakin said casually, dipping his hand into the bag of grapes and earning himself a sharp slap from Padme.

"Who?" Obi-Wan asked, dipping his hand in the bag and also gaining a sharp slap from Padme.

"Kermit the frog!" Anakin exclaimed, trying for another grape and receiving the same treatment.

"Hands off the grapes!" Padme snapped, before walking into a lampost. The grapes, which she had been holding infront of her, squished in the bag and became grape juice.

"Ew!"

"WINE!" Anakin and Obi-Wan yelled together, trying to snatch the bag. Padme ran screaming down the street, with Obi-Wan and Anakin chasing.

oOo

"Anakin that is not a toy!...Padme don't do that!...Obi-Wan, NO!" Chancellor Palpatine was screaming into the empty senate meeting chamber, where the thousands of senatorial pods usually sat waiting for their occupants.

Only this time, the Chancellor wasn't alone. He was stuck with Anakin, Padme and Obi-Wan.

Anakin was busy flying one pod round and round the hall so fast that it made the Chancellor dizzy just trying to watch him, Padme was sat in another one, flicking the lights on and off, and Obi-Wan was jumping from pod to pod, howling with laughter.

That is until he slipped and almost fell from one. Then he dragged himself back inside it, sat there for a moment in shock, then began chasing Anakin round and round the hall.

"Senator Amidala! I thought you wanted to tell me something important!" he called, giving up on trying to control the out of control trio.

"I do!" she called back, flicking the lights on and off so that they flashed madly and caused a disco effect, which she found hilarious.

"Well what was it?"

"I'm really, really drunk!" she giggled, then passed out at last, the drink, and flashing lights finally getting to her.

"Wheeeeee!" Anakin cried, whizzing past the Chancellor who just slapped his hand to his head.

"Whazzup Palpy?" Obi-Wan called, waving frantically as he sped past as well.

"Shoot me! Shoot me now!" the Chancellor moaned as he sunk into his seat in defeat.

"Whats this button do?" Anakin asked, suddenly appearing beside him from nowhere and pressing a button on the control panel.

"Its the microphone," Palpatine replied, then immediately wished he hadn't.

"HEY OBI!" Anakin's voice bellowed through the whole hall, causing him to jump and fall backwards out of the centre podium.

"Whoa, watch that first step, it's a doozy!" he called from the floor, before also passing out.

This just left Obi-Wan, who'd lost control of the pod by this time. Palpatine flicked a switch on the centre podium and the pod stopped in mid air.

"Move! Move! Move!" Obi-Wan cried furiously, punching the control panel so hard that one of the buttons flew out, smacked him right between the eyes and knocked him out too.

Palpatine sighed with relief and called some of his bodyguards to take the trio back to Padme's appartment where they had some serious sobering up to do!

Great stuff, keep it up ;)

Ok, so Palpatine has taken the three back to Padme's appartment, and is now trying to talk to Padme about what happened. However, there is a slight problem.

Galactic alcohol, if consumed in large amounts, can have strange side effects on people, like causing them to lose thier voice, their hair, or even force them to repeat random film quotes. Padme, Anakin and Obi-Wan have found this out the hard way, but who got what side effect?

"Padme, are you even listening to me?" Palpatine snapped at the spot on the sofa where Padme was now hiding behind a large cushion.

He had been ranting and raving at her so much that he hadn't noticed her slowly disappearing behind it. Now all he could see was her two legs and one arm reaching out to grab the notepad from beside the comlink.

"Padme, tell me everything that I've just said to you!" Palpatine demanded suspiciously. There was the sound of scribbling, tearing and then a note appeared over the top of the cushion, which Palpatine snatched and read.

"What do you mean, you've lost your voice? Can't you speak at all?" he asked in confusion.

Another note appeared.

"Yes it is your fault! You drunk so much alcohol that you passed out in the middle of the Senate chambers!"

Another note.

"What do you mean, 'No harm done'?" Palpatine could feel his temper rising and knew that at any moment, he would probably explode with frustration. "The press will have a field day when they find out!"

Another note.

"You bet you're in BIG trouble missy!"

Another note.

"Padme, You weren't acting normally under the circumstances! A Senator should never be under those circumstances! When are you going to start acting responsibly? Getting secretly wed to a Jedi, against the rules? Drinking yourself stupid? Your a Senator of the Galactic Republic for goodness sakes! People look up to you and you're held to higher standards of behaviour! What would people think if they saw the most popular Senator in the galaxy behaving so inappropriately?" Palapatine yelled, so loud that probably the whole appartment could hear. But he didn't care anymore.

However, when he saw that Padme's feet had dissapeared too, and he was now looking at a large cushion instead of the young Senator, he softened a bit, knowing that she wasn't the only one who'd got drunk, and so she shouldn't be the only one to take the blame.

"Look, can you please just try and grasp that concept?" he asked, a little less angrily.

Another note appeared.

"What do you mean, 'the concept's grapsed, but the execution's a little elusive'? Look, just promise me that in the future, you won't go near anything that even has the word alcohol in it. Ok?"

Another note. Palpatine read it and smiled.

"It's alright. Appology accepted. Now go back to bed and get some rest. We've got a big meeting in the Senate chamber this afternoon and you're supposed to be one of the key speakers. Try and get your voice back before then."

Padme slowly re-appeared from behind the cushion, glad that the shouting was over. She nodded to show that she understood, grabbed her head in pain, waved to the Chancellor, then went back to her room, climbed into bed and...

"OH MY GOD!" she screamed as Obi-Wan rolled over and the two came face to face.

Padme pushed herself away as fast as she could and tumbled out of the bed, dragging all the covers with her and landing in a heap on the floor.

Obi-Wan peered over and saw a flapping bundle of covers. He decided he'd better help, so he lifted the bundle up into the air with the force and shook it until she fell out of the bottom. She was about to shout at him when she realised something.

"I got my voice back!" she cried happily.

She was so thrilled that she threw her arms around Obi-Wan and hugged him tight.

However, when she pulled herself away at last, she pulled a fist full of his hair away too.

"Um, Obi-Wan?" she said anxiously, looking at the hair in her hand, then at the pillow, where there was yet more hair.

"Yeah?" Obi-Wan asked.

"You're going bald!"

"What?" Obi-Wan ran to the mirror and saw that half of his beard, and huge clumps of his hair had fallen out.

"MY HAIR!" he screamed, even louder than Padme had. She backed out of the room as quickly as she could and ran into Anakin's room, glad that she'd only lost her voice, and nothing else.

Anakin was still fast asleep, amazingly, so she grabbed his shoulders and shook them violently, hoping that he might be able to help her calm Obi-Wan down.

"Ani! Ani! Obi-Wan's losing his hair!"

"STOP BLOWING HOLES IN MY SHIP!" Anakin cried, sitting bolt upright.

"Huh?" Padme stopped and stared at him, slightly bewildered.

"Are you my mummy?" Anakin replied.

"Um...what?"

"I'll be back!"

"Anakin what on earth are you talking about?"

"I think we're gonna need a bigger boat!"

"I think you're gonna need a psychiatrist!"

"My name's Bond. James Bond!"

"No, you're name's Anakin Skywalker!"

"We're walking in the air!"

Padme quickly left, locking his door behind him. Clearly alcohol affected Jedi more than it affected normal people.

"Hasta lavista baby!" she heard Anakin call behind her. Now she really was thankful that she'd only lost her voice. The Jedi would have real fun trying to get any sense out of those two now!

She decided that she didn't want to be in the appartment when Masters Mace and Yoda arrived, so she grabbed her coat from her room (ignoring Obi-Wan's ongoing screams) and left for the Senate hall, hoping to catch the Chancellor and appologise properly, now that she had her voice back.

"Senator Amidala? A word, might we have?" Yoda's voice called to her and she stopped dead. There was no way she could escape this now.

She nodded and headed back into the appartment with them, snatching the notepad and pretending she'd still lost her voice. After all, they might actually listen to her if she wrote everything down, rather than just try to explain things...

And they might feel sorry for me and let me off without punishment she hoped. However, looking at the disapproving glares she was now receiving from the two Masters, she doubted this very much.