They're at it again, remaking HELL NIGHT for the PG-13 crowd according to Fangoria.

I actually liked the original and now they're gonna screw it up. The original had wonderful cinematography by Mac Ahlberg with a great location (and some Raleigh Studios soundstage augmentation), a great cast (even Vincent Van Patten), and a creepy atmosphere. It really only just justifies an R-rating with some flashes of violence (well-executed because of the quick cutting) and no nudity.

According to Screen Gems Clint Culpepper:

Then why not just do a film derivative of HELL NIGHT instead of remaking a film that their target audience would likely not have even heard of.

Clint Culpepper is an idiot. Who does he think was seeing all those R-rated slasher movies in the '80s?

Huh. Nice and succinct. Good thing Culpepper didn't choose doctor as a career...

"You are going to die. Painfully. And soon."

I hear HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME is the latest one to be greenlighted (although the original producers have been trying to get that off the ground for years). It's funny, all these slasher remakes are being made because of the relative success of PROM NIGHT, as the originals were shamelessly made to cash in on the success of HALLOWEEN and FRIDAY THE 13TH.

What with MY BLOODY VALENTINE remake in 3D, the FRIDAY THE 13TH remake and the HOUSE ON SORORITY ROW remake (on top of HELL NIGHT), it's going to be a bloody (or should that be bloodless?) year at the multiplexes!

I'm waiting for the day the distributors instruct the exhibitors to simply pop the DVD out of the player after the last Thursday night show and deposit it in the Redbox on the way home.