Bastards.

(Note: if you somehow, to your utter shame, have not seen Rosemary's Baby, be warned that the above linked Hollywood Reporter article spoils the whole plot.)

Oh god - Spielberg dies and they remake JAWS, Spielberg dies and they remake JAWS, Spielberg dies and they remake JAWS...

No, you're missing the big picture. Spielberg dies and they remake RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK.

And it'll be contemporary? So that means that Minnie Castevet will be a 70 year-old with a stretched face. Therefore, I choose the ageless Sharon Stone to play the role. I would also like to see Renee Zellweger as Rosemary, since the situation in which her character finds herself should afford her countless opportunities for facial grimaces and tics!

Michael Bay remaking Rosemary's Baby?

Could it get any worse?



Well, Alba damned... I suppose it could.

Then give us Woody Allen as Roman Castevet, and I am so there...

And TV's Tim Gunn as "Hutch." And Tony Curtis is still around to do the voice of the actor Guy gets the important role from! For Guy - Hugh Jackman.

CGI demon baby anyone?

...which will explode and kill all the Satanists at the end of the film?

Don't forget the big baby buggy chase...

You just know they're gonna show the nice girl from the basement laundromat's full suicide!

I can't think of a worse idea for a big-budget remake.

Well, if we're all going to deal with the possibility of this abomination with laffs... Hmmm... Considering that Mia Farrow helped get that needless Omen remake created, turnabout is fair play. Minnie and Roman Castavet should be played by Billie Whitelaw and David Warner! Affecting the most godawful, over-the-top, and pathetically-unconvincing New York accents they can muster!

I want this thing to be dreadful, a stinking bomb that wards off audiences from coast to coast. With the studio-destructing power of a dozen Wicker Man remakes!

Ooh! Ooh! And, William, Mia herslf should show up as Mrs. B. from THE OMEN remake, and Whitelaw should keep shoving her off-frame.

And, Shawn, the girl from the basement, Terry, will be played by Alyssa Milano, under the name Jane Framingham. Rosemary will comment, "You look like that actress (chuckle, chuckle) Alyssa Milano."

I can think of a worse idea. Here, at least Michael Bay has (now) no plans to actually direct the ROSEMARY'S BABY remake--but maybe he'll decide to direct a remake of 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY....

Interestingly, Woody is now the same age as Sidney Blackmer was when he played that role in ROSEMARY'S BABY.

Could Rosemary's baby be a little Japanese girl with long dark hair covering her face, please?

Only if Woody's signed for it! :ph43r:

:blink:

John - and wet, please!

At 66, Barbra Streisand is now only 6 years younger than Ruth Gordon was in the original, so I suggest Bay hold off a few years and see if Babs can get that 3rd Oscar.

Streisand could never hope to rub at the mark a knife leaves in a floor like Ruth Gordon!

"Chawk-let Mowse"

urrr

I always wanted there to be a rock band called "Chalky Undertaste."

This is a bit off topic, but I found out a few weeks ago that my boss is Bay's ex-wife.

Heh. Six-degrees...

Well, let's hope she's fully recovered from the trauma and isn't taking it out on you and your co-workers! :lol: