For the full article and youtube clips check
http://hkfilmnews.blogspot.com/2007/04/hor...oming-soon.html

Written by my fiancee.

And, to back up the greatness of that article (because, dear lord, do I ever loathe Sandra Lee and every fiber of her being), Anthony Bourdain slaughters Food Network celebrities.

(Actually, the above is a bit overstating -- Tony does seem to like some of the Food Network's hosts, and practically worships the ground that Mario Batali walks upon with those Crocs of his. But it's worth reading to feast upon phrases like "Pure evil. This frightening Hell Spawn of Kathie Lee and Betty Crocker seems on a mission to kill her fans, one meal at a time. She Must Be Stopped." Ah, Tony, how I adore thee.)

Not to mention his dissection of Paula Deen:

Wonder how many Food Network junkies are familiar with DESPERATE LIVING?

I have to admit, Sandra Lee has ALWAYS fascinated me. Not only does she make food but, on just about every episode, she turns into a drunk and "features" some insanely alcoholic drink to go with the food she is making. (Correction: I didn't look at your link before writing this... I'm glad the writer made note of the alcohol, too!).

Unfortunately, I just can't get past staring at her monumentally large chest. I get hypnotized and I never remember what she is making by half-way through! LOL!

The episode that stands out in my mind is the "pool party" one where she made portable snacks and drinks (a picnic day in the sun!) and then went outside with a female friend with a string-bikini top that barely covered her giant boobs. I thought I was dreaming... I'd never seen such large natural breasts on the TV FOOD NETWORK before, especially exposed like that! Wish I still had a copy of it!

On her early episodes, she dressed rather conservatively (large turtleneck sweaters, etc.), but after the TV Food Network cooks started getting more famous (like Rachael Ray, for example), I noticed she started dressing more provocatively... obviously trying to get attention.

Actually, I'm an admitted TV FOOD NETWORK junkie. I love watching those shows. Rachael Ray's new shows are total hotness! LOL! She'd be PERFECT if she had Sandra Lee's chest size... but who am I kidding... I still love her! Rachael Ray needs to divorce that current toe-sucking fetishist husband of hers (if she hasn't already) and just marry me! Well... either Rachael or Giada... I'm not picky. I love how Giada "rolls" "c"s and "k"s off her tongue when she talks. Who knew the words "crispy" or "crunchy" could be so erotic?

Man, I just don't get the appeal of the ubiquitous Ritz-hawking Rachel Ray. On any level -- cook-wise, host-wise, or look-wise (that FHM photo shoot still plagues my nightmares).

Now Nigella Lawson, on the other hand...rrrrrowrrrr...

Sleep, Aleck... sleeeepppppp...

For anyone who hasn't seen it, I'd recommend watching Anthony Bourdain's "No Reservations" on the Travel Channel. It's a TV-MA-rated hybrid of food and travel show that has the chef travelling the world to sample the various delicacies of other cultures -- many of which involve some sort of animal organ and even other substances that would probably get him arrested if he ingested them in America. He will try/eat *anything* at least once.

I would imagine you would have to appreciate his snarky attitude to get into the show. I think he's pretty funny but I could imagine that some would think he comes off like a bit of an asshole. His assessment of Sandra Lee is a good example of his sense of humor.

Great. Now my eyes are bleeding. Thanks, Don. ;)

I have to second this. NO RESERVATIONS is about as thrilling as a food show can get (though Alton Brown snapping his collarbones during a motorcycle accident on FEASTING ON ASPHALT is pretty close behind); a fascinating exploration of cuisine -- both high and low -- from all over the globe. And while Anthony Bourdain's attitude might put some off, he is never afraid to let himself look like a putz if that's what happens during the course of any given episode. And what other food show would have him and Mario Batali re-enact a scene from THE GODFATHER? Or feature a top chef affectionately parodying Italian neo-realist cinema?

My favourite part of the first Sandra Lee video is when she's reciting the ingrediants of her beer margaritas.

"Add one cup of tequilla....one cup, cup-and-a-half, two cups...."

That's where the "Do the Puyullap" comes in!

I'm so happy everyone has been enjoying the article so much. I showed it to Jess and she really was happy to see all the positive feedback as this is one of her first attempts at doing humorous writing and its encouraged her to do more.

BUT WAIT

The Horror Contiunes:

http://hkfilmnews.blogspot.com/2007/04/sam...lees-kakes.html

She has wonderful breasts, as does Giada, especially after her boob job!