Before I give you my latest review, I just wanted to point something out that may shock you. The Video Hound review book is a sham! I looked up their reviews for the WITCHCRAFT series and all they consist of bad ratings (naturally) and synopses taken directly from the back of the boxes. Not a single piece of criticism that would lead me to believe they saw any of these films. In essence, they aren't keeping it real.
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WITCHCRAFT V: DANCE WITH THE DEVIL (1993)
Starring Marklen Kennedy, Carolyn Taye-Loren, David Huffman, Nicole Sassaman
Directed by Talen Hsu
From the VHS:
“Some people will do anything for sex, fame, and fortune…anything. Sought out for his black magic powers, attorney Will Spanner falls under the spell of Marta, the supernaturally seductive assistant of a mysteriously powerful hypnotist called Cain. As Marta exercises her lustful hold over Will, Cain’s true mission is revealed: to collect enough souls for his satanic rise to power, ruling the earth in the shadow of the Evil One. Will’s dark desire drives him to aid Marta in her increasingly unholy acts for her master.”
Why do I find that first line so apt for this series? Yes, I am up to the fifth installment of the series and it isn’t getting any better. Well, it is a little bit better but that is like saying you are happy because a sadistic torturer chose to shove a clean nail into your eye as opposed to a rusty one.
WITCHCRAFT V is a classic “just happens” movie. By that I mean people and things show up that just happens to be integral to the plot. For example (prepare for huge run on sentence), in the first few minutes Marta just happens to run over a homeless guy who just happens to be fallen angel Softra (!), who just happens to transfer his soul into passing Reverend Meredith, who also just happens to be the Reverend of Will Spanner’s girlfriend while aforementioned Marta just happens to run into Cain in the hills. Yes, all that "just happens" in the first 10 minutes. And Cain, you guessed it, just happens to be looking for Will Spanner who just happens to show up at a bar the next night where Cain just happens to be putting on a magic show. Whew!
This entry sees some changes to the series. Most notably, the sex factor is upped significantly. I thought I was watching RED SHOE WITCHCRAFT. I guess the producers finally realized what sells and they even flash a graphic before the film letting you know it is the “unrated version.” This increase in sexual trysts probably explains the replacement of awkward Charles Solomon with hunkier Marklen Kennedy as Will Spanner. Looking like an actual Kennedy, Marklen has the hard task of lying there while women constantly lick him. Sadly for him, this was his only WITCHCRAFT appearance, making him the George Lazenby of the series. The acting is probably the best all around in the series so far. Lead villain David Huffman, looking like Bill Maher with Michael Bolton’s hair, is very able as Cain (ah, boo yourself!). Somewhere a summer Shakespeare festival is missing its lead. The film’s highlight is his assistant Marta played by Nicole Sassaman. You may remember her as “Topless Sorority Girl” in ROCK AND ROLL FANTASY (1992). Or you may not. Anyway, she provides a lot of the film's ample nudity and is quite a looker.
The series also takes another major change in that it returns a majority of the action to the house where the original film was set. Holy continuity, WITCHCRAFT screenwriters! I was expecting a nod here or there but this is totally unheard of. I appreciate it though. But they pissed me off by making Will Spanner a total loser and pushover. I know Will Spanner and he wouldn’t let some goofy hypnotist work him so easily. He is the Son of Satan after all! So I just took away the cool points you got for returning the action to the main house. We’re even now.
The series does continue its honored tradition of delivering some funny dialogue. Here are a couple of great lines. First we have Will Spanner’s girlfriend Keli on the phone with the doctor after Will attacked her.
Keli: “It was like he had supernatural strength or something. Uh huh. And all that talk about Satan. [pause] No, he didn’t mention any other names. [pause] Why?”
And there is this classic exchange right before the mandatory catfight.
Marta: “Well, well, well. Come here to save your little Will?”
Keli: “Where is he?”
Marta: “He’s doing our bidding. It’s too late. He belongs to me now.”
Keli (tackling Marta): “Bitch!”
As it stands, this entry was decent. And by that I mean it didn’t make time seem like it was standing still.
Bodycount:
-1 gullible john
-1 fallen angel infested bum
-1 law breaking boyfriend
-1 cigar chomping bar owner
-1 good witch
-1 soul sellin’ rocker dude
-1 sumptuous sacrifice
-1 diabolical assistant named Marta
-1 guy named Cain
Guys who’ve played William in the WITCHCRAFT series:
-Ross Newton (W1)
-Charles Solomon (W2, W3, W4)
-Marklen Kennedy (W5)
Useless info for WITCHCRAFT V:
-the Academy VHS tape for the film is blue
-Director Talent Who…sorry, Talen Hsu went on to do a pretty decent Gary Daniels film called FATAL BLADE.
-James Merendino, director of pt. 4, is co-writer of the screenplay.
-So far Tony Miller has edited all 5 WITCHCRAFT films and is the only recurring player outside of producer Jerry Feifer. Feifer’s son Michael got a producing gig beginning with this one. Nepotism…grrrrrrrrr.
-And my favorite bit of trivia: the good witch Anastasia is played by Aysha Hauer, daughter of one Rutger Hauer.