Homeless man: Got any change?
Guy: No
Homeless man: Liar.
Guy:Actually I don't have any change and I resent being called a liar.
Man: OK
Guy: No, no, see? See? Actually I've got no coins at all, I've only got notes.
*coins fall out of jacket*
Guy: These, which are, emergency supply... for the... parking meters...

***

Guy: Piece of piss, this job. 'Haf ah got any meeting this hafternune?'

***
Mac: Emily has a horse.
Caroline: Oh dear, can't afford a car?

Sue- "It's so nice that it's quiet. That's quite nice for a Saturday morning, don't you think? Do you like it?"
Guy- "Yes, DARLING."
Sue- "Oooh..."
Guy- "I could drape my skinny white body all over it, if you like. Get my ginger pubes stuck in the cracks."
Sue- "You can stick them in my crack, you know."

:blink: I may have to find a home for these, maybe my freaky book of fangirl crap!
Oh and some more for you;

'He's SWISS. He's Gay Secretan'
'I BOUGHT YOU. FOR 30P'
'Donkey Boy. EEe AWWw!!!'
'The one with the Lion's mane?!'...'Stay away or pay the price!!'

Guy- "I blew a monkey on a dog."
Mac- "I could report you to the RSPCA for that."
Guy- "No, a monkey. It's 50 notes."
Terry- "500."
Guy- "Really? Then what's a pony?"
Mac- "I believe it's a small horse."

Mac- "I'm sure you two will have lots to talk about. But in the meantime, I believe, surgery beckons."
Caroline- "Where do you keep your palace?"
Mac- "Come on [lifts Caroline up over shoulder]."
Caroline- "Bye, Lady Emily! Your Highness!"
Mac- "Stop it."
Caroline- "What?"

I absolutely love, love, love this bit!