Okay, I'll get the ball rolling.

"Who wants to suck my cock?"
"I bought you, for 30p!"
"You can't make me laugh by poking me."
"He must be in touch with his feminine side, considering his middle name is Valerie."
"Because he once ethically objected to resuscitating a woman with an A Cup."
"Dr. Statham said he’d give me 20 quid if I sat here. Peanut?"
"I don’t think you understand. That’s soldered on. It’s never gonna come off."
"Would it be okay to x-ray my penis, I think I may have dislocated it."

Boyce is great =D

martin: whats a fluffer
boyce (putting his arm round martins shoulders): here ill show you

:lol: love boyce!!!! and guy and mac!!!!!

boyce: THE BUSH, THE BUSH!!!!!

:P

can i have a go on your prozzie?

let's rub our nipples... yes, i believe they have retracted.

Do I still have eyes like chipped blue ice?

"I hardly think that matters now"

That's in the restaurant where Statham has just told the dining party about his best and worst sexual conquests, not understanding what they had meant by best and worst.

"Is it a.. pointer? A 'baton'? No, it's a magical, magical wand."
B)

Boyce: "I don’t think you understand. That’s soldered on. It’s never gonna come off."
Alan: "Yes, quite. Remarkable – all achieved in apparently under five minutes."

"And if you're still standing after this, I'll let you put my hand in your pants."

Have I got that right?

Yeah :) Classic Boyce line.

"Go to the kitchen, the kitchen. Over there. The bush, the bush is the kitchen, no don't come over".

Boyce: "Yeah, I really didn’t need the penis thing, did I?"
Mac: "Not really."

"I'm sorry but I'm going to have to get you wet." :lol: :rude

Boyce: "I know she's sworn us to secrecy, but I’ve got to tell you. You and Caroline…"
Mac: "Yep."
Boyce: "You were…" [Taps his nose.]
Mac: "What, took cocaine together?"
Boyce: "No, no, no, no. Biiiiig buddies. Yeah, say no more."


hehe

AHH Y didnt Boyce jus say u were in LOVE! IN LOVE U FOOL! Biiiiiiiiig Buddies? Pah

Boyce: "Yeah, but who do you trust more, me or Guy?"
Mac: "Aah, that’s a tricky one."
Boyce: "I swear on my penis."
Mac: "Then I would be forced to believe you. Though, if I were to ask you, "Who would you trust more, Guy or anyone else in the world?" It’s not really Guy is it."
Boyce: "Yeah, I really didn’t need the penis thing, did I?"
Mac: "Not really."

Yeah, see what you mean, MBG. Was it Caroline who swore them to secrecy and, if so, WHY?! :blink: :rolleyes:

because he might not believe her!! lol simba ... he would think her crazy


Alan: “No, exactly. Not because they’ve been killed, obliviously. They’re might have been though, so it’s lucky for you, your lucky day Mr. Boyce isn’t it?”
Boyce: “What, because I’m too tall to be a dwarf?”
Alan: “Where?”
[Boyce points upwards.]
Boyce: “Just up there?”
[Alan looks up and sees nothing.]
Alan: “No, not there, not in the sky.”

Such a cute scene...makes me all sad lol i never heard what was said the first time i saw this though cryinga nd well more Ros's fault than anything!! lol

Boyce: "Hello? Hello, hello? Hello?"
Alan: "Hello? Is that Boyce? Hello?"
Boyce: "Hello, Dr Statham, is that you?"
Alan: "It's m…oh…" [Sings] "Hello. Is it me you're looking for? I can see it in your eyes. I can see it in your smile. You're all I've ever wanted, and my arms are open wide."
Boyce: "Dr Statham, are you serenading me with Lionel Richie?"
Alan: "Boy…Boyce. No. No, I called to say…I…I just called to say that…the parrot and the parakeet are flying west by moonlight."
Boyce: "OK."
Alan: [Sobbing] "Bye." [Hangs up.] "Right, come on. Come on, Alan."
[Alan goes back to the camper van. Through the window, Alan and Joanna can be seen embracing.]

that scene is just wonderful - how sweet would a Boyce and Alan running off together scene have been?? aww bless them :wub:

No, it would have to be Alan Joanna and Boyce in a motel living togther, Joanna couldnt be on her own she part of the package!

:lol: yes this is a good point i guess but still it would have been good though :)

Boyce: "No Statham, no bushel."

Awww!! I cant decide if Boyce seriously wants alan as a lover, cos it seemed to be that he used his charm to mock statham but when he was gone he missed him!! Theres a love story that hasn't been told...maybe thats the spin-off!!

Alan and Boyce - a love story I like it :lol: that would be such a cute yet highly amusing series of events haha!

lol
They'd have to be build up

-Innuendo's
-A drunken almost kiss
-More mocking and stuttering flirtatous moments
-Another drunken moment that ends with kissing in the rain
-The Ohhh No..we didnt kiss moments
-Then the how it happened leading to a kiss
-Kissing, being caught
-Denial
-Admetting it and comming to term with their seuality
-Kissing
-Entering a relationship together
-Experiementing
-Kissing
-Hiding their relationship
-Being found out
-Denial
-Talks
-Kissing in public, to porve their not bothered that people know
-Moving in together, Pretending its because it makes finacial sense
-Saying their love for each other
-Alan buys a wedding ring
-Dinner ..Alan proposes
-Boyce isnt sure
-Alans in danger
-Boyce realises he loves him to much to lose him
-Saves Alan
-Married Alan
-Adopt Chinese children!
The end

Oh i think i might have a story there lol of course i havnt been thinking about this, much!

yes yes yes write a slashy alan boyce story :lol: sounds like you have it all planned - maybe I should write what i want to happen in love soup :blink:

I cant do an Alan Boyce romance....im trying to write 6 flicks as it is!! You do it!

but I'm not good at writing you know this BUT I also have 2 more fics planned now and I'm struggleing to keep up with writing one but possibly

unless someone else wants to do it... :blink:

Ros your a better writer thanme, and anyway im terrible at Boyce Alan love....lol you dont have to do it right away now do you, these posts will still be here in a few weeks time!

:lol:
sounds fab :P

It still makes me angry. She doesnt deserve Alan, Boyce does!
Lol, Chinese children

:unsure:

Loved the rest.

Interesting ending.

lol Okay the ending was sort of a bit out there..who would let them adopt anyone or anything...I think chinese children they make cute babies!

Joanna has had a hard life, she finds it hard to love, when she so scared of everything around her.

Dont care! Jess, she gave up Guy! She abandoned him all alone! Unite against her!

Well im going to have to go and stick up for her!!

She was young and she'd made the mistack of having a one night stand,s he didnt have the courage to get rid of him, so gave birth, properly on her own, she gave him up knowing she could look after a child let alone herself, she couldnt take him home with ehr cos she would have been shund by her saintly mother!!

Also i have to say that without her there would be no guy. and im sure that many of you will agree life without guy is hard to imagen. So if she would have got rid of him before he was born, with her having a abortion, then there wouldent be guy at all.

im just trying to imagen life without guy. then without guy no mac, caroline and guy love triangle nor guys jokes and him singing.

TRY AND IMAGEN A GUY FREE LIFE! :jawdrop

:sob I dont like it :sob

I dont think anyone does. :thud

Good point Ducati, no joanna - no Guy. No Guy - no point to anything. Well made

Lets here it 4 Guy!

:cheer2 yay!!!!!!!!