"I'm going to blow his brains out...when I find them!"

Mac: (as Geordie) Would ye like a lil' fishy on a lil' dishy?
Guy: (sarcastically) Why aye (!)
Mac: Champion. Thou shalt have a mackerel.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Sorry that made me laugh :D :P

Mac (to Caroline about patient): Can you finish him off?
Guy: Yes, can you finish me off.
Mac & Caroline: Not you!

I love Guy's irrateness over the warning he got from the golf club!

"A - they've absolutely no proof it was me, B - how do they know I was driving the golf buggy of my own free will, I could have had a gun to my head, and C - since when has an ornamental squirrel constituted 'the fabric of the course'!"

Guy: There are two things women want: money and protection.
Martin: Well that's alright, I've got a credit card and a helmet.

mac: you're part of my team
guy: you're part of my anus

i love it he's so quick with his come-backs

Sue- So you like clothes?

Mac- Yeah it's just a thing! I like clothes!!

Pure genius!!

caroline: guy, i have to ask you a question
guy: caroline no! people are watching and besides its not hygenic

:lol:

GUY : Cut 'em open, bitch.
MAC : Gas her, fucker.
GUY : Sew her up, gimp.


GUY : (to Mac) : You're the baby, I'm the placenta.

Lovely imagery there.

one of my favourites has to be
MAC : Right, so you probably think it'd be better if everyone was like you?
GUY : Well, yeah.
MAC : Er, no. Because then there'd be a great surge in lesbianism.
:excited :high lol

GUY : I'm eating the coffee.
MAC : You are, you are. You are eating the coffee. You are eating the coffee. You ate the expensive coffee.
GUY : I know.
MAC : Yeah, well done. Do you know what that means? Do you know what the whole of that means? It means that you won

:roflmao Oh I love that one.

funkee

:lol: One I was reminded of last night,

Guy: [about Caroline] I think she's TDTF.
Mac: Well, she's definitely TDTD.

GUY : Right. Tea. (attempts to eat the tea, then spits it out) Tea is horrible.

----

MARTIN : You know, I've never even touched anyone that attractive.
GUY : Well, you could touch my arm.
MARTIN : It's not the same, is it?


hehe guy is so full of himself cant help but love him for that

CAROLINE : Mind you, I did have a rather disturbing lesbian dream.
GUY : BINGO!
MAC : Would you like to talk about that? At all?

----

GUY : Your shoes are ringing.
MAC : Might be a lesbian.

had to put thi it had me in stitches

GUY: Have you ever seen that film, The Terminator, it's about a cyborg woman that gets pregnant and...
[Mac stabs him with a scalpel]
GUY: Owww
MAC: OK I think we're about ready to close here.
[Caroline enters and Guy bends down behind the sheet]
GUY: [in a pained yet pervy voice] Hello Caroline.

I love it during the scene where Guy is "helping" Martin revise, by giving him a hypothetical situation involving a girl and her mother dying in a house fire.

Guy: "No, the mother is very selfish."

Martin: "Oh well then she deserves to die."

Guy: "Oooh they won't like that!"

Poor Martin!

love the bit in series 2 ep 2 where sue is all sporty and shout "your all a bunch off fatties!!!.....you cant have that your fat, too fat!" and kick the tray out of the mans hands
had me in stitches my fav quote at the moment lol
shes crazy

MARTIN : Will you go out with me?
SUE : No, get out.

MAC : Martin, is this your signature?
MARTIN : Yes.
MAC : Ah. Can't really do smiley faces on death certificates. Could look a little insensitive.

MAC : Come on guys, you know we don't play British Bulldog in theatre.


ahhh fantastic :lol:

Guy: See, I actually gave you 8 when you gave me 10. I win!"

Guy: 'Bloody Hell that was a guess! Kissing in the toilet; Don't flush, it's Lush!'

Mac: 'Do you know what I like about Goths? They pretend that they're pretending to be ugly'

And ofcourse the classic Martin: 'She's my smoo too!'.

that one my fav scenes the expression on his face lol

guy; like a Zebra
martin; no wilder
guy; a warthog
m; wild
g; fish
m; yeah....

lol a fish!!!

When Martins trying on clothes in Sue's office for the party.

Martin: It feels a little bit crispy
Sue: Jesus Christ these were meant to have been wasshed!

:lol: The way she says 'wasshed'

MARTIN: Yeah but Miss Marple's a brilliant detective.
GUY: She looks like a scrotum in a hat! (smashes away pack of Hula Hoops)

Has it not been said already?

Guy: "You, are a ginger"
Mac: "I am a fraise-blonde"

Jessa- Love the pic in your siggie... He looks so cute there- wish it was me and not Caroline... lol

Oooo now I need a quote I suppose...

Guy is looking at the swan, someone wlasks past him and gives him a funny look
Guy- He, he pulled out in front of me!

i thankyou very much my dear!!! and my god, so do i...mmm mac....

my quote for the day!!


GUY : Cut 'em open, bitch.
MAC : Gas her, fucker.
GUY : Sew her up, gimp.

Guy: "That is going to be one good looking baby"
Mac: "Yeah, F**k you" (walks away)
Guy: "Well, sense of humour failure there from the quip-meister"

He should've been stabbed twice for that.

I've got quite a few favourite Guy, Mac and Martin ones. If I repeat any ... sorry. (First post)

Mac: "Funk-ay!"
Martin: "Funk-ee!"
Mac: "Funk-ay!"
Martin: "Funk-ee!"
Mac: "Say it with me: Funk-ay!"
Martin: "Funk-ee!"
Guy: "FUNK-AY!!!"
Mac: "Yeah, alright"

***

Guy: "It's the love child of Wayne Sleep and Godzilla! What are you, the 8th dwarf, 'Twatty'? You know, even if you were from the future, you'd still be wrong. Actually ... you know what I like about the outfit? f*ck-all."

***

Guy: "I'm Butch Cassidy. That's *Butch*. And you're the sundance kid. "Ooh, look at me, I'm dancing in the sun like a big kid".

***

Statham: "You know, most women find male peircings repugnant. I, thankfully, am completly intact."
Mac: "Well, even I draw the line at piercing arseholes."

***

Mac: *Hits Guy's head against locker* "PROPERLY!"
Guy: "Er ... Je suis Desolé"
Mac: *Hits Guy's head against locker* "IN ENGLISH!"
Guy: "I'm ... um ... I'm ssss ... I'm sso... Martin ... I'm ssssorry I told you when you passed your exams when you hadn't."
Mac: *Hits Guy's head against locker* "Now hug."
Martin and Guy: "What?!"
Mac: "Hug!"
*Martin and Guy hesitiate*
Mac: "FUCKING HUG-AH!!!"

Sorry ... forgot one!

Guy (Eating cornflakes): "And that's how I lost my virginity. She had nice tits for a 45 year old. Haven't seen her since, though."
Mac: *Sits down, breathing heavily* "Well?"
Guy: "Well what, you scrawny poof?"
*Mac pushes Guy's face into the cornflakes*
Guy: "You're not a poof, you're not a poof!!!"
Mac: *Releases guy* "And?"
Guy: *looks confused* "And you ARE a poof!"

GUY: £249 for severe anal bruising

i love this scene and all the ones in the operating theatre!

Mac:The smell of her perfume mingling with her skin, her bodily fluids, her shampoo...which all come together to make...
Guy:A dirty minging woman, trust the bloody French to make it sound romantic.

:excited

lol

martin: whats a fluffer??
boyce: come on, i'll show you


love that one lol

:lol:
martin: he wants a go on my prossie
guy in a sarcastic imitatin martin voice: martin thats a horrible thing to say

:lol: people may not get that quote unless they watched that episode!

Guy: So in your state, what you've probably 'forgotten' is that you're actually quite sh*t at this sort of thing
Mac: Even someone who was dead and already been cremated would still be fully aware that I'm better at this than you
Guy: Okay. So, the winner gets to spend a night of passion with the most desireable person in the hospital. Oh hang on a minute that's me, I'm spending a night with myself. Let's make that the most gorgeous babe in the hospital.
Mac: Okay, I look forward to that.

and later on in the same scene:

Guy: Your parents were in a freak show weren't they? The Flying Gingos
Mac: No, they ran the show, they paid your wages, remember? The Swiss Beared Lady-Boys.

Which led up to the spoooon of destiny :)

Guy and Mac’s top five qualities in a woman, to Caroline.

Guy: "Five qualities, that’s easy. Number one, bendy."
Mac: "Unpredictable."
Guy: "Number two, shaved."
Mac: "Must appreciate the genius of the Kinks."
Guy: "Number three, slightly anorexic."
Mac: "Thoughtful eyes."
Guy: "Four, about sort of 5% lesbian."
Mac: "Should be in touch with her masculine side."
Guy: "And finally, mustn’t be too smelly, in the cellar."
Mac: "Compassionate."
Guy: [Disgusted] "Errrr…So what you’ve come up with is an unpredictable, yet compassionate, slightly masculine, Kinks fan, with eyes?"
Mac: "I know. It’s an impossible dream."

Guy: Are you miserable?
Mac: No
Guy: really.... are you sure cause you look really miserable. Like a sad eyed clown in a 70's painting.
Mac: Yeah, there was something wasn't there. Now what was it, ummm.... Oh that's right yeah Caroline saw me with my ex girlfriend, got all funny about it and .... ahhh stuck her tongue down your throat.

Guy: Does it bother you that your son's a bastard?
Mac: Does it bother you that you're a bastard?
Guy: Well, my parents were victims of circumstance
Mac: Not even talking about your paretage

:D

Mac: Oh, I'm gonna tell your dad you said that, just as soon as we work out where he is.

i love Martin when he's talking to the detective he hired...

Detective:right i've got a name and i've got a job
Martin:(looking confused)yeh... so have i...

hehehe and also when he swaps his chips for mash potato so that Guy cant nick it and then he does!

and also when Mac says summit like this in theatre

"heres a phrase you've probably heard quite a lot before...can you put you're pathetic little organ away."

i love dat quote because durin the keyboard music before macs last line hes wiggling his head along with it!!! then he says that line!! :lol:

Mac: “Here’s a phrase you’ve probably heard quite a few times in your life, “Could you put your pathetic little organ away?””
Guy: “I can’t because it’s a vital organ.”
Mac: “I should warn you that part my job description is to remove vital organs.”