Hello again! Another crap fanfic from good old Ultimate.

Another day working in the hospital. Just Caroline, Guy and some new surgeon they’d never met before. Mac still hadn’t woken from his coma and to be honest people were getting bored it. Sometimes he’d show signs of waking up but it wasn’t to be. Mac would just lie there…as if he was just a model at Madame Tussauds.Caroline never stopped going to see him though despite the mental plans Sue came up with to stop her. Guy stopped going though, mainly to try and get himself into a coma for attention. It nearly worked once but it turned out he was just asleep.

Alan: Good Morning Joanna! How are you this morning?
Joanna: Shit.
Alan: oh….lovely.
Joanna: Could you get out of my office, people are staring!
Alan: Yes, of course.
Alan doesn’t move.
Joanna: f*ck off then.
Alan: Yep, doing that now.
Still doesn’t move.
Joanna: What the f*ck are you doing Alan?
Alan: I was reading a book earlier on, one I found in the waiting room, about how to spice up relationships and one, the one I’m doing now was to be sarcastic.
Joanna: Jesus… How many times did you say one?
Alan: None at all.
Joanna: Are you being sarcastic now or just plain thick?
Alan: Neither.
Joanna: Fucking hell…

Meanwhile Guy was walking around the hospital trying to pull some nurses.
Guy: Hey, I didn’t believe in angels…but then I saw you.
Nurse: I didn’t know you were a wanker until you spoke to me. Well actually I did. The whole hospital knows you’re a wanker.
Guy: Oi! No they bloody don’t. Most people in this hospital think I’m completely fantastic.
Nurse: Ha! Yeah right.
Guy: Yes! Right actually! The whole hospital knows about your thing.
Nurse: What thing?
Guy: Y’know…Your problem…down there.
Nurse: I don’t have any problems down there.
Guy: That’s not what your ex-boyfriend says.
Nurse: You don’t know my ex-boyfriend.
Guy: Actually I do. He came in for an STD test not long ago. Guess what?
Nurse: What?
Guy: Test results came back positive. You’ve got crabs. Ha!


Sorry i know crabs isnt an STD (or is it? i'm thick) but i couldnt spell chlymidia<<<?

Yay new fic :D Brilliant start, love the Alan and Joanna bits :)

:lol: :lol: ...You come back...and with a great flick!

:D I'm back!

Caroline was in Macs private room… again but this time she’d persuaded Guy to come with her. They were celebrating something the Nurse looking after Mac had said. Mac had woken up for about 4 seconds just a few minutes ago but there was no sign of him doing it again.

Guy: Do you think he thought anything when he woke up?
Caroline: He’s thinking all the time. But in the form of dreams.
Guy: Well I wonder what he’s dreaming about then. Probably me.
Caroline: No offence but why would he dream of you?
Guy: Duh, because I’m brilliant.
Caroline: Yeah, well…so am I but I bet he’s not dreaming about me. He’s probably dreaming of Emilily.
Guy: You mean concerto number 1 von posh?
Caroline: I just wish he would wake up.
Guy: Yeah I know…I’m sure he will soon.
Caroline: I’ve got to go. You staying here?
Guy: Yeah, see you later.

Guy sat down next to Mac. As he put his hand on top of Macs he watched the heart monitor. The beeps got faster and faster and the line on the screen went mental. Mac’s body started to beat along with his heart. Guy let go of Mac and searched for a nurse.
Guy: Oi, nurse woman! Something happening to Mac!
The nurse and Guy rushed back into the room but nothing was happening. The beeps were regular, the line beating calmly. Mac lying perfectly still…

Alan had finally got out of Joanna’s room after she groped him in front of all the office girls. While walking around the hospital he noticed no one was staring at him and calling him a tit like usual. In fact even when he spoke to people they didn’t seem to respond. This wasn’t actually very odd for Alan. But nobody trying somehow to bump into him, push him on the floor and stab him in the ear was really weird.

Martin: Hey Caro, you alright?
Caroline: Yeah I suppose. Just wishing I could be supposingly alright with Mac.
Martin: Why don’t you go and see him then?
Caroline: No I mean with him awake.
Martin: Oh, it’s a shame really.
Caroline: Obviously.
Martin: I mean you and Mac. You should have got together.
Caroline: Well we did. Then that twat Guy had to go and drive him onto the edge a bloody cliff.
Martin: Careful with the language Caro. You’ll end up sounding like Joanna Clore.
Caroline: I wish there was a way I could go back in time and stop Guy sleeping with Joanna.
Martin: Well maybe there is…

Martin has a TARDIS!! :P
Or he has contact with the Doctor..
Nah I prefer the idea of him having a TARDIS :D Martin the Timelord ^_^

Maisie..this isn't gunna turn into a slash fic is it??

oooooh haha timelord martin and sidekick caroline sounds good

how cool was that :D

That would be a fun programme wouldn't it :D

Couldn't think of a more unlikely timelord though :lol:

hahaha - love it :D

Ooooooooooh, Ultimate has started a new fic!!! YESSSSSSSSSS!!! To quote Borat, "I very excite!!" Although I am worried about the potential slashiness. Guy should get together with Caroline, not Mac!!!! :( Please make him comfort her and get closer to her and rent half his bed out to her... ahem. Then when Mac wakes up and has no memory of Caroline, he can just accept she and Guy are an item and they can get married and live happily ever after together and have lots of kids and plenty of fun making them. Can you tell I want to see smut in this fic? :P

I love the comedy in this, though. Alan and Joanna are as funny as ever and I'm most intrigued by the sudden difference in people's attitudes towards Alan. What's going on there? I need to find out and soon.

OMG, yes, it does sound like Martin has a time machine of some sort! Will this mean the accident can never have happened if Martin comes to the rescue?!

I love you, Ultimate. So good to see you back and especially as you come bearing fic. How are you, anyway, matey? :hug

B)
He's a timelord..

TRUEFAX!!

:hug I'm great thanks. I missed you!! :hug

Caroline: What? You mean like a TARDIS or something?
Martin: No, i mean like a person maybe...who can change time with their mind maybe.
Caroline: Well that would be nice but if that person did exist they'd be fictional.
Martin: How could they exist if they were fictional? Anyway they do exist.
Caroline: Martin...just be quiet.

Guy was running around the hospital looking for Caroline. He had to tell her what had just happened. He’d looked for her everywhere and he was actually getting worried although he knew she was alright.Finally he saw her just walking away from Martin so he ran as fast as he could to her to tell her the news.
Guy: Caroline!! I’ve got something to tell you!
Caroline: What!? Is it something to do with Mac?
Guy: Yeah. I…
Caroline: Is he awake?!
Guy: No, but he was nearly!
Caroline: What?
Guy: I just nearly brought back from his coma. That screen thing in his room with the line went up and down really fast and stuff and he looked like he was fitting but when I went back he’d stopped.
Caroline: God, is he alright?
Guy: Well, he’s still in his coma.
Caroline: Then what was the point in telling me that?
Guy feeling a bit upset by the way Caroline reacted replied: Well I just thought you’d like to know.
Caroline sighed and walked towards Sue Whites room.
Guy: What’s up with her?
Martin: Dunno….. Do you believe in like...superpowers?
Guy: What are you on about now Fartin?
Martin: Errr, nothing….bye.

Alan was still walking around the hospital being ignored. He couldn’t work out why.
In the end he decided to go back to Joanna’s office.
Alan: Hi girls.Woman...err...girly women. Whatever you are. Is Joanna in her office, some business to talk about?
Kim: Yeah. What business?
Alan: Why?
Kim: We need to know for certain purposes.
Alan: W-w-well its hospital business.
Kim: When?
Alan: When’s what?
Kim: Oh right. He left earlier.
Alan: W-w-what? Who left?
Kim got up from her seat and carried on talking to the man behind Alan.
Alan: Right then. I’ll just…

Joanna: What are you doing back again?
Alan: Err, not sure. Goodbye.
Joanna: Bye…. arseface.

Alan bumped into Kim on the way out of Joanna’s office.
Alan: Oh sorry.
Kim: When did you get here? I never saw you come up.
Alan: Erm...no. well I didn’t…apparently. goodbye.

I kinda made a logo-ish thing for my fic.. :rolleyes: :P

:lol: Alan's invisibible and he doesn't realise!!

And Martin has to have a TARDIS!! It's like law!!

Ooh, that logo is "funkeh" B) B) B)

I love this. Poor Guy, Caroline's gone and upset him now. :angry: :(

I'm confused as to what's going on with Alan, though. Can't wait to read more and find out.

:excited :excited

:D

BTW this is the last section until Tuesday because i'm going on holiday tomorrow. B)

Martin realised no-one was going to listen so he went to Sue White. Like that would be any better.

Sue: Good Morning Martin. Now what can I do you for?
Martin: Evening actually. Anyway…this will sound stupid coming from me but
Sue: Anything sounds stupid coming from you.
Martin: Thanks (!) Anyway…I think I’m turning into Superman.
Sue: Ok…actually I do have some advice for once.
Martin: Ok………………………..what is it then?
Sue: Patience elf boy! I know a man you need to go to. He lives far away in a magical world…called the psychiatric ward. I advise you to go and see him immediately.
Martin: I’m not mad! Last week I learnt how to change time with my mind. And when I came back to the right time I found a key in my hand and I don’t know what it belongs to.
Sue: Usually right now I’d say something very witty, very clever but I can’t be bloody arsed to think of anything so instead I’m going to keep it simple.
Fack off!!!

It was nearly time to go home for some of the staff. It would usually include Mac but of course he had to stay. So Caroline walked out with Guy instead.
Caroline: Agghh, why did you have to go and shag your mum!?
Guy: Well I didn’t know at the time! It was a dare anyway.
Caroline: Really? Who from?
Guy: Mac.
Caroline: Mac?
Guy: Yeah, so actually all this is his fault. If he had never dared me I wouldn’t have done it. She’s too old for me anyway.
Caroline: And your mother!
Guy: Yes I know. Stop saying that. Anyway as I was saying its Mac’s fault.
Caroline: I suppose it is. Not that I’m going to blame him.
Guy: Who will you blame then?
Caroline gave him a look that made it obvious the answer was him.
Guy: But it’s not my fault! That’s not fair.
Caroline: I wish you and Mac would stop fighting all the time.
Guy: We don’t fight! I’m just too clever and good looking for him to cope with it so he takes his jealousy out on me.
Caroline: Yeah whatever. See you tomorrow.
Guy: You’re not going to invite me round for a drink ten?
Caroline: No. Why would I do that?
Guy: Because I’m your friend and you need someone to talk to.
Caroline: Well that’s nice but I’m fine. Really.
Guy: Are you sure I can’t tempt you?
Caroline sighed. Caroline: Oh...go on then. But not for long.
Guy: Yay! Move over Mac. Love god Guys coming in.
Y’what? Caroline said as she got in her car.
Guy: Oh, nothing.

Alan and Joanna had gone to the pub with Boyce.
Boyce was on his mobile. Boyce: Yeah, has anyone seen him at all. Ok, yeah. C’ya.
Alan: Was that another woman you’ve h-h had?
Boyce: Err no. It was the hospital….Macs gone missing.

:jawdrop :jawdrop Martin's taken Mac time-travelling, hasn't he? OMF!

Oh, yes, Guy and Caroline are going home together. What will they get up to? Come on, you're not going to disappoint me, Ultimate, are you?... *looks stern* ;) ;)

This is such an exciting fic, like all yours!

What do you mean Mac's gone missing :o Ohhh and is Guy not lodging with Caroline anymore - cool :)

Macs missing, caros with guy, martins got super powers. this fic is crazy but im hooked already haha

This is set at the v. beginning of series 2 so it's before Guy's moved in with Caroline.

*scrolls back to the start* Ohhh yes

*feels slightly stupid* :eehee

I'm back! :hug

Boyce: I think I’ll ring Caroline…

Guy and Caroline had just left the hospital car park when Caroline’s mobile rang.
Caroline: Oh bugger. Where can I stop?
Guy: I could just answer it for you.
Caroline: Oh…. Go on then.
Guy: ok…Hello?
Boyce: Hi Guy, is Caroline there?
Guy: Yeah, shes driving. What do you want?
Boyce: Macs gone missing.
Guy: What? How? Do you mean he’s out of his coma?
Caroline: Macs out of his coma?!
Guy: Shhh! So he’s definitely not in the hospital?
Boyce: Nope, completely missing. I was thinking you could have a look for him.
Caroline: What’s happening?
Guy: Keep your eyes on the road. I’m too young and pretty to die.
Boyce: I’m not driving.
Guy: Not you! Anyway we’ll look. Thanks. Bye!
Caroline: What’s going on? Is he awake?
Guy: Dunno.
Caroline: So what did Boyce want?
Guy: Well, apparently, something has occurred.
Caroline: Guy!! Just tell me what’s happened.
Guy: Macs dead!!
Caroline: Oh my god! No!
Guy: Let me finish…Macs dead missing. No-one can find him anywhere.
Caroline: How can he go missing, hes in a bloody coma!
Guy: Calm down! Maybe he’s just been ginger-knapped.
Caroline: I’ve got to find him.
Guy: Let’s search the streets then. Wait a minute... Who’s that ginger man that just jumped off the hospital roof!
Caroline: Where?
Guy: Ha ha! I’m joking! Let’s find him.
Caroline: I fucking hate you sometimes.
Guy: Ouh, language.

Back in the pub Alan was going to the toilet.

Man in toilet: Oi mate, your flies are undone.
Alan: Th-th-thank you. For telling me.
Man in toilet: S’alright.
Alan: Can you see anything odd about me in anyway?
Man in toilet: Well…you’re invisible.
Alan: Ohh right. That’s what it is. So how can you see me if I’m…invisible?
Man in toilet: Because I’m special.
There was a long pause with nothing but a strange grin on the special man in the toilets face.
Alan: Right…goodbye.
Man in toilet: Hee hee…I certainly won’t take that back.

Sue was sitting quietly in her office looking at the strange length of her fingers just as Martin walked in.
Martin: I do have superpowers and I will prove it to you!
Sue: Oh really!? How?
Martin: Where in time would you like to go?
Sue: To the time where this conversation finishes.
Martin: Seriously.
Sue: Seriously then. Ok...erm…where in time would I like to go….ermmmm...errrrr…
1 Hour Later
Sue: Ermmmm………….where in time….that’s a hard one that…ermmmm...Oh! I know…tomorrow please.
Martin: Took you that long to think of that.
Sue: Oh just do it would you.
Suddenly the whole room started to become blurred while spinning so fast the objects in Sue’s room started to merge into lumps of colour. It was over so fast it seemed as Martin and Sue appeared back into the office.
Martin: There you go. Tomorrow.
Sue: It’s exactly the same as yesterday. Today...oh I don’t know. Get out!

Guy and Caroline had looked nearly all around London. They’d seen many a Mac look-a-like and shouted at most of them only to find it wasn’t him.
Guy: Can we go back to yours now. I’m tired.
Caroline: You’re not sleeping there.
Guy: Oh I won’t be sleeping.
Caroline: Yes, you’ll be at yours.
Guy: Oh you want to ‘’sleep’’ at mine do you?
Caroline just ignored him because she knew he’d just carry on winding her up.
Guy: Look, were not going to find him tonight and its getting late. We may as well just go.
Caroline sighed. She hated the fact she knew he was right.
Caroline: Alright. But we will definitely look again tomorrow.
Guy: Definitely. So am I still going back to yours? I can’t really be bothered to go alllll the way back to mine.
Caroline: It’s not that far. I’ll just drop you off.
Guy: But ive moved since then.
Caroline: So where do you live now?
Guy: Oh I…I haven’t got a home any more.
Caroline: If you haven’t got a flat, house or whatever,where have you been sleeping?
Guy: At the hospital. In the theater.On the operating table and its bloody freezing in there. oh please Caro!
Caroline: Don’t call me that.
Guy: So can I?
Caroline: Why do you keep forcing me to do stuff?
Guy: I won’t need to force you later.
Caroline: Won’t need to force me later to do what?
Guy just smiled at her and she obviously knew what he was on about.She was even considering doing it just to shut him up.
Caroline: Oh go on then.
Guy: Yay!

Haha!
Yay!
This is very amusing, very amusing indeed :D

Oh, yes, v. amusing indeed! :D You've got the characters of Guy and Sue particularly well. Guy would definitely be saying all that in this sort of situation. He is a bastard but still a sexy bastard, nonetheless. :wub: :P

Extreme oddities going on in the fic, though. Your fics always seem to scare me at one point or another or several. :lol: Who is this man in the toilet? Madness! I can't believe Alan's invisible, though! LOL! I can't wait to see what Joanna's going to make of that! That could be soooooooo funny.

Come on, then, Martin, you have the powers to change the coures of history and the future here. I think Martin is going to be the hero of the story! Yay! :raiseroof

Oh and yay for possible romance between Guy and Caro. 'You know it makes sense, Ultimate.' ;) :excited

:o hurry up and give Caroline a superpower so she can keep Guy at arm's length :angry:

Sorry ive not posted any flic recently but ive been sorting all this school stuff out and ive not had time but i'll defo get as mush as i can up this weekend... :D