Caroline lay there, looking up towards the ceiling; finally knowing what complete happiness was, well almost complete happiness. This almost complete happiness was occuring due to the fantastically gorgeous man of her dreams lying in bed next to her. The niggling, not so happy part of this scenario was that she knew she would not have this for ever; the happily ever after like she had always wanted. The fact was that she knew her husband was going to die, and it would be soon.

The previous day had been wonderful for Caroline, it was her wedding day. It was probably going to be the most memorable day of her life, mainly because it was absolute perfection. Mac had made her feel like a godess for the whole day, his iminent ending was not to be mentioned, and he just concentrated on making her feel happy. She also returned the favour, as they partied the night away; dancing their first dance as a married couple, dancing their first horrendously drunk dance as a married couple. Until eventually at about midnight the venue was cleared and they went upstairs to the bridal sweet and fell into each others arms. It was the first time they had been allowed to cherish each other, and make love. All the shackles were broken away as they explored each others bodies, with such an intent, due to there finally being no obstacles in their way, such as ex-girlfriends, or train stations.

And finally it was now that Caroline lay in the huge double bed, that she could really relish in the fact that she was now Mrs Maccartney. But again the pending doom of her new husband crept into her head, it was a form of lukemia that there was little chance of curing. The doctors had given Mac a month to live, which was of course depending on the results of his final blood test, which he would receive during the next week. But the doctors had expressed their absolute certainty that their diagnosis was correct, and the blood tests would show that there was nothing they could do. Tears started to fall down Caroline's cheeks as she thought about the death of her new husband, and she began to sob into the pillow. This, in turn, woke up Mac, who at first did not register where he was or what was going on, but he soon realised it was late into his wedding night, and it was his newly wedded wife who was sobbing, and who needed his immediate comforting.

"Hey sweetheart, please don't cry like this" Mac pleaded as the crying worsened. He did his best to hold her, as he knew exactly what was upsetting her. She rolled over into his embrace, and as they both lay naked in each others arms, she carried on weeping for what was at least an hour. Mac didn't mind this as he knew he had been woken and so had the chance to hold his stunningly beautiful wife. He also knew that from now on, he would have to take all the chances he could get to hold his wife. Finally as the crying stopped Caroline finally spoke:
"I'm sorry Mac, it's so selfish of me to be like this, you're the one who I am supposed to be comforting." Mac replied to this with the most comforting tone he could possibly muster, "Hey, hey you will never have any reason that you need to apologise to me for, just remeber that ok? Caroline silently nodded, and snuggled into his chest, as Mac took up the task of gently stroking her hair, and holding her. It wasn't long before they were both asleep.

****************************************************************

To be continued.....

yey for new fanfic!!! but noooooooo for mac dying (yeah i know i cant talk seeing as i'm killing him but it doesn't mean anyone else is allowed to) hopefully the blood test results will show that he's not going to die. beautiful start :D

Woot woot new fic :D

but :cry Mac can't die!! Please don't make him die!! :cry

yay new fic by new person :thumbsup

However, can I just point out, in case you didn't know, that *whispers* MAC IS NOT ALLOWED TO DIE IN FICS OK :)

Although reading:-

makes me think that hopefully you're going to make the Doctors wrong :unsure:

YAY!! new fic :yeeay
awwww its so sweet to but to second IMO
MAC ISNT ALLOWED TO DIE!!! :angry:
there are to many fics with this in already lets have an amazingly happy one in it haha.

Having read this fabulous first instalment, I'm confident Mac won't die in this fic. I hope they're not famous last words (Sorry - bad choice of phrase :ph43r: ) but it sounds too CarMac for it to end badly.

It's great, this, Kath. I love your writing style. Flows superbly and really urges to you read on. I'm really looking forward to more. :)

It was a few days after the wedding, and Mac sat in front of the telly, with absolutley no intention of watching the flickering pictures across the screen. He and Caroline had got the next week off from work, due to their recent wedding, and the rest of the hospital staff knowing about Mac's tragic situation. Caroline and Mac had agreed that they would not have a honeymoon, as they wanted to be around the places they knew and their friends, as the end of Mac's life drew closer; Mac was glad of this as it meant as well as being able to drink in his lovely wife at every avaliable oppertunity, he could also be around Guy, Martin and all of his other friends.
That afternoon Caroline had gone out to go food shopping, as Caroline's house, which was now officially "their" house was desperatley under-stocked of essentials. Over the last few days since the wedding, Mac had decided to move most of his stuff into Caroline's house as they both wanted to have their new life as normal as possible. Also, Guy had thankfully moved out of the house before the wedding, as he wanted the best for his two closest friends.
************************************
It had only been an hour that Caroline had left the house, and Mac was already pining for her. He yearned for her touch, her smell, her prescence. It was suddenly through this train of thought that Mac suddenly realised out loud to himself, "If I'm missing her after an hour, what hell is she going to go through when I'm gone forever?"
The colour drained from his face, he now seriously hoped that atheists were right, and that there was nothing after death, because he could not even begin to imagine having to exsist in another world without her. He then thought to himself that he was being horrendously selfish for thinking this way, so he desperatley tried to push all of these unpleasant thoughts right to the back of his mind. However one niggling thought refused to leave his brain, and that was that it was tommorow that he would have his appointment to find out the results of his final blood test. All he could think about was what his collegue Jeffery had told him, "I'm sorry Mac, from what I can see the lukemia has taken hold and there would be no way of over coming this disease." He then heard the door slam, as Caroline walked through the door, laden down with bags of shopping.
"Mac, could you give me a hand? I think I've gone a bit overboard, and bought enough food to feed the whole Greek Olympic team!"
Mac managed to force a smile, he enjoyed the mundane things of married life such as helping Caroline with the shopping; it kept life very normal, and made it ever so slightly easier to deal with.
*********************************************************
To be continued....

This is so well written, and beautiful, and realsitic. Dont let him die,
aww. I may prefer Carosue but Mac dyign is too said. Kill of guy instead

:lol:
CHLOE!

awh, dont make mac die!
LET JEFF BE LIEING!
:cry

No he's wrong - he's got to be wrong :(

Isn't it Caroline's brother's house anymore :unsure:

aww that's so sweet :wub:

Aww, yeah, beautiful writing and sentimentality in this. Some really deep thoughts that are making me want to cry. Amazing stuff; please continue a.s.a.p.

Yeah this is such a beautiful fic but please don't let him die!! There are so many depressing Caromacs at the moment we need an uplifting one! Please update soon!

And so, Mac was sitting in the sterile environment of Jeffery's office, (well actually it wasn't that sterile, as he had still obviously not combated his huge smoking addiction) anxiously awaiting his blood test results. Finally after what had seemed like hours, Jeffery finally entered the room, with a relativley relaxed look on his face. Mac could bearly stand it any longer and had to break the tension, "So Jeff, have you got the old er..... results then."
"I certainly have Mac, and I have to say, something that came back in the results was a little surprising."
Mac turned white as he thought of all the horrendous possibilities of what Jeffery could possibly be talking about; all he wanted was as much time as possible with Caroline. Jeffery then broke Mac's vivid daydreaming with, "Although these blood test results do show that you have a severly aggressive form of lukemia, it appears that there might be something that we could do for you."
All of a sudden the colour reappeared in Mac's face, he couldn't believe he suddenly had some sort of chance.
"You see there is a tiny chance that a bone marrow transplant could work for you; the problem being, trying to locate a match, as you know family members are the most likely suitable donors, but even Caroline could be a match."
"No, no I couldn't possibly do that, I would never want to put Caroline through a procedure just to help me, I could never make her go through any type of pain." As Mac immediatley broke in with this statement, he really could not think of a worse thing to expect his wife to do. And with that Mac got up and left the room.
******************************************************
After a lot of walking, and thinking Mac eventually made his way back to the house, where Caroline was eagerly waiting for news from his doctors appointment. In fact as he came through the door, she leapt up at a ridculously fast pace to meet him in the hall.
"So how was it, how long have you got?" Caroline asked with no attempt to hide the fact that she urgently wanted an answer.
Mac solemly replied, "Well the tests er..... confirmed that I do have an aggressive form of lukemia, but Jeffery said there was the slightest chance that a bone marrow transplant could beat it, but obviously they will have to find a match, and that's not going to be easy."
Caroline's face fell, she had always been one for optimism, and there had been that voice in her head, the one that had told her everything would be okay and that there would be an easy way out of this terrible situation. She started to cry and Mac pulled her into his embrace, as he rocked her from side to side. Caroline suddenly jolted back and broke contact, "Mac, I want to see if I'm a suitable donor for you." Mac suddenly started to cry, and proceeded to sit on the staircase, with his head in his hands, just silently weeping. He didn't want her to do it, he really didn't want to put her through any pain; she was his gorgeous, perfect wife, how could she expect him to let her go through surgery, no matter how routine it was, for him. He most definatley could not let her do it.
****************************************************
To be continued.....

yey we knew you wouldnt let him die! i wonder if caroline is a match though...

yay a flicker of hope. Now don't go all Neighbours on me cause Stingray donated his bone marrow last week and now he's dead :o

Aw he's he's got to live now - Caroline has got to be a suitable donor! Love the fast updates, keep up the fab work :)

aww this fic is beautifulll he really loves her loads aww

Ooooooh, yay... I think yay, anyway. I hope Caroline does turn out to be a suitable donor... again, I think... and that she can save him. How amazing would you feel if you could do that and save your husband's life?!

This is really thought-provoking, Kath. Please, please keep up the good work because you've got us all hooked. Like your style. :thumbsup

this is really good, makes it seem really realistic, makes you think.
please dont turn it into neighbours!

Again Caroline had found herself lying awake, for the fifth night in a row, completely absorbed in her own thoughts, and completely unable to fall asleep. The past week had been horrendous; she had begged Mac for her to go to the hospital and get tested to see if she could be a donor for him, but he would not hear of it. It wouldn't be such a problem if he had an unlimited number of family members, but with both his mother and father dead, and being an only child she couldn't really see an alternative.
Also, due to this hightened amount of stress and fear, they were barely on speaking terms. It's not that they had argued in particular, they had just found it hard to talk to each other without the subject in hand being brought up. It was ridiculous, Caroline thought; they should be savouring their time with each other, and living life to the full, but at this moment they could hardly even look at each other. Even so, they still had their deep meaningfull connection, which probably came from the eternal love that they felt for each other. As Caroline lay there, Mac rolled over in his sleep and hugged her tight. He was so warm and comforting even in this unconsious state, Caroline was almost tempted to wake him up, and try and resolve the issue, but she realised that doing such a thing would get neither of them anywhere.

****************************************************
It was the next morning, and Caroline was driving them both to the hospital. The tension in the air was thick, as they both sat there silently not really knowing what to say. It was the day of Mac's first dose of chemotherapy, which he had reluctantly accepted as Jeffery had pestered him until he finally gave in. Mac, however really did not see the point of it all, as they did not even have the neccessary donor lined up to cure him of the illness, and they probably never would have.
They both entered the hospital side by side, and walked to the appropriate treatment room side by side. This treatment room, was where Mac was expected to stay for the whole day as they administered the medication. Caroline knew that she would be doing no good by insisting on staying with him, so with a lingering, heart felt kiss on the lips she left him at the door, and agreed to come and visit him in a few hours.
It was now that she had got away that she knew, she could get Guy to help her with something. Something that could make all the difference to Mac's situation. She found Guy lusting over some kind of soft pornography in the staff room, which he speedily threw over his shoulder as he acknowledged her presence.
"Hi Caroline, how are you?" he enquired slightly nervously, (partly because he knew that Mac probably wouldn't be around much longer, and also because she had just walked in on him at a point of slight arousal.)
"Yeh as well as can be expected." she replied, (ignoring the fact that she had obviously walked in on Guy at a point of arousal.)
She knew she had to ask him and get the question out in the open, before she had time to reconsider it, so with the greatest of urgency she said, "Guy, I need you to carry out some tests on me to see if I would be a compatable bone marrow donor for Mac."
***********************************************************
to be continued........

awh!
mac's going to be mad...

aww bless caro
they're so in lurrrrve :wub:

Caroline winced as the sharp needle pierced her skin, Guy saw her expression and apologised; "Sorry Caroline, it's weird taking blood from.. well you know." Caroline nodded in agreement, as she started to wonder what the hell she was doing. Mac would be so angry if he knew what was happening right now, but she just couldn't help herself, she just had to know if she could provide a cure. She winced again as the needle left her arm, and Guy pressed the miniscule wound hard with cotton wool.
"You know you can't tell Mac about this, I don't want him to worry anymore than he has to." Caroline spoke with a certain sense of urgency.
"I know, don't worry about it Caroline, I'll probably be able to speed the sample through the lab, and I'll have the results for you by the day after tommorow." Caroline thanked Guy and left swiftly.
****************************************************
She practically ran to see Mac; she had to see how he was, going through this treatment alone couldn't have been easy. As she reached the treatment room, she slowed down to a walking pace and entered, to find the room empty except for a very pale Mac, sleeping silently. It hit Caroline as soon as she saw him; he looked dreadful, how could he have changed so much in just a matter of hours? She proceeded to sit on the bed, and stroke him gently on the arm. As her arm was outstretched, she noticed the cotton wool that Guy had applied to her forearm, and quickly ripped it off.
His eyes started to flicker as she continued to caress his pale skin, until he gradually opened his eyes. As he opened them he smiled as he saw Caroline. Just seeing her made him feel better he had to admit, but no matter how much he loved Caroline, her presence could not take away the unimaginably painful headache he had, and the severe nausea he felt. He lurched foward to the sick bowl on the bedside table, and was violently ill. He could feel Caroline stroking his hair, as he wretched; he honestly did not know what he'd do without her. As the sickness subsided and he collapsed back onto the uncomfortable hospital bed, he pulled back the cover and prompted for Caroline to climb in next to him. She obediently slid in beside him, and snuggled into his chest.
"I love you" he whispered. Caroline did not respond verbally, instead Mac could feel the dampness of her tears soaking through his hospital gown.
Mac had been informed that he would have to stay in hospital overnight, which depressed him greatly. It was one thing working there, but having to be a patient was a different story. It was probably one of the most humiliating experiences of his life, he knew all of the nurses who had to attend to him. But instead of swooning over him like they usually did, they had grave expressions on their faces as they handed him the highly undignifying hospital gown to wear. Obviously through being a doctor, he knew that chemotherapy would take its toll, but he honestly did not seem to have had the time to himself to think about its effects on him.
Caroline sat up in the bed next to him, which broke him out of his morbid thoughts. He leaned in towards her and kissed her intensly, she was quick to return the favour and they stayed in that passionate embrace for at least fifteen minutes. He broke the kiss and rested his forhead on hers, staring intently into her eyes. "Sorry, I've just made you kiss a sicky mouth." Mac said quietly.
Caroline, remembered this significance but kept it to herself as she knew that it was one of those memories that had been wiped away by the accident.
She instead giggled and said, "I know, I thought I'd give you the benefit of the doubt."
Mac looked into her eyes again, and whispered, "I have to stay here tonight, will you stay here with me."
Caroline silently nodded, and lay back down next to him, and slid her hand into his, as her very frail husband slowly slipped back into a peaceful slumber. She kissed him on the cheek and then proceeded to lye there gazing at him sleeping. She couldn't tell how long she lay there, just looking at her gorgeous man, but she had to. He looked far too ill to just be left alone with no one watching over him. At one point, that evening, a wave of guilt washed over her, as she realised that she perhaps should not have had the test. But then she realised that if she hadn't there really would be no chance of Mac pulling through, and if that happened who would be there to watch over her when she was all alone.
*****************************************************
to be continued.......

Aw please let Caroline be a compatible donor!! This is such a great fic (except for the fact that Mac is so ill :() Please add more soon. Thanks!!

ee i hope Caro is a compatible donar!!
poor mac :cry
more soon please!

awh.

i want her to be a donar, but at the same time not because mac would be sad...

It's all very tense isn't it :o

Awww this is so sweet. i think if caro is compatable mac will be angry but then understand why she did it i hope she is

Ohhhh, this is so upsetting and tense and... *sniffs* Yeah, Mac will be angry when (if) he finds out what Caroline and Guy have done but he will also still be very, very grateful, surely, and it's bound to make their love stronger when he knows what she's prepared to go through for him.

Will this get a bit more cheery soon? It's so horrible reading about such an ill Mac. You write it all superbly, though. I just want everything to be all right, though.

More soon, please!

god im depressed! Less of the upchucking and more of the uplifting please!
Pretty please? :unsure:

awww this is so sweet and so sad i hope caro is suitable!

It was two weeks into Mac's chemotherapy treatment, and he was asleep in bed. Caroline had now become used to coming home from work, and finding him sound asleep; she would often just sit there watching him for minutes at a time, partly to check that he was still breathing etc. but also because she had always found him so adorable when he slept all curled up, lightly snoring. She didn't quite have the heart to wake him just yet, so she got started on dinner. He was finding it quite hard to eat anything too substantial due to the sickness, and his condition had completely made him lose his appetite, so Caroline decided on basic soup and bread for the two of them. As she was waiting for the soup to heat up, she couldn't help but drift off into a sort of dazed state, where she indulged in her own thoughts. It was only the day before yesturday when she had been told her blood test results; she was a match. She just did not know whether she could bring herself to break the news to Mac, she went behind his back, you could almost call it betrayal. That was it, she had to tell Mac about the result, it was either that, or him dying with her wondering for the rest of her life if she could have done something about it.
When dinner was ready, she loaded it all up on a tray, and carried it up to their bedroom. He was still sound asleep, so she gently brushed his golden hair out of his eyes with her fingertips. He stirred, slowly opened his eyes, and smiled as he saw it was Caroline. For some reason the tension between them had melted away, perhaps it was because of the chemotherapy, or maybe it was because Caroline had got the test done anyway. Even so their relationship was much better at this point, and Mac was genuinly delighted to see Caroline back from work. He immediatley sat himself up and kissed her longingly, as she put the tray down the bed.
"I've brought you up some dinner, if you think you can manage it?" Caroline asked in her motherly, slightly breathless tone.
"I'm not sure about the food, but I can sure manage you." Mac said in his stunningly seductive way, as he pulled Caroline onto the bed, and kissed her again, this time with far more passion.
Caroline was slightly taken aback, neither of them had really been in the mood, especially because of how ill Mac had been feeling over the past week. It made a nice change of pace, it's not that she had been craving his body, but now he was offering it to her she suddenly had the urge to snatch it without saying thankyou. But she knew she couldn't, not without telling him about the blood test first; she forced herself to break the kiss.
Mac could tell that something was wrong, she was no longer looking into his eyes longingly; she was staring at the floor, she was starting to cry. Maybe he had come on too strong, he had sort of thought that it would have been a nice diversion to the drepressing situation that they were both in, plus it was the first time in ages that he had felt well enough, and in the mood enough to pleasure his beautiful wife. He took hold of her hand and asked, "Sweetheart, what's the matter, sorry was this....too much for you?"
Caroline could now not take her eyes off the floor as the tears started to roll down her cheeks, "Mac, my bone marrow matches yours, I've had the test eventhough you told me not to. I want to help you." Mac just simply replied, "Oh I see."
************************************************
to be continued.

Well he'll have to let her, if only to stop her crying :)

He has to let her - why wouldnt he? Then it can be a HAPPY ending - pretty please? :hug

Let the poor girl help! Silly ginger man. I do hope it all turns out well in the end :)

Ohhhhhh, come on, Mac, let her go for it! You know it could change everything for you both. :)

I feel so sorry for them both but I'm going to hope that things will start improving v. soon. I want to read a nice happy instalment soon.

Keep up the good work, Kath!

"Please say something." Caroline had been sitting on the bed for at least ten minutes now, as Mac just held his head in his hands. "I'm sorry, we don't have to talk about it again, I was stupid, just forget I ever said anything." Caroline pleaded with him to respond. Finally she got a reply:
"I'm not angry with you, I could never be angry with you. I love you far too much for that ever to happen, I just didn't want you in anyway to do this, because I knew that however much you loved me, and wanted me to get better, there would always be this little voice in my head saying it was because of me that you felt forced into risking your life for me."
"But Mac.." Caroline tried to interupt, but Mac was having none of it.
"And don't say that you wouldn't be risking your life, because I've operated on people who wanted to do exactly what you want to do, and because of some slight complication they have died on the table. I know its rare, but it happens, and I just don't want it to happen to you."
Caroline started to cry for what seemed like the athousandth time that week, she hadn't really understood, why Mac did not want her to go through with the proceedure. But now it seemed obvious, he loved her so much that he couldn't bare the thought of putting her through pain, or risking her life. But this made her even more determinded to go through with it, she loved Mac with every ounce of her body, and did not want to let him just give up his life.
"Look Mac, I really want to do this. You think that I don't know the risks, I am a doctor after all. For god's sake, the risk is tiny and any pain it's going to cause me would be a damn sight less than losing you, and knowing that I actually could have done something to prevent it."
Mac just sat there taking it all in, what if he did accept Caroline as a donor. They could have children, grow old together, have grandchildren even. He finally broke the silence:
"Okay I'll let you as long as I can be there with you in the operating room, and you promise that you will rest up afterwards, and let me take care of you for a change."
He pulled Caroline into an embrace, he could no longer hold back the tears, and nor could she as they just sat on the bed, and cried together.
************************************************************
After the tears subsided, and Mac and Caroline had finally eaten their very cold soup they didn't really know what to do next. It was as if their problems were finally starting to be resolved. Then Mac had an idea, he leant down and whispered into her ear, "Do you want me to make love to you?"
Caroline was slightly taken aback by this question, "Of course, but you do realise you really don't have to ask, we are married after all."
"Don't you remember, it's what you said to me when I was in the coma, just before I woke up. Along with the phrase I want you to do some gardening in my parsley patch." As Mac made this remark he raised he eyebrow, which made Caroline giggle.
"I didn't realise that you remembered anything from when you were in the coma." Caroline asked nervously, hoping that he wouldn't bring up the time when she lay on top of him, and forcibly put his hand on her bottom.
"Bit and pieces are coming back to me, but thats enough talking."
Before Caroline knew it, he had slid his hand under her shirt, and was busy removing her bra. She really had no intentions of discouraging him as this was their first night of passion in a rather long while. It had to be the longest that they had gone without sex since they had got married. Caroline thoughts came to a quick end, as Mac swiftly slid his hand into her trousers, she thought that she should repay this act, by starting to tug at Mac's pyjamas, but he stopped her:
"Let me." He whispered against her neck, as he kissed and gently bit it. She knew that this was his way of thanking her, and he wanted it to be special, he didn't want her to feel obliged to do anything. So she just lay there, in an extremely sexy, submissive way, that Mac just couldn't resist. He wanted her, he had to have her now. At some point his clothes had met the floor, and he was carressing her naked body; she moaned breathlessly which only turned him on more. He positioned himself above her, and looked into her beautiful black eyes, they loved each other so much.
"You ready?" he asked urgently. She couldn't managed comprehensive sentences at this point, so just firmly nodded her head, as he slowly slid into her. He centered himself, and then proceeded to thrust into her at some pace, without breaking contact with her dark, passionate eyes. They were both desperate for each other, this was no time for slow, meaningful love making, they already knew their feelings for each other. This was time for a passionate expression to make it clear how much they really thrived for each others bodies.
By now Caroline had no control, and in between breaths she let out little screams, as the end neared, even Mac could not fully control the situation as he let out a loud, soul shivering moan. Then blackness occured, as Mac held Caroline as if his life depended on it, finally letting his eyes drift closed. Before falling completely asleep, he whispered, "I love you, you know that don't you?" Caroline gently squeezed his hand before they both finally gave in, and fell asleep.
******************************************
to be continued.........

aw he is stil mac, he has accepted her as a donor! its all good, great story

awww aww yay :) love it

:woohoo yay he did the right thing