Mac sighed, his shoulders slumping, and wandered around the corner from Sue’s office. She was right- he probably was being irrational. After all, it could only be a good thing when the donkey faced wanker and the scatterbrained floozy were out of his hair on the same day at the same time, couldn’t it? It should be wonderful that he had the opportunity to sit down and do some paperwork without either of them distracting him. No silly games with Guy, no needing to worry about what Caroline was up to. Not that he ever worried about what she was doing. Really, she was just in the periphery of his life…he barely even noticed she was there. That’s what he kept telling himself, anyway.
So, in conclusion, it was all good. He was delighted that Guy and Caroline were off out somewhere…together…and he had some time to himself. It was all wonderful.
Wonderful.
He sat in the staff room, staring blankly at the papers in front of him as one by one the staff left for the evening, all of them giving him a cheery wave, a smile, a pat on the back. He smiled back, and laughed at their jokes, and didn’t think about Caroline and Guy and whether they were back at Guy’s place now, sharing a bottle of nice wine, maybe a square of chocolate and laughing over some witty anecdote he’d just told her. He definitely didn’t think about the other option; arms and legs tangled around each other and clothes flying, sweat-slick bodies melding together in a frenzy of lips and tongues and hands and fingers exploring.
Nope, Dr Macartney was solely concentrating on the readouts of Mr Jones’ pulmonary output and trying to decide whether his medication should be changed, or whether the dose should be upped. Whether Guy was sinking into Caroline, and whether she did look up pleadingly during intercourse, and shit, he’d made a mistake when he’d been so flippant with her. He liked her. He really, really liked her, and he’d lost the one game he cared about with Guy and let him win. He’d let him win her.
Swearing quietly to himself, he rested his head on the stack of papers and sighed, giving up on pretending to concentrate. Before long his eyes were falling shut, the downside of working late several nights in a row, and he didn’t have the energy to wake himself up and drive home. Sighing again, he slid sideways until he was curled up on the line of comfy chairs and let himself sleep.
He was in theatre, and for a second it was just like it had always been. Guy stood above the patient, focussing as he occasionally did on the vital signs and readouts. There was no sound except for the gentle rasp of the patient’s breathing and the beep of the machines.
There was a scalpel in his hand, but for some reason he couldn’t begin the incision. His stomach clenched painfully as Guy met his eyes over the body.
“Well? What are you waiting for?”
Mac shrugged, looking down at the form beneath him. Suddenly the covers twitched, and Guy yelped as a hand reached out, groping silently, trying to pluck something out of the air.
“What the f*ck?” he asked, completely confused, “Didn’t you knock her out?”
Guy didn’t reply, busy trying to force the hand back under the covers, but as he did so the other arm broke free as well, grabbing around. In that moment Mac knew he couldn’t do this – he’d have to explain to the woman what had happened or she’d probably sue them for psychological damage. Ignoring Guy’s protests he pulled the cover back and dropped it, stunned, as a familiar face gazed up at him.
“Mac?”
“Caroline? What the hell?”
“Are you okay Mac?”
He reeled backwards, shocked into silence as her face blurred before him, Guy’s face blurred, and the ground wavered underneath him.
“Mac? Mac!”
“Mac!”
He jerked back into consciousness, his mouth dry and eyes aching. It took him a second to adjust to his surroundings, and then he jumped when he realised someone was sat next to him.
“Woah. Shit. Sorry. Am I still dreaming?”
Caroline looked up at the ceiling and around the room, leaning in conspiratorially.
“Nope, I think you’re awake.”
Pause.
“Um, Mac, why are you still at the hospital?”
He shrugged, still a bit dazed from his dream and his rapid awakening.
“How was your afternoon?” he asked, trying to keep any emotion out of his voice, “Did you have fun with Guy?”
Shit. That was too obvious, and Caroline raised an eyebrow, shifting away and moving over to the sink.
“He’s got very…unusual taste in music” she said evenly, and Mac couldn’t quite suppress a burst of laughter.
“Did you get the Elton John or the Queen?”
“Both” she said, and her tone of voice was enough to crease him up.
“Christ, Caroline, I’m sorry. It must have been a hard afternoon for you.”
He knew that he should get up now, make his excuses and go home, and not think about her. Caring about someone was going to get him hurt, just like it had with Holly. There was nothing good that was going to come out of a relationship – wasn’t that why he’d turned down that physiotherapist who asked him for a drink earlier? But despite his wonderful logic he couldn’t find it in him to shift.
“Yeah” she said casually, pouring tea into two mugs, “I don’t think it’s an experience I’ll be repeating anytime soon.”
Something inside Mac began jumping up and down, pumping the air with its fists and shrieking “f*ck you, Swiss-boy” but he managed to keep the external response to a smile and a ‘thank-you’ as she handed him a mug of tea, milk and no sugar, just the way he liked it.
“So…what are you doing here so late?”
Mac shrugged, and tilted his head at the stack of papers on the desk.
“Thought I’d catch up on some of the wards, check the meds, that sort of thing. What are you doing back here?”
She gave him a long look and he wondered if she was going to ask why he hadn’t taken the files home, but instead she held up her bag.
“Left it in my locker.”
He nodded and took a gulp of his tea, humming appreciatively.
“Mac?”
He looked up at her inquisitively, absolutely not getting distracted by the way the low lighting of the staff room played on the creases of her face, her eyes shining in the light and her hair falling over one cheekbone.
“You could have taken the files home, couldn’t you?”
He leaned back and closed his eyes and wondered what to say. Caroline was silent.
“Yeah” he said honestly, “Yeah, I could.”
She was still silent, and he could feel her eyes on him. He was still trying to find the words, and decide whether he wanted to use them, when she took a breath.
“Sue White told me that you weren’t very happy. Something along the lines of I’m not allowed to ever be off duty at the same time as Guy or I’ll meet a sticky end.”
He winced.
“Yeah. Well, you know what Sue White’s like.”
There was a long pause, slightly awkward this time, and he forced himself upright.
“Look – maybe I was being selfish. Maybe I didn’t want you to be gone with Guy.”
It was hard to tell who was more shocked by that statement, and Caroline spun around so quickly she almost gave herself whiplash.
“You what?”
He was frustrated now, tired and angry with Guy for always getting in first.
“I didn’t want him to have you, okay? I…”
She was still staring at him, looking like a rabbit in the headlights.
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Oh, that would be a fun conversation, wouldn’t it?” he snapped rhetorically, launching himself to his feet, “’Oh actually, Caroline, it’s not okay for you to go off with Guy because I want you for myself!’ That’s always a winner, isn’t it?”
She was up on her feet now, hands on her hips.
“Well it would be better than letting me waste an entire afternoon of my life just because you’re too bloody scared of showing your emotions! How can you be like this, Mac? You kiss me and then you deny all knowledge and tell me it was a mistake and then a few days later you’re sulking because I go out with someone else?”
“Excuse me, you were the one pissed out of her skull and you were the one who said she didn’t even like me!”
“And it didn’t occur to you that I might have been doing that to avoid the humiliation when you told me you didn’t like me?”
There was a long pause as they stood staring at each other. The blood was pounding so loudly in Mac’s ears that he could hardly hear anything except his own rasping breath. He swallowed, knowing he should lower his voice and say something apologetic and try to talk things through, but he didn’t know how to. He felt raw from his honesty.
“I…” he started, and hung his head, “I’m…”
f*ck this.
He stepped forward in one motion and covered her mouth with his, feeling the tension and strain ebb away even as his muscles tightened in preparation for her pulling back and slapping him. But it didn’t happen – she relaxed into his chest, her lips opening underneath him as his arms wrapped around her slender shoulders, pulling her close. He lost track of how long they stood there before she dropped down half an inch, breaking the kiss.
“Sorry” she said a bit breathlessly, her chest still pressed against his, “I was standing on tiptoe and my foot started cramping.”
He smiled, muffling a laugh, and stroked her hair back with his hand.
“Absolutely understandable, Dr Todd.”
“Mac…” she pulled back and his heart sank, “I don’t want to be some bet between you and Guy.”
Well, he hadn’t been expecting that. Anger welled up in his chest, sour, before he paused to consider how it must have looked to her.
“Remember the first time we met?” he asked, moving forwards and resting a hand on the side of her head, “And you asked me if I was any relation to Ringo?”
She laughed and nodded.
“Well, that was the moment when I decided I wanted you. I was just a bit of an idiot in not conveying that to you. I don’t think Guy knows how much I like you either, he just likes a challenge. But I can promise you, hand over heart, that you’re not some bet, ‘kay?”
She nodded, looking abashed. Deciding that explaining everything would be too long and difficult, he leaned again and kissed her, and she moved in closer again, her hands tangling in his hair as their bodies pressed together and she could feel how turned on he was. Her back arched involuntarily as he nipped her lower lip and he sighed into her mouth, one hand sliding underneath her shirt and stroking the smooth skin above her hip.
Caroline pulled away breathlessly, her eyes glazed, and had to blink to focus.
“I think I’m going to die if you make me wait any longer” she said, her tone slightly desperate, and Mac was torn between being good and taking her back to his or being bad and staying in the staff room. Suddenly a compromise occurred to him and he grabbed her hand.
“This way” he said in a voice that was husky with lust, and she followed him eagerly through to the locker room, where he shut the door behind them and rolled down the blinds. Behind him, Caroline reached up to press light kisses down his neck, nipping and sucking gently until his hands were tingling with the sensation and he could barely walk in a straight line.
Trying to orientate himself, he turned around and kissed her again, insistently and passionately, and backed her up against the lockers. Her fingers were massaging his scalp involuntarily and he had to bite back a moan of pleasure as she pressed her hips against his, creating friction and sending shivers up his spine. Unable to resist, he slid his hands up her back, fumbling for a second with her bra strap, and then pulled her top over her head. She stood in the moonlight looking oddly bashful, but he couldn’t stop himself from holding her at arm’s distance and taking her in.
“You’re beautiful” he breathed, and then wondered if that sounded too corny, but the flush rising on her cheeks didn’t indicate that. Still, she squirmed and he moved in again, running his hands over the soft skin of her back while she worked on the buttons of his shirt, her fingernails scraping at his chest every so often in a way that wasn’t entirely accidental and made his breath huff out of him involuntarily.
“Are you okay with this?” he breathed, minutes later, as her head was pressed against his neck, sweat beading on her forehead as his fingers worked on her and she moaned quietly, her breath hot against his skin.
“Yes”
He toyed with the idea of teasing her more, checking again, but then she ground her hips up against his and he changed his mind quickly.
They both stilled for a second as he pushed into her, and her hands tightened around his shoulders as her head rocked back and she sighed heavily, her breath tickling his neck agonisingly.
He ran his hands down her torso, lingering on her hardened nipples until she squirmed and tightened around him, making incoherent whimpering noises in the back of her throat and kissing him with a fervour that took his breath away and closed off his motor functions so that he couldn’t register the room around them, the moonlight casting a glow off Caroline’s bare shoulders, the clothes scattered on the floor. All he could focus on was the feel of her skin against his hands, the swell of her breasts pressing into his chest, the tickle of her hair on his neck and the beat of her heart against his chest.
He came silently and with a shudder, clinging onto her like a lifeline as his legs almost gave way beneath him. Trembling, pressing shaky kisses to each other, they slid down the wall and curled around each other in a tangle of arms and legs.
When he’d regained the power of coherent though, Mac gave a quiet laugh and Caroline looked up inquisitively, her eyes half lidded still.
“I can’t believe we just did that in a hospital” she said with a hint of a smile, taking the words out of his mouth, “I’m sure there’s rules against that.”
He nodded, still grinning.
“Quite probably. Just lucky that I locked the door behind us, isn’t it.”
She grinned sleepily and nuzzled into his arm. Obligingly he wrapped it around her and pressed a kiss to her shoulder.
“I was thinking” he said, in a voice that wanted to be casual but didn’t quite make it, “If you wanted…we could go to that new Lebanese restaurant sometime.”
She looked up at him.
“Are you asking me out, Dr Macartney?”
He raised an eyebrow.
“That entirely depends on whether you’re going to say yes or no.”
She tipped her head to one side and put a finger on his chin, pulling him into a deep and sensual kiss that raised his pulse again and he responded eagerly before she pulled away.
“Clear enough for you?”
He considered that for a second and shook his head.
“I think you’re going to have to make it plainer, Dr Todd.”
It was a good half hour before they pulled away from each other, and Mac sighed happily.
“So that’s a yes to the meal then?”
“Only if I get dessert at yours”
“Done” he said, flooded with relief, and kissed her again. She murmured something sleepily into his arm and he folded his body around hers, skin on skin, touching as much of her as he physically could.
Sod winning games with Guy, he thought. I’m winning at life right now.
Checking that she was comfortable, he let his eyelids drift shut with a smile playing across his face as he fell asleep.
**************************
The End