''A Little Blue''

Well here I am
undone again
I know I'll see you
I just don't know when
Little stars
all a-twinkling
I wonder where you are
I wonder what you're thinking


The room was dark and dingy, dim light shinning through the small glass window alive with condensation.
The shower tap cuts off, leaving the room with a loud silence of nothingness.
The shower door slides open, and she tip toes out on to the cold tiles, wrapping the stiff towel tightly around her body, her pale skin glowing with droplets, glisening with her every movement as she ruffled her wet hair with a small towel.
Pushing down the handle of the door she eased it open with her knee.
The cold air, sharp against her skin, hits her quickly. Unfased she scurries to the warm glow comming from the bed room.
She huddled on the ground next to the radiator, staring up at the empty bed, the emotions this room hold so intense in her own mind.
How had it all come down to this loneliness, this feeling of pain, that hit her chest so hard each day, when she opened her eyes.
Her small body, so vulnerable, shock with grief.....


I know I gave my heart a little soon
I walk for miles underneath the moon
I'll sing this sad lonesome little tune
For you

Oh no...this is gonna be a sad one isn't it? Is the showering woman Caroline? Beautiful writing as well

Yay. Great writing Jess! More please

awww is this gonna be a sad fic :(

you write so well jessex! i love it - in a sad way of course...

Ros i dont know if you have noticed so early but im using songs by The Be Good Tanyas!

The Littlest Bird

Well I love you so dearly I love you so clearly
Wake you up in the mornin' so early
Just to tell you I got the wanderin' blues
I got the wanderin' blues
And i'm gonna quit these ramblin' ways one of
these days soon
And I'll sing

..... She hopped out of the shower, flicking her hair forward and rubbing it with the warm towel that had previously been laying on the radiator, then quickly pushed the door open and stood, appriciativly as the cold air wrapped its self around her bare skin, tiggling and raising goosebumps over every inch of her.
She sat on the white sheets, and began to peel the Banana. She had put it there earlier along with a plate and knife.
She put the peeled fruit on the plate and balanced it on her thigh as she sliced it into small pieces. She savoured the flavour of the soft fruit, she knew it was one of his favorites, she could see why, the texture, soft, slightly grainy, as she chewed it quickly becomes more liquid and the gentle bananary flavour covering every taste bud.

to be honest no i didn't notice but if you started with the littlest birds then i would have :lol:

but yay i love it - jessex is writing fics again yay :D

Hmm i have been writting all week!! Three years from now, when spring became summer, just not many people noticed!! :lol:

i noticed! but you still need to send me more of 3 years from now - post it on the tamsin forums so i can read it :lol:

The Coo Coo Bird
Oh the cuckoo she's a pretty bird
She warbles as she flies
She never hollers coo coo till the fourth day
of July

The clock bleeped 7.29am, he would be going in at 8.45, which gave her enough time to be ready.
She opened the top draw, reveiling a new set of clothes, laying them out on the bed, she cut the tags off her new lacey black knickers and bra. Smiling to herself as she pulled them up her thighs.
She pulled her stocking from its cardboard sleeve, taking her time and carefully slidding them up her slender legs, standing to admire her body, turning back to the bed, she quickly cut the tags from her grey skirt and blazer.
Smoothing down the black shirt, she took one last look in the mirror, her hair was dry, and with a spritz of perfume she was ready to leave.....

..... She watched as the automatic doors flew open, followed by a gust of air and some stray leaves. She gasped as the golden mane caught her eye, she looked him over, her eyes in awe of every part of him. She felt jealous by just looking at the metallic grey helmet held firmly beneaths his arm.
He didn't look happy. In fact he wore a definiate frown on his face. She backed around the corner, her head pooked around the corner to get a final look, before proceeding to walk along the busy corridor while swaying her arms dangerously.....

Oh the cuckoo she's a pretty bird
How I wish she was mine
She never drinks water she only drinks wine

The way that was set out, I read it sort of quickly and thought it said 'standing to admire her body stocking'...does anyone else do that? or is that just me?

I love the prose, it's prettiful :)

Only in the past

colours streak the sky
we laugh and we cry
and we dance in the cool grass
with the fireflies
we dance in the cool grass


Sitting on her desk swinging her legs back and forth, smiling aimlessly to herself, fairy wings on her back, sparkling red shoes on her feet, tiara balanced on her head and a silver sequined wand, she was happy, and as far as she was concerned her plan didnt have any flaws, she could act normal, and with The Plodd out the way, he could show his true feelings.
There was a nervous knock at the door
'Busy' She shouted
The door opened and Martin pushed his flustered head through the gap 'I erm, need to change my personal details, i've moved, here here's my new address and number' he said placing a piece of paper on the ground
'Wait, wait, come, come come'
As he stumbled forward she patted him on the head with her wang 'Ding'
'Ow! What was that?'
'Nothing' she said shaking her head, she smiled 'Make a wish! Quick' as she flickered her fingers at him glitter flew at him, catching in his hair and on his eye lashes, he began to blick furiously 'Fairy dust'...........

sunset birds
sweet sweet music
swallow our words
you set sail and you left this town
run away run away you're so far from me now
so far from me now

Can I turn up the heat
What star am I circling
What's circling me
Now my ebb and my flow

.....After spinning around for several endless minutes, Sue stopped the chair as she placed her feet firmly on the ground.
Her head swoooshed to the side, and she tried to focus her eyes, taking a step forward her legs gave way and she crashed to the ground, her office door opened, Boyce stood staring as her head made contact with the carpet, her arse pointing in the air.
'Sue?'
There was a gurgle, muffled through the carpet

*A few minutes later*
Boyce had propt Sue in her chair.
She still felt dizzy, and her head was hurting.
Boyce kindly handed her a bottle of water, and began to pop pain killers out of their silver foiled homes. She tilted her head back and swallowed them, closing her eyes, she felt for the small lump on her head
'f*ck' she shouted as her fingers reached the spot
'Shhhh'
'Oh f*ck' she shout again realising the scedual for her plan was going out of the window and if she wasn't careful she would lose it
'Mind your language' Boyce said his voice comming out louder than he had expected
Sue ran in a sort of stummble toward the window and grabbed the laminated cardboard as it fell, her body flew forward, she felt her body hault, and she crashed into the side of the building
'Ive got you' Boyce shouted to her as he began to pull her back up
She knocked on the window and waved to get Caroline's attention, Sue pointed at her eyes and back at Caroline, mouthing Im watching you 'Okay bring me back up'

My lack of control
Turning on
Turning off
Saying yes
but playing no

You know from the way you've written it, that could so easily be me!!

I love it Jess, just as I love all your fics, it's beautifully written and suspenceful!

For The Turnstiles
You can really
learn a lot that way
It will change you
in the middle of the day.

Tapping wildly at the keyboard. Sue brought up Mac medical file, and looked wide eyed at the screen, as if it had happen on accident, when she had actually sopent the last hour hacking into the system.
She banged her nail against the screen, and the dull light emitting out of the screen got brighter instantly.
His first name wasn't at all of what she had expected it to be. She had imagined it to be more angelic "Gaberiel" but not..
'Francis, francis, Fr-an-c-is' She said aloud trying it out in different tones to see how it rolled off her tongue.
As she scrolled down taking in all of the medical garble, something registered in her head, something wasn't right....

Though your confidence
may be shattered,
It doesn't matter.

*Okay well i can't actually wait for people to read this cos im in a reading mood..and well no one seems to be updating so i need to write*

"Dog song"
the birds did cry, and so did i
to think of life so lonely
and in their song, heard it long
what sadness, and what beauty

......Her head pounding furiously. She opened her mouth ready to let out a gut renching scream, but not a sound, as though it was caged in her body.
She swept her long fingers beneath her eyes hoping it would stop the tears from falling, instead leaving streaks of smoky eyeliner beneath them.
Her body shock as she gasped for air through her tears. She tried to comfort herself with simple words, only to have low groans and sobs leave her throat.
Not knowing what to do or how to control herself any longer, she banged her arms against the desk, kicking the chair back as she stood. She glared at the glowing computer screen before throwing it to the ground.
The door creaked open, as she smashed the keyboard into the side of the desk, slowly she sat on the ground.....

aww I love this jessex it rules poor sue bless her cotton socks :lol:

"Don't You Fall"
I've been so long confused
Was I loved or was I used?

slowly she sat on the ground.....

..... Matting her hair with her hand she began to pull at it, as she sobbed, only to find herself being restricted and lifted on to her feet. She felt someone open her hand and she open her eyes to see a key from the keyboard in the palm of her hand, it was an M.
She looked up to see Dr Macartney, his eyes raw with tears, he pushed her against the desk, grabbing her thigh and under right arm, he pulled her up on to the hard wooden desk.
A sudden feeling fo breathlessness took over her, her heart began to beat furiously. His eyes looked like nothing she had ever seen in him before, they were so full of pain, need, and something else, maybe..lust.

Now the sun goes up and down
And the weather rains and shines
I lost my heart somewhere
Oh I need to take more time

He kissed her urgently, pressing his lips against hers, she pushed him away from her and looked away, with her eyes shut tight.
'I know' he whispered, looking back at his blue eyes, he seemed like a little boy, lost. She stroked the side of his check, her lip trembling.
'Are you sure?' she mumbled as her hands found his soft hair, he didnt answer simply blinked several times as a tear dropped down on to her cheek, she gasped, not wanting it to be true. She pulled him back down to her so his lips meet hers, an urgent connection in an unfamiliar terriortory.....

Don't you fall in love with me
Don't show me your affection
I can't give you what you want from me

"Hello Love"
I felt empty, I felt bare
I really thought that I could not care
All the leaves are soaking wet
How succulent a little spring day gets

All those feelings he had felt for another, had seemed so intense like nothing before, but it was nothing like he felt now, with Sue he had always put it down to fear, but now his own feelings were opening up and telling him the truth.
He grabbed the shoulder of her blazer and pulled it down her back, taking the cuffs of the blazer he free'd her arms.
She reached under his scrubs, running her hands up his chest. Her palm caught his nipple and he let out a low moan. She pulled the green fabric over his head and allowed it to fall to the ground.
As she lent up to his body, she kissed his arm gently, her hands tracing the out line of his back. Her tongue flickered over his nipple, the muscles in his back tensed and released, she enjoyed the reaction this caused so tickled her tongue, making the same contraction of muscles.

If you kiss me once
Out here in the rain
We’ll go back and start all over again
So lift up every voice and sing
Sing to the tree tops
And everything
Say hello love

Noooooo ...................... :sob Mac can't turn to Sue just for s*x. He needs to come to his senses :angry:

I do like the bit when she falls off her chair :)

I loves it Jess! Very Smexy

:excited yes smut smut smut - I love you jess :wub: that was hot!

"When Doves Cry"
Dig if you will the picture
Of you and I engaged in a kiss
The sweat of your body covers me
Can you my darling

His hands searched up her hips, over her stomach, ribs. He pulled the button between her breasts, quickly untucking the shirt, he pulled at each button until the shirt was open and he could see her. He lifted her up, pulling her into his body, as he disguarded the shirt from her, laying her back down, he unclipped her bra. His hand nervously reached for her breast, as she untied the string of his scrub bottoms, his cold hand meet her warm breast.
She sat up pushing her body into his, with a fustraited tug his scrubs fell down his leg.
She smiled at him as he climbed back on to the desk, kissing her neck, while unbuckling the small belt on her skirt, as the zip came to a stop, he pulled the skirt down her legs quickly, to find stockings on her legs hiding them, he slowly pulled them down her legs, running his hands back up them, as his lips came to meet hers.
Her heart danced in her chest as he slowly took his time in taking off her lacey black knickers, he kept his eyes locked on hers, as they went further down her legs until they were no longer in contact with her body. He smiled looking down on her naked body, he laid soft butterfly kissed along her collar bone, as he realised that in this moment it was properly the happiest he had felt, and he was more than content that it was with her.

Can you picture this?
Dream if you can a courtyard
An ocean of violets in bloom
Animals strike curious poses
They feel the heat
The heat between me and you

"I Wish My Baby Was Born"
Oh i'm not no saint, no i never shall be
til the sweet apple grows on a sour apple tree
still i hope that the day will come
when you and i will walk as one.

Weeks, months had passed by so quickly.
He still looked healthy.
She was the one with messy hair, puffy skin, sore eye's, smelling of sick as she sat on the titled floor of his bathroom, throwing up the dinner he had cooked the night before.
She could hear "Francis's" foot steps, he knelt beside her gently rubbing her back in soothing circles, as she sipped from the glasss of water he had brought her.
Flushing the toilet she stood up, wobbled slightly and smiled "I think your cooking is getting worse!"
"My cooking, i'm great in the kitchen, i could have been a cheif, if it wasn't for me being such an amazing surgeon"
"I know, maybe, well, you never know it could be that i'm" She touched her stomach.
Mac's mouth fell open, then quickly turned into a smile "A baby?"
"Yes!" She said excitedly "Your going to have a baby"
"We're going to have a Baby" He corrected her, and pulled her into a hug, softly kissing her lips.


I wish i wish my baby was born
sittin on her papa's knee

aww they are going to have a baby awwww :wub: i love it jessex!

And what am I supposed to do?
There are too many of you
Too many of you

Give some change, look you in the eye
Say that I too am human, I could easily be you
Easily be you

As the bump grew, everything seemed to fall into place....

There wedding was perfect, a simple little marriage in a small church with only the people they cared for most, the one's who mattered. Planned in a few days, but it couldnt have been much more perfect, pretty flowers, beautiful clothes, a couple in united in love.

....Mac remained as healthy as he had ever been, everything really seemed to be going okay, Six months had past since he was given the life destroying news, which more than anything, had put his life on the right track and he was still here, living on borrowed time.
But right now he was here, in her bed, holdng his wife and feeling their unborn child kick.
"I like the name Lilly, you know ifs he a girl, and Joseph for a boy, what do you think" he whispered into his ear
She blinked heavily "Yeah, yeah there, i like them" She said turning over on her side and cuddling into his chest "Their perfect"


Don't we all hover between apathy and compassion
Fill up all our days with so much distraction
Makes it easier to see what we don't want to

But we all live here
We all live here
We all live here don't we?

aww that's so cute :wub: i don't want mac to die i'm hoping that he won't (but somehow i fear you will kill him) :(

anyway I can't wait for more now jessie!

Well I love you so dearly
I love you so fearlessly
Wake you up in the mornin' so early
Just to tell you I got the wanderin' blues
I got the wanderin' blues
And I don't wanna leave you
I love you through and through

"Mac, mac, wake up" She nudged him in the ribs.
"Its the middle of the night, i'm not in the mood."
"For god sake, Get up!" She pulled the covers back and Mac automatically curled up into a ball, holding his bare legs under his chin.
"Its cold" He mumbled.
"Its time" Sue said trying to hide terror and excitment "Agrh!" She held on to her stomach "If you don't get up, i swear to god, i'll bite you so hard, now up, up, its time."
"For what?" He said getting up and picking the covers up, he stopped and starred at Sue for a moment "The, the" he closed his eyes, and dropped the cover "The baby" he ran to the cupboard "Oh god, come on then get up, you can't sleep at a time like this"

I don't care if the sun don't shine
I don't care if nothin' is mine
I don't care if I'm nervous with you
I'll do my lovin' in the wintertime

"Ootischenia"
Too young to keep these bitter hearts
And all around me, somebody's singin’,
Get back, get back,
Long hair comin’ down her shoulders
She is tired, and feeling so much older
So tear the pages from the family bible
It came down upon the women for survival


.....He carried her into the hospital, with the help of Guy he got her into the wheel chair.
Guy yawned as he and Caroline followed him into the lift. Sue's contractions were becoming more frequant, and the elavator began to rise. Guy wrapped his arm around Caroline's waist, whispering into her ear reasuringly, Sue screamed and groaned again.
There was a sudden shudder and the lights went out, soon replaced by the dim lights powered by the back up generator.
Guy picked up the phone "Hi, Hellooo, anyone. Were in the south lift and its sto.."
Mac snatched the phone away from him "My wife is in labour, so hurry up!".....


It came down upon the women for survival
I wasn't meanin’ nothing at all,
You stop me if I get it wrong,
I think I'm hearin’ somebody sayin’
I'm gonna spank ya till you can't sit down

"Broken telephone"

Broken telephone
The lines are down
The wires no longer reaching
Connection's gone

After several hours of praying for the lift to start moving, it soon became clear that the baby wasn't going to wait, not for Heaven or Hell.

Mac nodded at Guy who was sat in the corner opposite them stroking Caroline's belly calmingly, knowing it was only a matter of week before there first child would be on it way.

Higher and higher
I am taken by what you've given to me
Higher and higher
I am taken by what you've given to me
What you've given to me

Mac sat with Sue between his legs, holding her hands and whispering encouragigly into her ear. She let out a piercing scream as she pushed with all the energy that remained within her.
She stopped, breathing heavily, and to her relief heard the cry of their new born child...

I'll be the wind in your leaves
The warmth of the sun
I'm always drawing your colours
I'm always tracing your footsteps

I just read the whole thing of this and love it to bits!! It's so happy (even though I am generally a Caromac shipper) and I love that it's the four of them stuck in a lift while Sue's baby's being born and that Sue and Caroline are pregnant at the same time...is Mac REALLY dying?! :( Love the writing

Aww! Congratualtions! Boy or girl i wonder..

"A Little Blues"
Little patch of grass
under the overpass
I'll rest for hours
amid the flowers

"A girl, You've got a little girl" Caroline smiled, watching as she wriggled her little arms as Guy wrapped her up in his blazer.

Mac sat with his daughter in his arms "Hello Lily, I'm your daddy" he said sobbing as his child reached out it's tiny hands, touching his lip, he smiled even more. His little Lily knew who he was.
"She's beautiful" Guy said softly, patting his best friends shoulder.

Just a tiny bird
With a little song
And when the sun comes up
I'll be long gone.