Seeing as there is so little chance of a series 3 or any more Green Wing of any sort ever again (:cry :sob :cry :sob ), it makes our job as fanfic writers all the more important, right? Therefore, I hereby declare the beginning of the rest of Green Wing (as written by me and not the professionals but, er, well, that’ll have to do for now) starts here.

I haven't yet read any fic that's been posted since the special was broadcast so I don't know if anyone's already doing this but I've been itching to get started on this since I saw the special so I couldn't wait any longer. If mine's too similar to anyone else's, I apologise and will take it in a different direction then.




SCENE 1. EXT/INT. MAIN ENTRANCE – DAY 1 [08:50]

MARTIN GETS OFF HIS SCOOTER AND WALKS INTO THE HOSPITAL, BUMPING INTO TWO PEOPLE ON THE WAY AND DROPPING HIS HELMET EACH TIME. HE SCRATCHES HIS BUM AND GOES OVER TO A NEARBY NOTICEBOARD, WHICH HE STARTS TO STUDY CLOSELY, SQUINTING HIS EYES A LITTLE.

BOYCE AND KIM ENTER THROUGH THE MAIN DOORS. BOYCE LOOKS EXTREMELY SOLEMN. KIM HAS HER ARM ROUND HIS WAIST. SHE LEADS HIM OVER TO THE NOTICEBOARD AND POINTS AT THE MAP BESIDE IT. MARTIN GLANCES AT BOYCE, WHO IS STARING AT HIS FEET AS HE STANDS BEHIND KIM.

MARTIN: Is that Boyce?

KIM: How long have you known him now, Martin?

MARTIN: Well, it’s just, you know, it doesn’t look quite like him.

KIM: I don’t think it is him.

MAC AND CAROLINE WALK PAST. THEY’RE ARM IN ARM AND SMILING INTO EACH OTHER’S EYES. MARTIN’S ATTENTION IS IMMEDIATELY DRAWN TO CAROLINE AND HIS FACE SMILES A DREAMY SMILE AS HE WATCHES HER. CAROLINE THEN BUMPS INTO THE DOOR. MARTIN MANAGES TO TAKE HIS GAZE OFF HER AND TRIES TO GO BACK TO KIM AND BOYCE BUT KAREN WALKS IN IN A BUSINESSWOMAN’S SUIT AND STILETTO HEELS AND HIS ATTENTION IS EVEN MORE DRAWN TO HER THAN IT WAS TO CAROLINE. HE STANDS WITH HIS MOUTH GAPING OPEN. KIM SLAPS HIM UNDER THE CHIN TO CLOSE HIS MOUTH AND LEADS BOYCE OFF WITH HER.

Hooray! You're doing another fic! Love the start!

i second that lol tis brill !! keepm going please :)

ooo i like! more plz

oooh nice start!
:D

Ooh this sounds awesome! Hell, it's by you, it must be! :worship2

awwww Boycie...

*huggles*

I'm assuming this is 19, as in the special was episode 18?

Aww, ty, SF. :blush

Yep, PR, this is episode 19 because the special was episode 18. :)

Thank you to everyone who's commented so far. I hope you enjoy this second instalment.




SCENE 2. EXT. A FIELD WITH A SOLITARY DISUSED SHED – DAY 1 [08:50]

ESTABLISHING SHOT.

A COCK CROWS IN THE DISTANCE.



SCENE 3. INT. A DILAPIDATED SHED – DAY 1 [08:50]

ALAN AND JOANNA ARE WAKING UP WEARILY ON TOP OF A HAYSTACK. JOANNA REACHES OUT WITH HER ARM BUT NOTHING IS THERE.

JOANNA: Oh, God, I still can’t get used to the lack of f*cking fags.

ALAN: Well, you, you know, essentials only is what we agreed, my sweet. I, I, I don’t mind commmmmmitting robbery for survival but we can’t go around doing good honest shop-keeping citizens out of, out of, of, of, of…

JOANNA: Oh, shut up, will you. Survival? Survival? We were meant to have been dead three weeks ago!

ALAN: Right, well, well, I’m not stopping you! Off you go and, and, and do yourself in!

JOANNA: Right. You… you coming?

ALAN: Not just… not just yet.

THERE IS AN AIR OF FEAR THAT THEY BOTH SHARE. PAUSE.

JOANNA: You girl.

Brilliant Alan and Joanna scene! You write the characters really well. I'm so looking forward to the rest of this fic! :D

Ooh! I love it so far!

Hooray. I love fics which read as a proper GW episode.

Joanna reaching out for fags and the "we were meant to be dead three weeks ago" bits made me :lol:

i really like this piece of fanfiction and i will return to read more hopefully

:lol:

I love this Simba!

Thanks, everyone. Your comments really made me smile. :hug

I'll try to do some more at the weekend.

:D so glad youre writing more fics LS!!! your fics always rock and i love reading them!!!!! :notworthy

*sits down eagerly and glues eyes to computer screen till vision goes blurry*

I love this, I love it I love it. (Sorry, I know that wasn't a proper comment, but it's true.)
*sets up camp in the fic to wait for more*

*waits in camp*
:lol:

woo hoo!!!
So Absolutely Fabulous...

can't wait for more...

Aww, wow, thanks, everyone. Your wait is appreciated and will now be rewarded (as long as you think this is worth the wait, that is :unsure: ).




SCENE 4. INT. DOCTOR’S TEA ROOM – DAY 1 [08:55]

GUY IS MAKING A COFFEE AT THE WORKTOP. CAROLINE AND MAC CAN BE HEARD LAUGHING IN THE DISTANCE. GUY’S EYES WIDEN AND HE GOES TO SIT IN A CHAIR. MAC AND CAROLINE ENTER. THEY KISS PASSIONATELY AND CAROLINE HEADS OFF TO THE LOCKER ROOM. MAC SITS IN A CHAIR NEAR GUY. PAUSE.

GUY: So (AS IF IT DOESN’T SOUND RIGHT) How… are… you?

MAC: Fine, yeah, not bad, you?

GUY: You’ve come into work for another week, then?

MAC: Yeah, well, no reason why not.

GUY: Right, yeah. Good.

PAUSE.

GUY: Nowhere near keeling over just yet, then?

MAC: Not just yet, no. I’m really fine. Not a problem. Thanks for asking, though.

GUY: What are friends for?

MAC: OK?

GUY: Yeah, cool.

MAC GETS UP AND BEGINS TO WALK AWAY.

GUY: It’s just that…

MAC COMES BACK.

MAC: Sorry, what? Did you say something?

GUY: No, no.

MAC EXITS.

GUY: It’s just that I’m achingly desperate to screw your wife.

GUY FLOPS OVER THE CHAIR ARM AND WHINGES CHILDISHLY. CAROLINE WALKS PAST.

CAROLINE: Morning.

GUY: (STOPPING WHINGING) Morning.

PAUSE. GUY STARTS WHINGING AGAIN.

:lol:
brilliant.
more please! :D

:roflmao aww guy - he rocks i love this can't wait for more :notworthy :notworthy

:notworthy LOVE this! I can see it really being in GW.

haah AAwwww i love this already i love how its written!!!!

Are we getting more of this soon?

Pretty please?

Yep, here you go, Bingle. :) I’m not happy with this scene but it’s q. important so, er, here it is.

Thank you so much to everyone who’s commented so far. Your comments never fail to make me smile, particularly Red's one about imagining this actually happening in GW. :D




SCENE 5. INT. DILAPIDATED SHED – DAY 1 [09:10]

JOANNA IS CURLED UP ON THE HAY TRYING TO SLEEP. ALAN IS LYING OVER HER, LICKING HER NECK AND NIBBLING IT.

JOANNA: Piss off, Alan; unless you’re going to kill yourself, I’m not interested in you at the moment.

ALAN: But the sausage dog is in hot pursuit of the pussycat.

JOANNA: Shut up.

ALAN GOES QUIET AND LOOKS UP.

JOANNA: Bloody hell, you’ve done as I’ve asked! Are you feeling all right?

ALAN: Shh!! Un… unless my ears de-de-deceive me, that was the shrill cry of a jay in the distance.

JOANNA ROLLS OVER AND ALAN STARTS STROKING HER BREAST.

JOANNA: For God’s sake, I am not in the mood, hornithologist!

ALAN: Oh, now, come, come on, that’s what you’ve said every day for the pppppppast four days!

JOANNA: Yeah, well, sometimes I’m just not. Yes, even me; now bugger off.

ALAN: Oh, oh, right, O-O-O-K, I think I see. Your little four-weekly visitor has made its appearance, has it? Well, yes, I, I, I, I suppose it would have done by now. Do you want some devices of the sanitary nature?

JOANNA: Yeah, I’d like to see you go and buy some… well, nick some obviously. You wouldn’t be embarrassed at all, would you?

ALAN LOOKS AROUND SHIFTILY.

JOANNA: Anyway, if you must know – no, it isn’t that; I just feel sick again this morning. I have done every morning lately for some reason. Maybe it’s the thought of spending the rest of my days cooped up in a barn with a foul-smelling consultant with now not only the worst moustache in the world but a bloody beard to match.

JOANNA ROLLS OVER AGAIN TO SLEEP. ALAN IS QUIET.

ALAN: (QUIETLY) Fine but, but, but I thought it must have been your t-t-t-time by now.

JOANNA: No.

ALAN PICKS UP A PIECE OF HAY AND FIDDLES WITH IT, THEN LOOKS UP SUDDENLY, WITH WIDENED EYES.

ALAN: Oh, oh, oooooooh, my f*cking f*cky f*cksie!!

ALAN ROLLS JOANNA OVER. SHE IS NOW FALLING ASLEEP. HE PULLS HER TOP UP AND LAYS HIS HAND ON HER TUMMY AND FEELS AROUND.

JOANNA: (SLEEPILY) Oh, all right but just try not to wake me up.

JOANNA STARTS SNORING. ALAN STANDS UP. PAUSE. HE LEAPS IN THE AIR IN EXCITEMENT, THEN PICKS UP HANDFULS OF HAY AND STARTS THROWING THEM AROUND THE SHED, JIGGING ABOUT ECSTATICALLY. JOANNA CONTINUES SLEEPING.

ha ha!
:P
hes realised, she hasnt!
:lol:

aww! so cute! ickly baby stathams ahoy :D

:lol: LOVE this! The way you write Statham and Joanna is perfect - I really can see it being in GW. Especially this part:

:roflmao

:lol:
brilliant!!
love it!

Ohhh my god!! Yay!! there going to have a baby! *join in with hay throwing* oooooo ekk there going to be a baby.....Why am i so excited about this?....Actually i dont think they should be parents would you want alan as your father!! haha :lol:

:roflmao this is excellent writing, especially guy and statham its just like them. hehe you should have been on the writing team for greenwing :P

:D :D Thanks, people! I love reading all your comments; you're all so sweet. :blush I'm glad some people seem to be enjoying this fic.

Here's the next part, which I dedicate to hippy_tosspot for saying

SCENE 6. INT. OFFICE – DAY 1 – [09.30]

THE OFFICE IS REASONABLY TIDY BUT NOT PERFECT.

KAREN IS SITTING IN HER SWIVEL CHAIR, SPINNING ROUND AND FILING HER NAILS. RACHEL ENTERS AND GOES OVER TO HER WITH A TRAY WITH A MUG ON AND A PLATE OF BISCUITS.

RACHEL: There you go. We’ve run out of Bourbons, I’m afraid. I know you like them so, er, do you want me to go out and buy some more?

KAREN: Yeah, please.

RACHEL GRABS HER COAT AND STARTS PUTTING IT ON.

KAREN: Oh and get me a couple of bars of Turkish Delight while you’re about it, will you?

RACHEL HEADS OFF AND BUMPS STRAIGHT INTO HARRIET AND HER BUMP AS SHE COMES IN.

HARRIET & RACHEL: Oh, God, sorry!

RACHEL: Harriet, what are you doing coming in now?

HARRIET: Yes, I know but half an hour isn’t all that late and now I’m the boss it doesn’t really matter what time I get in any more.

HARRIET SMILES AND GOES TOWARDS THE DOOR OF WHAT WAS JOANNA’S OFFICE.

RACHEL: No, I mean what are you doing coming in at all now? Your maternity leave starts today. Don’t you remember the little leaving do we had for you on Friday?

HARRIET: Ah, um…

RACHEL: Harriet, I know you’re up to your eyes with your hundred kids but have you ever thought about having some sort of professional memory therapy?

HARRIET: Ah, no, no, I didn’t forget all that. It’s just that I… I sort of forgot… forgot to tell anyone else about my maternity leave so there isn’t anyone to cover for me. (LAUGHS) Looks like I’m going to have to come in every day until I actually give birth. Such a nuisance, I know but…

LYNDON: Morning, er, problem with the database access on the Head of HR’s computer?

HARRIET: Yes, that’s right. Come in, Lyndon.

LYNDON AND HARRIET SMILE AT EACH OTHER AND HARRIET LEADS LYNDON INTO HER OFFICE, CLOSING THE DOOR BEHIND THEM BOTH AND THEN QUICKLY SHUTTING THE BLINDS.

Aw that adorable!!
Harriet and lyndon are like the cutter joanna and statham

jessex you beat me to it! I was going to stay that! :lol:

anyway, what was I saying :blink:

yeah i love karen and harriet it's soo brilliantly written!

much more of this fic is needed!

:notworthy :notworthy

aww bless lyndon and harriet! :D

Aww, thanks for commenting, people. I don't know when I'll have chance to update this but I'm hoping it won't be a ridiculously long time. Bear with me.

SCENE 7. INT. LOCKER ROOM – DAY 1 [10:00]

MAC AND CAROLINE ARE SITTING TOGETHER, LINKING FINGERS AND CHATTING HAPPILY. GUY AND MARTIN ENTER TOGETHER.

MARTIN: It just I’m not sure whether to, like, be honest with her and tell her I regret the way I was or whether it’d be best to just forget about the past and…

GUY: You want my advice?

MARTIN: Well, I don’t know, it’s just…

GUY: Of course you want my advice, Martin; who wouldn’t?

MAC AND CAROLINE KISS AND SLOWLY RUB THEIR HANDS DOWN EACH OTHER’S BACKS. GUY AND MARTIN BOTH STOP AND STARE, JEALOUSLY.

MARTIN: Well, not everyone needs it, do they?

GUY PUSHES MARTIN IN THE FACE, KNOCKING HIM HARD AGAINST A LOCKER. GUY THEN GRABS A WHITE COAT AND WALKS OUT. MAC AND CAROLINE STOP AND LOOK TO SEE WHAT THE CRASH WAS.

MARTIN: (CALLING AFTER GUY) Right, well, thanks for your help, Guy. I’ll do as you suggested. Go and talk to her, right? Yeah, I will do. Thanks! You’ve really given me the confidence to do it.

MARTIN TURNS TO MAC AND CAROLINE.

MARTIN: I’m so lucky to have a brother like that. Keeps me believing in myself, you know?

MARTIN EXITS, GRIPPING HIS ARM IN PAIN. MAC AND CAROLINE LOOK AT EACH OTHER.

CAROLINE: Is it just me or does Guy seem even worse lately?

MAC: Would that be possible?

CAROLINE: Well, he doesn’t seem quite himself.

MAC LOOKS TOWARDS WHERE THE INCIDENT BETWEEN GUY AND MARTIN HAS JUST TAKEN PLACE.

MAC: He’s keeping it well hidden, isn’t he?

CAROLINE: What was he like when you told him?

MAC: Er… told him what exactly?

CAROLINE: That you… (PAUSE) Don’t tell me you haven’t told him?

MAC: No, no, that, yeah, I told him last week and he was delighted. Ecstatically happy.

CAROLINE SMILES AT MAC AND TAKES HIS HAND AGAIN.

MAC: But then that’s Martin for you. I knew how happy Martin would be.

CAROLINE: (DROPPING MAC’S HAND) For God’s sake, how can you do this?

MAC: What?

CAROLINE: Go on letting our best friend think that you’re… when you’re not. Poor Guy.

MAC: Hey, you can tell him if you want to. I’ve gotta dash to do ward round so, er, I’ll leave it in your very capable hands, Mrs Macartney. Have fun!

MAC KISSES CAROLINE’S HAND AND EXITS.

CAROLINE: Oh… shit.

:roflmao Superb! So very very Guy-like!

Hehe I love it, especially the way its written like a script :) Please update more soon!

Remember me? I know I’ve hardly posted for weeks and I do hang my head in shame about that but I’m still trying to be around as much as I can be. Starting a course doesn’t help because it makes you realise Green Wing isn’t the most important thing in life, after all and that’s a hard thing to get your head round. LOL Anyway, I’ve watched the special a few times lately and it’s got me itching to do more fics. I keep getting ideas for new ones but I tell myself it’s no good starting yet more when I’ve already got four I haven’t yet finished so I thought I’d grab a few minutes to update this one. Sorry it’s taken me so long. I hope someone’s still interested in reading.

Speaking of which, would anyone want me to get back to my older unfinished fics and carry on with/finish them? I don’t know why I’ve got such a desperate urge to do GW fanfic atm but I have. I think I’ll have a read of some other people’s in a min, though. :D :D




SCENE 8. INT. JAKE’S CLINIC ROOM – DAY 1 [10.10]

BOYCE IS CURLED UP ON HIS SIDE ON THE COUCH, FACING AWAY FROM JAKE, WHO IS SITTING AT HIS DESK, IDLY BUT RHYTHMICALLY PUSHING THE TOP OF HIS PEN IN AND OUT ON A PILE OF PAPERS. HE STOPS AND SLIDES HIS CHAIR SLIGHTLY NEARER TO BOYCE.

JAKE: OK, you’ve been in here just over an hour and you’ve said nearly two words in that time. It is QUITE tricky for me to get much of a picture of what’s troubling you so is time to bring in… Oh, God, what’s the name?

BOYCE: Alan?

JAKE: No… Kim, that’s it.

JAKE OPENS THE DOOR AND KIM WALKS IN, SLAPS BOYCE ON THE BUM AND SITS IN A CHAIR NEAR JAKE.



SCENE 9. INT. SUE WHITE’S OFFICE – DAY 1 [10.20]

THE OFFICE IS A TIP WITH CARDBOARD BOXES STREWN ABOUT THE PLACE AND SUE IS THROWING THINGS ACROSS THE ROOM TO LAND IN ANY OF THEM AT RANDOM. GUY WALKS IN AND IS HIT BY A PAIR OF SHOES SHE THROWS.

GUY: Ow!! Bloody hell!! You moving out of here or something? Oh, my God, don’t tell me they gave you Joanna’s job! What twats are in charge of this hospital?

SUE: Your mummy’s job? No, the twats, as you, for the first time in your life, rightly say, gave it to the Schu- (THROWS ANOTHER SHOE ACROSS THE ROOM) –lenberg. God knows how they think she could possibly be better than me. I mean, she only knows how to deal with people under the age of nine. Anyway, no, seeing as you want to stick your nose in, I can tell you I’m just sorting out some stuff for moving house. Moving in with Jeremy, you see?

GUY: What did he do to deserve that?

SUE DUMPS HER SWIVEL CHAIR ON TOP OF ONE OF THE BOXES.

SUE: What do you want? I’m a busy woman.

GUY GOES TO SIT IN A CHAIR BUT SUE PULLS IT AWAY FROM UNDER HIM JUST BEFORE HE CAN SIT ON IT AND PILES IT ON TOP OF ANOTHER BOX.

SUE: Saves us buying new furniture. These match so I reckon they’d be good in his lounge. Oh, God, the blind!

SUE GOES TO THE WINDOW AND STARTS TAKING THE BLIND DOWN.

GUY: Right, well, I’ve got a problem.

SUE: Everyone knows that.

GUY: Do you think you could keep your mouth closed and just listen? Just for once.

SUE SIGHS HEAVILY, TURNS ROUND AND PLONKS HERSELF ON THE DESK. SHE GLANCES AT HER WATCH AND LOOKS AT GUY, WAITING FOR HIM TO CONTINUE.

GUY: I… I’m still in love with Caroline.

PAUSE.

GUY: What, you’re not going to laugh or anything?

SUE SHRUGS HER SHOULDERS AND SHAKES HER HEAD.

GUY: (SLIGHTLY UNCOMFORTABLY) And… well, I’ve sort of… lost my sex drive because of it.

GUY STARES AT SUE, EXPECTING SOMETHING BUT SHE DOESN’T REACT AT ALL.

GUY: Since she married Mac, I’ve had five hot babes round at my place but when it’s come to you know what, I… I couldn’t…

SUE SAYS AND DOES NOTHING.

GUY: It’s driving me f*cking insane!!!! I’m not used to not getting some action at least four times a week…

SUE STILL REMAINS SILENT, LISTENING.

GUY: I can’t take it anymore and your job’s to help the staff when they need it, right?

SUE NODS.

GUY: So… (UNDOES HIS TROUSERS) will you help me with my problem?

SUE STILL REACTS IN NO REAL WAY OTHER THAN TO LEAN BACK, CROSS HER LEGS AND SCRATCH HER HEAD. PAUSE. THEY STARE AT EACH OTHER FOR A FEW MOMENTS, THEN SUE ROLLS HER EYES, DRAGS HERSELF UP AND PLANTS HER LIPS FIRMLY ON GUY’S.

GUY: Yeah, all right, don’t bother with that bit. I’ve got to be in surgery in half an hour so just get on with it, will you? Cut to the chase, for God’s sake.

GUY FOLDS HIS ARMS AND STANDS LOOKING IMPATIENT.