The automatic doors of the hospital opened as they did on every day. This morning they revealed a short, teenage red head. Although she was quite short, her hair added a good two inches to her hight. She glanced nervously around the room, looking the the workers gossiping, not helping patients. The girl moved gingerly over to the reseption desk. As she was so busy looking around, she crashed into a doctor, who previously before the crash had just had a mountenous tower of folders blanced apon his arm.
" Oh my god I am so sorry! " the girl cried as her face grew as red as her hair.
" Don't worry, I;m doing it all the time. Well...most days really." The girl laughed nervously, showing several pearly white teeth.
"I'ts Martin by the way, and you are?"
"Ella" She paused and reddened."I'm sorry but I got told... well my mum told me there was a Paul Mac... or something like that working here. Don't spose' u know him do you." She stopped and started to twist her hair round nervously."I'm sorry Martin I shouldn't have come. Sorry, ermmm..." The girl ran off toward the door. "Wait... Who ever you are! I can find him!"
"No, Don't worry."
"Look. Just stay here. And don't talk to any Scottish women" And with that Martin ran off. The girl stood there bewildered and wondered what she had got her self in for.

*sorry there hasn't been any Mac, Guy or Caro yet but there will be soon.*

for a second there i thought Martin was gonna get some lovin!

but gosh! mac has a daughter?! with holly?!?!

how i hate that woman!


welcome to the forum btw! nice to see another swiss lover :D

Is it Mac's daughter?

Welcome to the forum swissluvagirl!

Oh a new fic! YAY, HEAVEN ON EARTH... have loads of Guy in it, he rocks, luv it so far!

welcome to the forum and looks lke a good start

now please say you're a caromac..........

is it mac... is it guy's or is it Stathems.... u will have to wait and c. I'm glad u like it and more will be coming soon. I will say sadly Martin will be getting no loving in this stor :(

*be Statham's, BE STATHAM'S!!!!* Go on, u know u want to!!
Welcome by the way! :D

awwww :(


well... martin will always have me ;)

post more soon!

I love Stathem but god help his kiddie! Ok heres the next installment. I should let all u ppl know I am sick when writing and I can't talk or sing. Which saddens me. Green Wing is my only outlet. Enjoy!
********************************************************************
Martin ran up and down the hospital wards. After a few minutes of speed, he paused out sid Sue White's office. He hesitated and knocked. Ever since joining the hostpital, he had always been a little scared of the mad Scott. Waiting for the period out side Sue's office caused Martin to think of the incidents that if anyone elce had done, he would have got a restraining order. He did not htink having a life-sized-penis-enlarged-centerd-portrait of himself hanging on her office wall was what would be called normal.Then again, most people in the hospital wern't what would be called normal.

Sue's call of "ENTER... IF YOU DARE!"shouted with a large megaphone, which caused an unaware Martin to jump a foot above the floor, but as he entered into the office he repeated this mosion. Around Sue's neck was a six foot boa constricted, and Martin could sware the snake was looking at him. Martin stood in the door way shivering.
"Well are you gonna fucking come in or not!"
"Er yeah but... did you know " he gestured to the snake.
"What. Well?"
"I think your friend wants to eat me quite soon"
"Is that all? Or are you going to drop your panties and let me say hello to wee willie winky?" As Sue moved her eyes down to Martin's crotch, he moved his hands over it protectivly.
"Probably not today.But I do have this problem. There's this girl. Well she's not a propper girl, well she is but she's not my girl friend and..."
"Get on with it you fucking prick!"
"FIINE!" Martin wined" She wants to find Mac. And she won't tell me whoy. And she has red hair. And... And she knocked my folders over"
"Sorry Martin can I just stop you there. I'm bored. Stop babbling you great babby and go and find Docter Macartney!" And with a terrified glimpce of the snake Martin left. Sue took two mobiles from her desk and repeatedly vibrated them on the boa's back. Then she voiced the snake. "ohhh you like that snakey...yes you do... it makes you go tingly in side. Just like mummy when she sees that frais blonde every day. " she sied and started to cry.

*******************************************************************

Martin was feeling restless. After an hour of searching he found Mac deep in convosation with Guy.
"Right." Mac started " What would you rather; spend a night with Pete Burns including full anal sex or a threesome with Jodi Marsh and Jan Leeming?"
"Do I get paid?" Guy was frowning but he knew he could win this. He always did.
" Sure. Five hundred quid for both"
"Is food and booze included?"
"Yeah. Well only with Pete. He can affored it"
" well then I'll go with the Gorilla boy then..."
"Well thats a new one... Bad pictures in my mind"

"WAIT MAC!" Martin cried. He was having to do alot of chasing today.He should win a medal. Yeah a big shiny gold medal. That would be cool.

After overhearing a disterbing convosation he had come over all shakey and his thoughts had wondered to unpleastent things. Why did he always have to be in the wrong places.
"MAC" as Mac tured, Martin had a strange feeling of de ja vous."A girls looking for you . Well her Mum has sent her. Please I need you to come with me now. "
" I don't no mate. Last time someone's mum was looking for me I ws in biiig trouble." But as soon as Mac took one look and Martins vole like face, he aggreed.
As they walked off Mac felt an impending sence of dread...

*bit long winded but hope ya'll like it. Have fun in life!*

:lol: :lol: oh dear that made me laugh!

:excited can't wait for more

haha :lol:

and oh my what if it was Statham's?!
that would be very odd :blink:

*ok people. heres the next bit. Its quite discriptive but I promice there will be more soon. Am still ill so have more time no write woop! :knockout :yeeay . have fun reading!*

The girl had found a row of seats to sit on. Admittedly they were not the most comfortable in the world but sitting on hard plastic beat standing with hundreds of crazy sick people buzzing around you like bees with a hunny pot. She had always found that she liked hospitals that she couldn't put her finger on. Maybe that the sheer brains of people could heal others, or that everyone knew what to do and when to do it. She had never had that. At home she was constantly yelled at.It was always;
"Ella get you ass down here!" or "Ella are you so fucking stupid you couldn't even do that one thing?" The constant shouting made her one of the jumpiest people she knew. At school the other girls teased her for being a cry baby. For having red hair. For being short. For having donkey teeth. It was non stop at home and at school, and she was sick. Sometimes at night she lay thinking of ways to get out of this world of hatred.

Glancing around the busy waiting room, she rememberd the one time she had to go to hospital. Though her mother told the doctors the fell down the stairs, it was her that had pushed Ella down in the first place. Altough Ella was hurting, she couldn't work out her mothers behaviour when walking into the hospital. She became like a little girl. Giggling when the doctorscame over to talk to her. Wispering to herself. Asking the doctors if her 'poor little baby' would be seeing any sergons today. Later when she questioned her mother, the responce Ella got was one which had become normal: a slap and a stern warning "Don't ask anymore fucking questions you little slag" The trouble was Ella knew she needed help but she had none... She loved her mum so much and hated her with a passion at the same time. It made no sence.

While Ella was sitting on the hard plastic seats, she touched a bruse on her cheek tentitivly and winced. Looking up she saw Martin and a tall blonde docter. She began to cry.

********************************************************************

Martin, Mac and Ella had been in the waiting room for an hour. Ella's tears had just subsided and she was ready to speek.
"Are you Mac? Only you look different in the photo."
"Last time I checked." He looked himself up and down, grinning."Yep, still Mac. Sorry can I just ask. What photo." Ella reached into her pocket. Hands shacking, and turned over a frame. " Shit." as Mac glanced down at the photo, his eyes widened. Himself and Guy stood together, both looking as pissed as the other, with a blonde haired woman, looking stragely similar to Holly Hawk.

*to be continued. Get your brains working round that one. I will write soon. But now my brain must rest. :excited *

awww poor ella!!

has holly turned into an evil crazy bitch?

hold on - SHE ALREADY IS ONE!!!

the "donkey teeth" thing reminded me of Guy though...

hmmm....


can't wait for more!!

I was thinking Macs daughter but donkey teeth... hmmm, Guy? I hope there'll be loads more Guy too though, Guy is cool... (goes into daydream)

Oh how we all luuuuv guy. He brings almost no sunshine into peoples lives but stil we go on luving him.
Watching Confetti 2day renewed my love. *drools and joins teamsecretan in daydream. tricks him into falling in luv.* but everyone loves the gorgous mac.... oh the lovers choice...
And swiss boy lover holly is a total bitch. *Stabs holly * :ooherr take that bitch

Will write more soon. Keep thinking. xxxswissluvagirlxxxx

:o

Holly's so cruel to her kids!

How did she manage to have two secret kids? :lol:

More, please!

oooh this is interesting!
more please! :lol:

DAMN STRAIGHT!!!!

*starts satanic chanting*

words can't explain the anger that built inside of me watching series 2 for the first time!

more sooooon pleeeeaaase

"Sorry can I just get someting strait. You..."
"Ella. My name is Ella."
"So Ella, you are Holly's daughter."
"Uhuh. Im'm really sorry docter Macartney but I don't think your the right man."
"The right man for?... being a top lion tamer, Hitler's assitant, your father, the creater of all man kind as we know it. What. What am I not the right man for?"
"The third one" Ella's cheeks reddened to match her hair.
"Oh I see!" Mac clapped his hands. Laughing in a slightly hysterical and very uncharacterisitic way, he shouted. "So your Holly's daughter. It all makes sence now!Sou you Ella, If that really is your name" Martinthought he sounded more like Sue now Well minus the Scottish accent. And the amazingly long arms. And the boa constricter... Really Mac wasn't like Sue at all. "So you Ella."Mac continued to shout. "Can go back to your God forsaken mother and tell her to f*ck OFF!" Mac's face was now touching Ella's nose. She started to cry and he took a step back. "Shit Ella. I am so sorry Idon't know what I'm saying. Shhh. Its not your falt."combing his hair with his hands, he came down to her level."Hey come on. Just answer this. Have you died you hair that colour?"
"What do you think?" She was laughing now. This guy wasn't that bad. "You know whats weird. The test resutlts said your my dad but you look nothing like the 'Guy' in the picture. My mum has been pretting weird about this." absent mindedly Ella tentetivly touched the bruise on her cheek. Mac's eyes widened but he said nothing. "She never let me ask about you. I always wanted a dad, but she said 'men are all fuckers you stupid cow. Don't you forget that." But then the other day she just said. "Find Dr Macartney. and that was the last I heard. I've learnt not to ask questions..."
"Martin can you give us a minute?" As Martin walkedtowards the door he felt confused How was it possible for Mac to have a kid. He thought that small boy was his. Nobody told him anyting. He left to find Karen. Marting was feeling tired from the sex last night. It was getting violent. Well from Karen anyway. He needed to find some strength. To the canteen!

"Ella how can I be your dad? I mean addmitedly I selpt with your mum alot by only once unprotected. And even then we were pissed of our heads and..."
"Sorry Doctor Macartney but I really don't need to know the deatails."
"Sorry. And please call me Mac."
"But from what my mum told me, thetest results came out positvie. You are definititly my dad. She wouldn't tell me any more. "
"Shit. I need to tlak to your mum..; can you take me to your house or somting?"
" I don't want to go home!" Ella said.; It came our louder that she had ment."
"Why?" he was getting worried. Ella's scard expression and bruised face were setting off alarm bells in his head. This dadish feelings were coming quicker than expected.
"Just don't." She shrugged and turned away. She couldn't tell him now. She couldn't tell anyone now. If she did nobody would want her.
"Fine. Just tell me were it is. Let me find someone for you to stay with.

*and cue mr Guy! yay*waves swiss flags* not much comedy but i needed to get the drama and get you thinking. Everyone hates holly. bibi have fun reading!* :cookie have some food!*

YAY GUY, i love him, he rocks, (has mini Guy daydream, then slaps self for weakness)

ohh i like this, very different!! poor ella, ohh i dont like the idea of holly being violent!!!

*Yay. We must kill the evil holly. :ooherr demon is back! Anyways folks heres the next bit. Enjoy!*

As Mac and Ella left the busy waiting room, they walked side by side, both unsure of what was to come. The hospital was as noisy as ever, but the silence beetween them was strangely comforting. Mac glaced around for a topic of convosation when they passed Dr Alan Stathem. Mac steered Ella over to the other side of the corridor, but notising this Stathem swished him coat and sideled over grinning.
"G g goood morning docter Macartney or should I say g g good morrow I trust you are well?"
"You trust I am well? I very much doubt that."
"Oh b b but I do.It is only in polite convosation that one speaks..."
"Ah so you don't speak in normal convosation is essentialy what your saying"
"You.. you y y you Docter Macartney are rather the imbisil"
"I'm quite the what?" To this remark Statham just shook his head and muttered under his breath; " Bloody fuckering fucksie fucker fuckwit"
"Well Dr Statham If what you said was what I thought you said then I think you should leave now."he paused and took a deep breath."this is my daughter." Ella's eyes widened.
"Your what?!" Dr Stathams eyes where popping out of his skull by now. This was by far his best comeback. It sickened him. The stupid pooey fucksie
"LIAR!!!!!!!!!!!!" Alan screeched and ran down the corridor.
"WEll thats one less peroson to tell.."Mac laughed.
" Mac, is it just me or is that Doctor slightly crazy?"
"We like to think so yeah."
"Please don't make me stay with him today ok."
"That depends. Should I want to cause you any mental or possibly physial pane, thats when I shall send you to him. Not today though. Come on. Lets go find you someone fairly sane"

*yay father and daughter happiness. or is it. find out next time. bye bye :cookie have some more cookies and get high on SUGAR now!! :cookie

Yay, love it, very in character!

tee hee! love it!

aww let them be happy!! i like happiness!

*Yay more fanfic! And I like happyness too. But not to much in a story. He we go!
enjoy :lol: *



“And on your left is the anaesthetist room” Mac said, imitating a voice of an air line pilot. Ella giggled and they pushed open the door find the oddly disturbing sight of Guy’s tongue licking the teeth of Caroline Todd. Although months ago this sight would have filled him with jealousy but he had to control that now. Guy and Caroline were married and he had been Guy’s best man. He had decided to not let a woman take over his life, sure he wasn’t always happy about it but nothing in life was the ideal and there was nothing he could do to change that.
“Calling all donkeys!” Mac yelled through his hands. “Please step away from your mate and evacuate the building.”
“Oh ha-ha Ginger nuts what do you want?”
“I have come for a favour oh Swiss one.”
“From me? Oh ginger balls. I’m touched but I am already in love.” Guy wiped mock tears from his eyes.”
“ As much as I would love to see you in a wedding dress and look at your beautified donkey face at the alter that is not why I have come.”
“Boys.” This banter happened far to regularly for her liking and more than once had ended with broken noses. Well Guy’s… “ Mac, just a small thing, who is this young lady by your side?” She couldn’t work it out. Surely she wasn’t a patient but the girl looked vaguely familiar. Was she a patient?
“ This is my…”
“Come on Macintosh spit it out.” Guy jeered. He regongnised the girl as well. She was quite pretty. Apart from the hair. Good teeth.
“She’s my daughter”
“Ohhhhh f*ck of Mac. ” cried Guy. Ella looked up at Mac pleadingly.
“Why do people keep saying that?” Ella asked.” Doctor Macar… sorry. I mean Mac. If it’s not too much then I don’t mind just sitting in the waiting room.” Well it was better than going home. This was so embarrassing she thought. They didn’t want her. Nobody did. After Mac had talked to her mum he wouldn’t even want her. But then he did something she didn’t expect. Mac came down to her level and gave her a warm hug. He whispered. “Are you gonna be ok? There not too bad really. I mean the one that looks like the donkey from Shreck is a bit of a moron but the woman is nice. Her names Caroline and if Guy says anything about your hair just tell her and she will sort him out.” Ella looked at him. “ no really. She has freakish upper body strength” Mac pulled away from the hug and smiled. He walked over to Caroline and said “ I will explain later but right now just make sure she is happy ok?”
“Of course.” She whispered. “ Mac what is her name!”
“Ella, this is Caroline. And that’s Guy. Do not be afraid. They come in peace. Ok I’ll be back later after I’ve seen your mum.”
“Why can’t you just call her?” asked Caroline. Thoughts of what was wrong filled her head. Was her mum dieing.
“Some things just can’t be said over the phone.”
“|Ohh deep.” Chimed in Guy. Taking a look at the girl he smiled. He couldn’t help feel sorry for her. She had a large bruise on her cheek. Well if it was Mnac’s kid then probably got into a fight. And lost. Or drew….
“Right of you go. Give my regards to Mr G Inger at Gingerisem reunited.”
To Caroline and Ella Mac staged whispered “You’d think after all these years he would realise I’m not actually giner. I’m Frais-Blonde” Caroline smiled and Ella touched her hair. She was getting a bit worried about spending a day with this man. Still she could be with Statham…
“HA! Not giner my scrotam! Now off you pop giner boy!.”
“Ella are you sure your going to be ok. I mean the Swiss can be dangerous.”
“I think so…” Mac gave her one last quick hug.
“Ahh fatherly love. Now piss off!”


*Yay GUY :thud dies in eternal love!*

i love it! its amazing

YAY, GUY, very witty comments, keep the posts coming! :notworthy :P

:lol: love it!

aww i love guy!

keep this fic coming

this is brilliant!!!!! :notworthy look forward to reading more

:cookie Yay for Mac and Guyness! Thanks for your comments they make me feel smushy inside :cookie :blush :cookie :cookie take all the cookies i own. hope you like them there tripple choc. *Goes into Guy/SM trance*xxxthanx agen xxxx slg

It's MONICA!! :lol:

Loving this, awesome banter between the boys.

*ohh how we all luv the banter. And yay monica and FRIENDS! this is a bit short. More macintosh soon xxx!*

Stepping on his prized bike, Mac took a deep sigh. What had just happened in the last two hours had been one of the most surreal experience of his life He had gained a daughter not knowing why. Obviously knew how but how could he not know about this No, how could Holly not tell him about this. Driving the familiar route to her house, Mac wondered what had possessed him to leave his new found daughter with his supposed best friend. He had given Guy all the amo he would need to tare here apart. She was fucking ginger! Admittedly she was no frais-blonde. At least he could rely on Caroline. Well most of the time.

**********************************************************************
Ella was wrong to be scared. Caroline was so welcoming and had been so nice to her. She talked to her about being a surgeon and how she could get there. They took her into the operating theatre and let her watch them work. For once there was moderate quiet as the head of department was taking Mac’s place. When he went to fetch his equipment Guy started showing off juggling the trays, and he managed to reach the grand total of one tray before dropping them on the patients know.
“Well thank God for me eh?” Ella giggled. She was pretty happy to find out her dad did this to. Really the surgeons were the pilots of the whole hospital operation. When she took this up with Guy later, they ended up having a fierce arm wrestle to settle it. Ella won.
“Let me tell you something Ella, your father is the most rubbishest ginger surgeon ever!”
“I bet you’re a worse donkey like anaesthetist. And fyi, if I become a surgeon, I am gonna be a kickass ginger surgeon. Better than you could ever do!” Ella came back with. Guy was starting to really get on with Ella. She wasn’t afraid to slate him, and was pretty funny for a kid. Even though she was quite shy at first she was becoming more and more lively by the minute. When Guy made the very accidental dig about her flaming red hair in a convocation about getting lost in London.
“ Well with that hair you don’t need to worry about getting lost. Any fucking tosser could find you” he yelled. “ Shit sorry. I’m just so used to having one ginger ass around and. Oh shit!”
“Guy I think you should leave” Caroline said coldly. How could he be so insensitive, this kid could have had something awful happened to her, and judging by her bruises she already had. She hated Guy sometimes. But to her surprise Ella retorted
“Oh I think I’ll be ok Caroline. It can’t be easy for him to carry those eye brows around all day. I don’t ever want to think about what happens down below”
Guy was determined to keep a strait face but he did allow him self to do a very convincing ‘shoe tying.’ To cover up his laughter… Damn he was wearing Velcro. Why the f*ck did he buy Velcro?. Caroline was having no such luck not laughing. She hugged and kissed Ella before being attracted by a furious call from her pager.

After Caroline left Guy took Ella round the hospital.
“Morning Doctor Secratan” Joanna said grudgingly while passing them in the call.
“ Good Mum! Oh fucking hell!”
“f*ck off Guy” She shouted and she stalked off. Ironically that is what had happened 2 years ago.
“Do many people like you then?” Ella said angelically
“No… Well yeah but well she is technically my mum”
“So your own mum doesn’t like you and calls you Doctor Secratan. I thought it would be more like your full name, she looks like the type.”
“Look do you ever shut up. She doesn’t like me because” He was looking uncomfortable and looked at the floor.
“She doesn’t like you because you didn’t know you were related and you shagged her because you thought she was easy and you could get anyone”
“f*ck me ginger. How the fucking hell did you know that?!”
“My friend Alex did the same. But he got genital warts and he was so traumatised that he took a vow of celibacy. Didn’t get his mum pregnant though cause she was infertile…”
“Shame. Ah well…he could become gay…”
“No not Alex. He’s homophobic.”
“Whatever Ginger. Hasn’t stopped me with Caro. I mean I get it goooood!”
“Too much info Guy.” As they walked into the doctor’s mess Guy ran to his locker
“Check out my new Top miler!”
“Your What miler?!”

**tries to find rules to Guyball* ach well. sorry for any spelling mistakes :badger follow the bager for advise from how to loose your cookie fat! Bye Bye have fun and happy reading!*

:lol: i loved the velcro thing!!!

question: how old is Ella meant to be?

loving this :worship2

yeah i was wondering this cause i'm a bit lost when it comes to the age thingy???

but i adore this fic it's wonderful :D

aww i like!! very sweet and fun!!

Luv it, it rocks, i'm glad Guy and Ella are getting on!

hee hee Ella rules!!

I love the banter

Holy is an evil bitch!!!!!

*hey guys more fun for you. Loving your heart warming posts. :cheer2 horray to you!*

"Ok said Guy, rock paper sissors. Winner takes all. And by all I mean the best spoon. On three. One... Two.... Seven!" Ella ignored and went anyway"
"Ha!" they both cheered
"What do you think your laughing at ginger brain? You lost. I had seven. Eat my tits"
"There were so many things wrong with what you just said." She smiled, Guys face fell. He could never suss her out she was just too damn smart. "One I hope you don't have any tits, and if you do I wouldn't put my mouth too near at risk of catching something deadly. Second you said at the count of three. You said three numbers. So haha hairy mary. You LOOSE!"
"f*ck me if you wern't Macintoch's daughter..." he shook his fist and then grinned. "Ha but I'm bigger than you. Well a lot bigger than you so I win." He ran and grabbed the dessert spoon."
"Fine Guy you wanna play it like that." She licked her lips."Then I..." She ran out of the room.

*I no it's not a lot but more will come later. Cya*

aww, love it *insert more original heart warming comment here*. Keep it coming! :notworthy

this is very funny.

I want to know how old Ella is as well?