I've often thought, and it's been discussed a bit here, how many lines there are that, in themselves, aren't funny but the way the actor/actress says them is just hysterical (e.g. "These are supposed to have been washed!") so I thought I'd start a thread for all those quotes which aren't funny when written but the delivery of them is hilarious!

bann-ed has to be one of them.

and "is the wee party bothering you martin?"

and "what about the wee beeern?!"

and of course "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" at the auction lol

lol most of sue's lines actually.

'not now yuo twat'

'a hoody'

and of course:

'i break into farms at night and rescue pigs. I do! I do rescue them!'

I always thought it was the way she said it more than the actualy line.

pretty much all of sue white's lines like "I can do headstands now would you like to see that?"

oh and when martin says "i need to buy some coooothes"

i was reading the script book last night and thinking just the same thing....
u forget sometimes they r just given the lines and they all make them their own
its great heehee

"Have I got any meetings this afternoon?" :lol:
I think nearly all the lines could go in here - the cast really do a brilliant job at delivering them.

'have you finished with your DAMN FOOL questions?'
:lol:

"would you say i'm looming now?"

I keep thinking of more:
In Martin and Joanna's conversation near the end of Epsiode 8 (S2), the way Karl delivers his line in the "On the ..." "sauce" exchange is perfect. I love how understanding he sounds.
Joanna with the seedlings: "I'm going to eat them" - sounds like nothing on paper, but the way she says it is genius.
Just about all of Mark Heap's lines. One of my favourites is when he's trying to make Lyndon do the tug of war: "Get up now, get up for the tig of war, get up, get up, get up". :lol:

"Bird songs of Northern Europe..." and of course the Carrier Pidgeon poem!

The 3 little fishes song! With the strategically placed pauses!

That scene with Statham and Harriet where he tries to kiss her and she refuses "I look like a... household broom"

"What way to the doll office? D'ya know I'm unemployed and I have a mullet?"

Giggling just typing the above!

The "portaaaaaah" scene! "I jist push stuff araaahnd"; "What a frickin nib, nob, nub." "Wankaaah!" :roflmao

I love that bit on the commentry- Script, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve, Steve lol!!

Especially as it was probably written:-

"I'm just a porter. I just push stuff around. What a frigging nib, nob, nab, wanker".

Joanna's face in the scene where alan's "massaging" her breasts and she sings Puccini- although 2 b fair it is pretty funny in the script:
"he pinches her nipples.
he gently brushes them instead.....
she gets more and more frantic and sinks to the floor"

Heehee, yeah, I was thinking really every single line of Sue's and Alan's should be in here... except, of course, loads of them are funny in themselves, anyway, but those two do deliver perfectly. Alan can't open his mouth without getting me rolling around laughing.

I'm sure there were a load of lines I had in mind to put in here but I can't remember any now. :rolleyes: Sorry, I'll come back when I do.

Oh, no, hang on, the whole conversation between Guy and Jake where Guy's calling him 'Spaghetti boy' and 'Farfellini man'. They both say their lines so brilliantly in that scene. I love how Jake laughs "OK" at the end and walks off casually.

Ah, yes, another one I thought of earlier was the scene with Sue and Martin and the dummy and the stapler. Love it when they do the voices for the dummy and stapler. :lol:

in S1Ep7 the way steve say 'inevitably' is soooo good lol love it!

Which scene is that in?

Martin leaning against his moped and saying "morning ladies"

its when caroline is talking to him about his onion layers and then they talk about going out to the countryside:
guy: fresh air, open spaces, meeeee
caroline: im strangely aroused
guy: inevitably!

or words to that effect!
its legendary!

s2e1 when Guy says 'goodbye sweet boy' :lol:
actually that whole scene cracks me up

just thought of another one, the way alan says the carreir pigeon poem :P

Ah, yes. Such a Guy thing to say.

I not sure why but i love the way guy says it!
Guy: "Oooh…no! Not like that! Don’t hold it like that. Oh my God, the man’s a butcher. Be careful with that bit, that’s the bit they need to…eat asparagus. They won’t be able to eat asparagus if you cut that bit out." [Guy and Caroline start to laugh.] "Et tu Caroline."

Martin when he says "I'm a mother fo-ing pimp"

classic

hehe i love that scene cos its when Boyce says

"Marty, treat ya prozzies with respec!"

hahah and hes like 'will do'

aww bless him :P

when Alan rang Joanna by 'mistake'
that cracks me up :lol:

:lol: think the way boyce looks when he says to alan you said you were saddened (by the death of his "daddy" is really funny) he looks so lost and its so cute

aww yeah haha :lol: bless.
and alan was going to give him a hug!
he should have :lol:

The way Statham tells Boye he has neat handwritting and draws nice grpahs.

And how he has "eyes like... chipped blue ice"?

And then when Boyce brings it up afterwards - I love the way Alan squeaks, "Moving on!". And then Boyce's "It's a bone" line - his tone is perfect.
Sue White reading Joanna's official confimation of her firing, in writing. "I ... love you." How does Michelle do it?

michelle is AWESOME at bringing her own thing to the script.

the way she says things is amazing.

i think stephen mangan is pretty good at that too. the way he says "let me finish" for example.


see now all of THIS is classic GW

spot on SBL!!! steve is amazing at the delivery stuff

i loved how michelle said 'you can't leave until you've paid the piper' in the special tho!

the way how mac says to guy 'i love you, will you marry me' and then swings round to caroline and says like all confidently 'i love you, will you ma-' and then his voice CRACKS omg and its so... perfect. and then he says 'marry me' like all quiet and scared.


well done julian.

yes, well done indeed! :D

:wub: That bit is lovely indeed.
I love the way Sue says, "Here are your play clothes for today" to Guy in the S2 deleted scenes.

yer thats a fab bit!

I never understood why he chose that particular moment to say 'Et tu, Caroline' because she doesn't laugh very noticably and it's one of those moments where Steve is obviously saying something scripted and it sounds different...still, mild CarGuy moment.

As for this actual topic!

I love it when Joanna takes her urine sample to the path lab and as she leaves Stephen Merchant says 'Don't go, I think I love you.'

*giggles*

:lol: It is! Although I love Stephen Merchant, so I would say that.