I do hope there are some on here... :D

Understanding Engineers:

two engineering students were walking across a university campus when
one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer
replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a
beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all
her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded
approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have
fitted you anyway."
--------------------------------------------
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
---------------------------------------------
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with
those blokes? We must have been waiting
for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"

The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with
him." He said, "Hello, George! What's wrong with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire-fighters.
They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we
always let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "So,why can't they play at night?"
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What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.
--------------------------------------------
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The
graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The
graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
------------------------------------------
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible
designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has
many thousands of electrical connections."
The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who
else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
---------------------------------------------
Normalpeople believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers
believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features
yet.---------------------------------------------
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and
said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent
over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up
again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it
to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess,
I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want." Again, the
engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for one week and do
anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

:rofl: :rofl:

*now i wanna be an engineer in collage :rofl: :rofl:

Believe me mate, no you don't!

they are class especially the one with the bike :rofl:

better learn how to spell college first :oops: sorry :)

i am engineer and those are funny .......................some are kinda true love to take things apart and hopefully make them better lol .................

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Hahaha I like these. :rofl: :rofl:

The glass one we were meant to get on our class hoodies...But our goddam class rep's cant organise anything!! :rolleyes:

And enigineering was alot harder than I anticipated and alot of hours in comparison to other courses and its seems integration and differentiation is the basis of everything :blink: 1st year nearly over tho and exams have been ok so far :D

As for not been able to spell college escortwithsunroof, engineers do maths not english ;) (well thats our excuse anyway lol)

english is not my strong point :ph43r: :rofl: :rofl:

brill about the arts students :P

price less
im trying to rember one we were told about the diference between a physisis and a engineer if i rember it and ye want il post it up *scratches head how did that go*