This is my first ever piece of fan fiction. It is about what may have occured between Cloud and Aerith is she hadn't died in Final Fantasy VII. This version has been fixed.

Cloud's Confession

Uhh...I clicked on the link and it took me there (and I'm not trying to be mean when I say this), but try spacing out your paragraphs. I noticed that all the parts were in one chapter, and I guess that's okay (it's just that I see it rarely). Try putting in details and pacing yourself so that the chapters (or parts if you prefer) won't be so short like that. This will give the reader time to adapt and attach to a character (if they haven't already x.x), and make them feel more emotion when something good or bad happens.

Other than that (and I mean no harm when I say this), I just couldn't read it. The paragraphs were too jumbled together. I always skim down the page (without reading) first to see how long it is, and that's how I found out about your paragraphs. If you need to, look me up on fanfiction and you can get an idea of what I'm talking about with the paragraphs (just look up Patter of the Rain, but it might also be Patters of the Rain, can't remember, been a while).

I will be happy to read it once you fix it though. It does sound like it's promising in the CxA fandom canon.

It has been fixed. Thanks for the advice. It actually does look a whole lot better now.