My boyfriend and I are fine if you are wondering. It's his mum that's being a beotch.

Anyways. Two Thursday's ago (after going through his trash), his mum found a note with a plan for him to come to my house right? That's enough to tick anyone off. Anyways, she forced him to break up with me, he didn't (thankfully). My grandpa is dying and I wanted to tell him this right? His mum isn't letting him talk to me until she "cools off".

Okay, well Christmas break ended today and I saw him at school. Well, his mum decided to send out little spies at school. Pisses me off enough. Anyways, we got caught hanging out at school and he got called to the office durring 2nd period. His mum told him to either break up with me or they were moving. He's been through something like this before and I know for a fact that they moved. How do you think he got down here from NJ? Anyways, all through 3rd period and lunch I was putting on a little show incase there was a spy around (he was supposed to break up with me, that's why I was acting).

Any advice?
Sorry if some of that didn;t mnake sense. I'm still a bit pissed.

Wow, what a horrible situation. I was in a similar one myself a little while ago, but the guy was a lying, cheating bastard and I can't blame his parents for spying.
Um....honestly, if he's still living at home and relying on his parents for his living, I don't think there's anything you CAN do other than just wait and see if she becomes sane. I know that it's hard, and it's really unfair, but I don't see there being anything else you can do.
Why is it that his mother doesn't want him dating anyone?

Because she found that letter in his trash about coming to my house. I've written her a letter explaining how much her son means to me, but I don't know anything yet (I was nice).

People that know me know that I don't want to just sit around and wait. I have to do something.

-Is positively steaming.-
Okay First of all who in the world does his mother think she is treating you like a pice of garbage?
Second of all Why on earth doesn't he try to do anything to stop her? She is his mom, yes but not the controler and absolute ruler in his life. He isn't a puppet for her puppetering. You boyfriend needs to tell his mom to back off, and he needs to tell her that you make him happy. Hence why he is in love with you.

Also You really need to step in at this point. Try talking calmly to his mother about the situation. Maybe she just thinks you are a bab person? If so then talking to her might clear-up any distinction and false judements she may have of you.
If that doesn't work then you really need to let your parents know what going on.
His mother's behavior does not seem normal and she could be doing worse to your BF without you knowing. Now this may not be the case but I am just making a point.

Oh and be sure to Beat the living crap outta those spies at school
No no jk.
>_>;

He did. He stepped in when I was talking to him that day. He plain out told her that he didn't want to break up with me and then she forced him to get off the phone.

I have talked to his mum. I asked her why she forced him to do something that would hurt him. Her reply was "Because I'm mad at him." What kind of bullsh!t is that!? So you're mad at your son so you force him to be unhappy?

I know for a fact that he's always had it rough at him house with his mum. I'm sure that it's the same now and it kills me knowing this.

I so did not need this and loosing my grandpa...

Hun how old are you and your Boyfriend? Becuase if his mother treats him this way and he is always depressed that isn't good. Especially when it can lead to other things..........................................................................................




If your Bf's mom is treating him this way then he needs to leave the house.

I'm 18 and he's 17. Not that much of an age difference right? So she can't be upset about that.

I know that it can lead to other things, and I don't want it to.

My friend and I are trying to find a place that he can stay at for a few days. To get out of his house and away from her.

I can understand that it's hard to watch one's child grow up, especially if he/she is the youngest (like him), but if she keeps doing this, then he's just going to turn out like a criminal. I don't want that to happen. So what is her reason for doing all this?

The best advice I can give at this point is to continue what your doing as far as being nice to his mother. Another thing I'd suggest is to lay low for a bit, just because you guy aren't dating doesn't mean that your refrained from having feelings for each other. Like he said wait for the mother to cool down. Things will look up eventually it's all about patients, because in the end, if you still love each other and want to be together you'll make it through this conflict, and the mother may even end up liking you, and seeing what a great person you are.

Umm... we are still dating... lol.

I can see where you are coming from, but I'm not the type to sit it out and wait. I want to do something about all this, but I can't because I don't know what to do...

How sad. I doubt it was from note alone rather it was "the straw that broke the camel's back" so to speak. What are her reasons for disliking you? Is she just controlling him, doesn't want to lose her baby boy, or some sort of personal vendetta against you? A friend of mine had something similar like this when her boyfriend's parents, with out her permission, searched her pockets. Of course they never found anything but it was a solid sign of mistrust and deciet.

Sorry to say it but this sounds like a wait it out or give up. If he really is your 100% true love then stick out to the end. She may even cool her heels. Other than that you gotta ask yourself "Is he worth such a crappy family situation?"

Ah, sorry I must of misinterpeted something.

Think of it this way though, if you wait it out (as far as waiting for the mother to calm down) you are doing something about it. Your showing the mother your a curtious and understanding person who wants nothing more then to show her respect. Showing her that your not a bad person and that she has misjudged you completely.

You know the case may not be that the mother distrusts you and you personally. Becuase you did state after all that somthing like this had happened before. It probably has somthing to do with the Mother herself. Either she has some Psycological (however you spell it ) issues or whatever. Obviously she is treating your boyfriend badly and there is somthing that needs to be done about it. Becuase going as far as moving out of the state for a girlfriend the mother doesn't like is not at all normal behavior by anymeans.

Also her reasons for doing it might be personal to herself, like she had a crappy relationship or somthing and now is against all relationships and doesn't wnt her son being involved. Or it may have somthing to do with his mother's sense of authority and power over him. If that is the case then the mother has no reason to do what she is doing just becuase she has the powet to they can. It's like a sort of mental disorder. I hope i'm making sense over here.

I say you talk to someone about this.
:/

I do believe he is worth it.

And Tenshi_Aerith, it's fine that you misunderstood it. I didn't word everything very well because of anger.

I was never mean to his mother, so I don't undestand why she's so upset and bent out of shape about everything. The only thing it's doing is tearing her family apart and killing me inside.

Windercream you made perfect sense. I think his mum needs to get checked out or something. She needs to accept the fact that her son is growing up. That's all I really think it is (and the fact that I know she has a problem with me). I'm just tired of all this bullcrap that she's putting us through, but I'm not moving on from him until he says that he wants me to (know what I mean?).

-Points to what I said above.-

.___.;;

Some people are just like that in the beginning. Who knows you may be the person that ends up changing everything in the end. This might be a similar case to what happened to me with my best friends mother and siblings. When we first met we hated each other, and now there my second family. If they could I'm sure my friends mother would adopt me.

For all you know it might end up that way for you too. It just takes time. That and I'm sure that you'll make it through this :huggle: Especially seeing as you feel this guy is worth it. The best case is to still let on to the mother that you care about her son.

Thanks for the help. That's what I'm hoping that letter explains. I just hope that she doesn't take it the wrong way since I wrote it at like 2:30 in the morning.

UPDATE: Yesterday, I was crying again before school actually started. He got caught by one of the spies for trying to comfort me. Today, he got caught by one of the spies for talking to me. I was crying during lunch and the only thing that he could do was stand there and watch. I feel horrible about all this. I don't know what to do anymore...

This is getting ridiculious! What kind of mother doesn't want their son to grow up and be happy? And as for me, why is it that everytime I'm happy, it always get's shot down by someone or something...?