I kept debating whether or not to post this when I joined the forum not long ago. It goes against my nature to post happy, cheery stuff, or talk about feelings, etc... I'm not a touchy-feely sappy guy by any stretch of imagination. When my girlfriend pulls out sappy movies, I run in terror and lock my office door. Whoever came up with the idea for the movie "Notebook" needs to be dragged out into the street and shot. Whatever moron directed "Titanic" needs to go down with his ship, preferably slowly and painfully.

I don't know why FFVII touched me where other games and movies could not. I actually felt for the characters of the game, I found myself drawn to the storyline like no other game, especially when I played it again not long ago. Why would I show up here and post on a forum that is dedicated to... love? Why would I feel the need to write stories that bring Cloud and Aerith together? And why does that give me a warm feeling? Why does good Cleris fanart always make me smile from ear to ear. Why did Aerith's death actually move me to tears? Yet I certainly can't deny it. Why else would I be here ;).

So here I am, sifting through all of this Cleris fanart and fanfiction, saving it to a password protected zip file which I rename and stuff deep in the Windows system folder so no one will ever find it. And of course, any time my girlfriend comes in my office, this forum magically disappears and my history folder is wiped, my disk cache cleared, etc.., leaving no trace of my secret.. uh... cleris-ness to be discovered (I have the entire procedure mapped to one key). I wonder what my paintball buddies at the local field would think if they knew the wacko woodsballer they call "walking tree" for the ridiculous camoflage suit I built... was a sap. Or any of my family, most of whom are from a die-hard construction background and are as macho as they come.

Anyhow, I'm not real big on emotional rants (weee lets all be emo. okay... no.). But ya.. this is my admission.. I guess I shouldn't be ashamed of this, and though it might not be wise to go announce it to everyone, maybe I don't need to be so paranoid about being discovered. After all I'm still the guy with a pile of functional medieval swords & armor, paintball equipment and camoflage suits... who can build and renovate houses. Really, who's going to question my manliness, or whatever?

So I guess I shouldn't be ashamed of the pink, or the smile that Cleris stuff can bring me.

Not sure exactly what you're wanting people to reply with, but I don't think going on a forum about two character's love makes you a sap. There are guys and gals who simply enjoy the story of Cleris without needing to get sappy over things.

I also don't think you need to put up this fake persona by hiding everything you consider sappy from everyone you know offline. It sounds like you're trying to make yourself sound more macho than you actually are by not being honest with those who know you. Though, I have read your KH thread too and know how people react to your interests, which is unfortunate. I think you just have to explain it to them that you enjoy RPGs and stories which happen to have love interests in it. Nothing wrong with that in the slightest, and I'm sure everyone here will agree.

*Shrugs* It just isn't, well, healthy to hide who you really are, and to me that sounds exactly like what you are doing.

I wasn't looking for anything in particular in terms of a reply, just kind of wondering if anyone else is in the same boat.

It may not be healthy, and though I never intended to put off a "macho" image, that is apparently what I've done without realizing it. Now people have come to expect that from me ;p. Especially my girlfriend and family. I don't think any of my friends would question it too much.. but family.. blah. And my girlfriend has this image of me that is super-macho. I find it to be completely annoying, actually, and that's one reason we have a lot of trouble. Yet nonetheless she repeatedly asks me to go watch sappy movies I couldn't care less about with her... I don't get that.

Anyway I don't want to turn this into a complaint fest. Thanks for the reply, will ponder.

One, and I'm speaking as a girl. Don't hide things from your girlfriend. What if she found out? The fact that your hiding things, and people in a relationship aren't meant to keep secrets from each other. It'll make things a hell of a lot worse.

Two, my family don't like the fact that I'm into Cleris. They want me ready for the "real world", not a fake one where people look like polygons. My boyfriend couldn't care less, considering he's a Cleris himself.

Three, you have that part in you which is sappy. Every guy has it, no matter how "macho" they may act. Your entitled to that sappy part of you, and really shouldn't care less what other people think.

And please don't take this wrongly, but if your girlfriend asks you to watch sappy movies with her, then you are perfectly within your right to do your own things, even if they're sappy, macho, whatever.

Don't ever worry about the macho thing man. actually you liking cleris is a good sign it means you know what true love is your girlfriend should enjoy that fact. you know that true love and friendship dosent stop with death so many people think it does. and being a man does not intel the things you listed as manly, sure those great skills for a man to be able to do but thats not what a man is. A man is a person who finishes what he starts, doing the right thing, standing up for what you know is right, knowing who you really are,and taking care for those you love if it kills you. Thats macho my friend.

~Cheers~
~Marshall~

Hahaha, secret Cleris in hiding! XD I sometimes feel like I'm in the same boat as you. Like I fell in love with FFVII back in 97' when I was 14! It seems so odd to me that after all these years, the story has affected me to the point where I still visit this forum and I still care about the story and what happens and I still love this pairing. Although, I must confess, I loved Titanic, too! XD

Indeed, FF7 is a remarkable game if it can still keep us hooked more than a decade later. That's a negative on Titanic though.. the only thing good about that movie as far as I'm concerned is the fact that most everyone died. But then in all fairness I was forced to watch it against my will, so that probably tainted my opinion.

And yes, I am a secret Cleris in hiding LOL.

Agreed. His name is Nicholas Sparks. Shall I contact you via PM for further interest on the idea of publically flogging this disgrace to writers everywhere? :mellow:

Whaaaaat? :( James Cameron isn't that bad. He also did the Terminator movies, and I thought they were fun. Plus, despite all the sappy stuff in Titanic, there's still two super fun hours of death and destruction. :lol:

Ah, you are right of course, the Terminator series redeems him. Without T2, we'd never have "Hasta La Vista, Baby." And without T1, we'd never have "I'll be back." That alone makes up for Titanic. So we'll postpone his public flogging...

But this Nicholas Sparks fellow... heh. I am in full agreement with you. Although I was thinking perhaps the old fashioned method of public humiliation ought to be very effective... Tar and Feathering :).