I'm sorry to bring this up here, I know I'm a new guy and all, but I figure there are a lot of women here who might have some advice for me. I'm breaking up with my girlfriend and I don't really know how to do it without hurting her :(.

My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 years, the last year we have been living together at my house. Unfortunately I came to realize that we are not at all a match for each other. We have almost nothing in common, to the point that we don't spend time together at all anymore. I haven't even seen my friends in the last 6 months because she is basically against my doing ANYTHING without her, which kills me at times. I have to sneak the PS2 out when she's not around so I can play my favorite games... she not only hates them but hates the sight of me playing them, even though I don't play them very often.

I don't know... there are 10,000 other things we clash on, and we fight all the time now. I may sound like a complete jerk, but I now know that I've fallen OUT of love with her over the last year. We were fine when we didn't live together, but not anymore. We had a big fight recently and basically I told her that it's time to end this.

She'll be coming home soon... and I don't really know how to do this without hurting her. I still care about her and don't want to make this any harder on her than I have to. But I know I have to do it. Nonetheless I know she's still in love with me and... I feel this will hurt her a lot. And then there is the problem that this is my house, but I don't want to kick her to the street... but I know she's not doing so well financially, it would be hard for her to find a place. I'm not rich by any stretch of imagination, and I don't know what I can do to solve it.

And plus, it's almost Christmas, it seems so wrong to do this now... but if I don't, it will just be worse next time... and we get to the almost-breaking up part at least once a week nowdays... this all sucks...

Anyway any advice, any help... anyone?

Best thing to do would just be to break up with her as soon as you can. It's alot better than breaking up later on, believe me, I would know. Just tell her the truth. If you explain that you can't be yourself around her and that you feel that the past year changed your feelings for her, then that would probably be the best route. Be sure to explain every reason why you feel the need to break up with her and if you feel there's no chance at getting back together, explain that as well. It might be hard to do this, but imo it's the best thing to do. And lastly, don't leave any regrets and don't pity her. Those are probably the two worst things to do. Nobody wants to feel pity from the person who broke up with them. And if you're really serious, don't change your mind at any point during the breakup.

If there's any good way to make it sound in a breakup, say things as if you were the bad guy, even if you feel it's true or not.

Instead of saying that you can't hang out with your friends as much, say that you don't think you can give her the time that she wants from you because you feel the need to have time to yourself. Stuff like that will make it a bit easier. And if you get the point across properly she might get the hint and break up with you herself. And if she tries to mend things, then it's your choice at that point. If your resolve is wavering then just take time and think about what you want to do.

As for her having a place to stay... depending on the situation, she might just leave or she might not. Just think about what you want to do in either situation.

After reading your explanation of your issues with your girlfriend, I see three choices:

Are you actually in love with her or just annoyed at her latching on to you? This is the first thing that you must figure out (sounds to me like this is the situation you are in)

1.) If you really still love her but just can't get along with her, you will find a way to compromise. Tell her straight out your concerns/clashes (hanging out w/friends, having time to play games...etc.) and if she cares about you as you say then she will listen. The reason she has latched on you could be because she's feeling lonely. I don't know of course but you could ask her.

2.) Perhaps you don't have to break up with her but just take a break to figure out what you what in a relationship. Or maybe you could tell her that you can be in a relationship but shouldn't live together.

3.) If you absolutely can't be with her and want to split. You must be honest with her. Perhaps you can support her financially until she can stand on her own feet then let her go.

Seriously... thanks for the advice... it really helped a lot! I'm such a moron when it comes to this.

I told her the truth, and even made myself out to be the bad guy a bit... But she surprised me by actually listening this time. I guess I finally got her attention... I decided to give it one last chance... she said she didn't realize how bad she had become.

But I also told her that I'm not sure that will make me feel the same as I used to... I'm just not sure we can go back... but I told her I will try... We agreed to revisit all of this in amonth or so.

Blah... relationships are so much easier on screen ;).

Someone drop me in ff7 in place of Cloud... lucky bastage. :cleris: