Here is the first chapter to my fanfic.

The Flower Girl, The SOLDIER, and the One-Winged Angel

Cloud Strife was riding home from a day of training when he heard some men bothering his wife, Aeris and his best friend Tifa.
“Why don’t you sell more than flowers? Maybe you two should go see the Don, he’d fesh a great price on such pretty faces?” said the men, eyeing them with unwanted interest. Tifa’s brown eyes narrowed and she put on her boxing gloves. With lightening speed she knocked out two men
within the blink of an eye.
“Oh, I’m sure the Don couldn’t resist your beautiful faces, now could he?” she said with taunting sarcasm. “Don’t make the mistake of making a pass at my best friend or else you’ll regret you ever came here.”
Meanwhile, while Tifa was taunting her adversaries, Aeris had gotten cornered by the remaining men in the group and they were eying her with unmasked interest. Aeris thought
“I hope you brought backup cause your about to taught not to mess with a flower girl. I’m not as innocent as I look.”
She pulled out her staff, jumped into the air, hitting the men as she flew. Then she executed a perfect backflip and landed on her feet with her brown hair flowing behind her. Cloud stood watching Aeris in awe.
“Damn, better not piss her off.” he thought.
Her green eyes seemed to be on fire and she knocked them all out.
“Guess no one’s going to the Don.” She wiped her hands and smiled.
“Tifa warned you all but you were too proud to take her seriously.” Aeris heard clapping behind her and the person said
“Excellent job, Aeris. I have taught you well.” Tifa turned around and saw Sephiroth in his black clothes and cape and her eyes widened in fear.
Tell me what you'll think.

:lmao: :lmao: I laughed quite a while after this line..

Good job! Angelwing Aeris! I don't remember if I ever read some fanfics adoring AerithXTifa, though I read a lot in Japanese fansites lists :P

Keep writing, plz? :huggle:

Give you this fanart as a cheering present from some amazing Jap fan :gift: :


:lmao:

Nice ^_^! It's really cool, when I read about Tifa and Aerith that are friends ^^.

I made Aerith and Tifa best friends in the story because I'm sick of the LTD debates. A secret about Sephiroth, Aerith & Cloud will be revealed in the next few chapters that will make Cloud pretty jealous especially when he finds out the history of that secret. (Aerith was keeping it from her husband, because she knew Cloud and Sephiroth would have the epic swordfight of the century) :lmao:

I also hate how everyone makes Aerith out to be a damsel in distress so I gave her a sword but she's still the same old Aerith, until she takes Sephiroth's love potion that is.

Here's page 2

“Thank you, Master Sephiroth.” said Aeris, bowing. Cloud rode over to Tifa, Aeris, and Sephiroth, and jumped off his motorcycle, furious. His blue eyes were glowing with rage and his spiked blonde hair was standing on end. He walked over to Tifa and pulled her over to the side.
“What is it Cloud?” asked Tifa, running a finger through her long black hair nervously. Before Cloud could answer, Yuffie parachuted from the Shera and looked air sick and landed on her black and white boots. She walked over to Cloud and said
“Wutai’s under attack!”
Cloud said “Cid can handle it. I have things to do, if you haven’t noticed, Yuffie. If Cid really needs my help, come back.”
Yuffie frowned and Tifa said “Yuffie, I’m sorry but Cloud’s in no state to go fight.” Yuffie called Vincent and Cid came by to pick up Yuffie. On the other side of the street, Sephiroth and Aeris were spurring. Aeris jumped into the air, crossed swords with Sephiroth and executed a perfect leap over his head and landed smoothly on her feet. Sephiroth said
“Great move Aeris. Practice it with your husband, Cloud. Class dismissed.” “Yes, Master Sephiroth.”
Sephiroth said “Tomorrow we will move on to advanced kong-fu lessons.” He walked off and Aeris sheathed her crystal blue sword, and took out her staff instead. Tifa said
“Cloud, Aeris doesn’t like Sephiroth, in her in her heart there is only you. Stop letting jealousy override your reasoning.” Cloud said
“Tifa, your right, but I----“
Tifa grabbed Cloud’s shoulder and said
“There are no but’s. Aeris is your wife, if she didn’t care for you, she wouldn’t have married you.” Aeris Strife walked over to Tifa Lockhart, her best friend and smiled.
“I can handle it.” She whispered. Tifa walked off and said “See ya, Cloud. I got to get back to 7th Heaven. Aeris, call me if Yuffie comes back, ok?” Aeris said
“Your going through section 6 alone? It’s dangerous.”

Omg. This is too cute. Keep writing!

Here's page 3

FYI: My stories are action packed in with romance. Hope everyone likes. Will be fluffy in some parts, and less so in others. It is also a Cloud/Aeris/Sephiroth love triangle, but since Cloud and Aerith are married then it will be ClAeris, but love isn't always nice.


Cloud said “Aeris, why don’t we go on my bike to Tifa’s bar?”
Aeris said with a flirtatious smile, “I can bring her.” Cloud said
“No way. It’s too dangerous, and I want to protect you.”
Aeris said “That’s really sweet of you Cloud, but I can defend myself. Master Sephiroth has taught me well.” Cloud’s face darkened and he said
“I’d like it if my wife wasn’t with my worst enemy.”
Aeris said “I don’t like Sephiroth, he’s my teacher. I like you Cloud.”
Cloud said “That’s not what I meant! He’s the world’s enemy, is it a little unusual why a mass murderer would teach a woman swordsmanship?”
Aeris said “He’s doing it anyway. So can I go now?”
Cloud said “Can we go on my bike?”
Aeris said “Where’s Tifa going to sit?”
Tifa said “I’ll walk and meet you there.”
Cloud said “There’s a way that all of us can ride. He walked over to his Fenrir and touched a button and an extra seat appeared.
Aeris said “Wow. What else can this thing do?”
Cloud said “I’ll show you something, but you must get behind me. Tifa and Aeris got behind Cloud just as five swords came flying out. Aeris jumped over Cloud and caught all 5 swords in one full swoop. Cloud hugged Aeris, shook her shoulders, and said
“Aeris, you fool, you could have been killed.”
Aeris said “I’ve been practicing that move with Sephiroth.”
Cloud shouted “What haven’t you done with him?!”
Aeris said “I haven’t ever loved him, the way I love you.”

Page 4 & 5

Cloud’s anger dissipated and his gaze softened and he said “I’m sorry, Aeris...I was wrong.”
Aeris said “Cloud....”
Tifa said “Cloud, your afraid that your wife is in love with her teacher? That has got to be most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.”
Aeris thought over the what Tifa was saying to Cloud and replied “Ok, I forgive you but under one condition.”
Cloud said “name it Aeris, I’ll do anything.”
Aeris looked into Cloud’s blue eyes and said “I challenge you to a duel. Not to the death of course, but it’s what I want.”
Cloud’s mako blue eyes widened in fear. “No Aeris, I can’t fight you. You are my wife and I never fight women.”
Aeris said “It’s not really a fight. I’ll just be showing you my skills.”
Cloud said “Ok, your wish is my command, darling.”
Aeris said with a smirk “If you can handle it, Cloud.” Cloud smiled and assumed his battle stance. Tifa stood to the side, a smile on her face. “Cloud, you don’t know what your in for” she thought.
Aeris took her staff and assumed her battle stance. Cloud and Aeris met eyes and nodded. Cloud met his sword to Aeris’s staff. She hit his sword at an angle and sent it flying.
“Damn it.” thought Cloud. Aeris teleported his sword back into his hand by sending it flying at his hand. Cloud thought “Ok, let’s take this up.” Aeris took out her sword and held up two fingers and she slammed her sword into Cloud’s for 5 straight hits. She flew toward him but Cloud was prepared. He met her sword and sent it flying. She quickly jumped and used his shoulder as a post and flew after it and caught it. She jumped to the ground but landed heavily in a pair of arms. Aeris looked down and saw that Sephiroth was holding her. He whispered “I had a feeling you’d need help. You all right?” Aeris relaxed in Sephiroth’s strong arms and nodded.
“Use your sword and staff like we practiced and you’ll win if you catch him off guard.” Aeris nodded, and Sephiroth released her.
She said “Thanks, Master.” Aeris flew toward Cloud, hit her sword against her, and used her staff at an angle that sent Cloud’s sword flying and it landed into the ground. Cloud walked over to Aeris and said
“Excellent job, Aeris. You won fair and square.” Aeris put her sword and staff away and said
“Thanks Cloud, I hope you had as much fun as I did.” Cloud only smiled in reply. Tifa smiled and said with a smirk
“Cloud, I knew you were in for it from the start.” Cloud didn’t reply. Tifa said “Why don’t we all go to 7th heaven for supper?” Sephiroth flew off after whispering something to Aeris that made her smile. Cloud pulled her aside and said
“We need to talk.” Aeris looked up into his stern face and said worriedly
“What about?”
“Us. Came the dreaded reply from Cloud. Aeris said
“Let’s talk about this at home.” Cloud grabbed her arm and forced her to look into her eyes and gently touched her cheek.
“Aeris, this very important. I care for you and I need to know whether everything’s ok between us.” Aeris smiled flirtatiously at her husband and she touched Cloud’s cheek which seemed to calm him down. She smiled and said
“Of course everything’s OK. Unless you plan on having an affair with Tifa we are fine.” Cloud laughed and said “My best friend? She’s practically my sister. Naw not gonna happen.” Aeris said
“Why did you ask if everything’s OK?” Cloud said
“Aeris, are you in love with Sephiroth?” Aeris saw the fear and jealous fire in Cloud’s blue eyes and replied
“No, Sephiroth is very handsome and a great general but he can’t love because he’s cold hearted. However, he is my teacher, so I respect him.” Cloud relaxed and his jealousy left him. He drew his wife into his arms and kissed her gently. Sephiroth was watching the couple with a jealous fire in his mako green eyes. He thought to himself “If only I could make her forget Strife, then she’s mine.” He thought and thought and finally came to the conclusion that he’d give her a potion to make her forget Cloud and once she waken up and sees me, she’ll be in love with me and I will have hurt her husband, Cloud, in the worst way. Aeris will be my queen when we rule the world.”

pages 6-9

Meanwhile, Cloud, Aeris, and Tifa, had gone on Fenrir to her bar. Tifa shouted
“Cloud! The Shera is landing!” Cloud suddenly slammed on his brakes, and Aeris almost got thrown off. Tifa caught her hand and kept her from falling. Cloud gently lifted his wife into his arms and helped Tifa off his motorcycle.
“Thanks.” exclaimed Cloud with a relieved smile. Tifa smiled back and they walked into 7th Heaven and met their friends Red XII, Yuffie, Vincent, Barret, Cid, and Cait Sith greeted them. Tifa opened up her bar and everyone entered and began chatting.
“Cloud, is Aeris ok? She looks kind of pale.” Said Yuffie anxiously. Cloud looked down at Aeris and gently asked her
“Are you ok? Or should we go home?” Aeris said
“I’m dizzy, so dizzy...” Tifa took Cloud aside and said
“I think Aeris has more than just fatigue”
Cloud said “She has been feeling tired lately.” Tifa said
“It sounds like she’s either training to hard or pregnant.”
Cloud said “I don’t think she’s been training too hard.”
Tifa said “I think she needs rest. We can talk about this later.” She walked up the stairs behind 7th Heaven and Cloud followed her. Tifa brought Cloud to a small room and tucked Aeris into bed. Cloud said
“Is she OK?” Tifa said
“I think she’s pregnant.”
“Really?” Cloud asked with a smile.
Tifa said “I’m not completely sure, but I think im right.”
Cloud went downstairs and everyone started asking
“Is Aeris ok?”
Cloud nodded and smiled. “She’s fine.”
Tifa peeked into Aeris’s room and found that she was sleeping peacefully with a smile on her face. Tifa walked downstairs and walked back behind her bar, and started cooking supper. Cloud turned to Yuffie and asked
“Did you guys stop the invasion of Wutai?”
Yuffie looked upset and Vincent gently said
“It’s ok, Yuffie.”
Yuffie’s brown eyes looked sad and she looked like she’d been crying.
Cid said
“We stopped the invasion of Wutai without any deaths.”
Cloud looked suprised and didn’t say anything. Red XIII said “Yuffie’s been upset since Cid took her materia away because she didn’t stop being “annoying”.
Cait Sith said “Cid was being too hard on her. She wanted to fight but he wouldn’t let her.”
Barret said “Shinra was trying to extend it’s influence again.”
“Cloud should you get Aeris up? Supper will be ready in a minute.”
“Going.” Cloud walked upstairs with a smile and walked in the room that she was sleeping in.
“Hey Cloud, do you know why I feel so dizzy?” asked Aeris anxiously, fear in her green eyes.
Cloud walked over to her and tenderly kissed his wife.
“Don’t be scared, Aeris, there is nothing wrong with you. You’re pregnant.”
Aeris smiled and said lovingly “this is the best thing that’s happened to me since you.” Cloud blushed a few shades of red. “...” Cloud gently held Aeris in his arms and looked into her emerald eyes
“You are the best thing that’s happened to me. You freed me from Sephiroth’s chains, taught me how to love and feel again.” Aeris smiled at her husband and put her arms around him. Cloud put his wife into his arms and said “Aeris, Tifa said supper is ready. Can you walk or do you need me to carry you?”
Aeris said “I’ll be ok. Can you help me down?”
Cloud said “of course.” He helped her down the stairs and Tifa pulled up two chairs for them. Cloud and Aeris just finished their supper and walked outside, when Aeris immediately unsheathed her sword and whispered,
“Cloud, I have a bad feeling about walking in the slums tonight.” Cloud immediately removed his Ultima Weapon from his shoulder sling.
“I feel it too.” Cloud and Aeris walked calmly into the street with his black clothing flying behind him. As Aeris guessed, they were surrounded immediately. Cloud muttered “Dammit” under his breath and Aeris wore the ‘I told you so’ flirtatious smile. “I have an idea.” she whispered.
“I have an even better idea,” Cloud whispered back, “let’s get Sephiroth to appear to call off his boys.” Aeris rolled her eyes.
“My sweet logical husband, and what would happen if it’s not Sephiroth. Sephiroth hates you-
“What because I can kick his ass to kingdom come?” interrupted Cloud.
“Not right. You’re married to me and I’m the last Cetra. Anyway he thinks he’s an Ancient and therefore if I marry him, I can keep “our” race alive. Anyway, Sephiroth has learned a lot and I’m sure he’s aching for a rematch, so if you have any intelligence you’d adios your way out of here.” There was a flash of black wings and Sephiroth came flying down, black cape flowing behind him, Masamune in his left hand with a smile on his face. He walked around Cloud and Aeris in a circle and finally turned toward Aeris and greeted her warmly.
“Hi Aeris. How are things with Strife? Why do you stay with an idiot like him who isn’t even smart enough to know when he should run home to Mommy cause he’s too arrogant for his own good?”
Aeris was pissed but kept her cool. “What do you suggest I do?” Sephiroth smiled and looked at Cloud
“Get rid of him or teach him that a sixth sense does exist.”
Aeris smiled a little despite trying not to. By this point, Cloud was pissed.
“Stop it, Sephiroth. How dare you belittle me after you set my town on fire and killed my mother!”
Sephiroth shook his head. “Cloud, Cloud, Cloud. Poor little puppet. You’re so pathetic, you couldn’t even save your mother and Tifa? Truth is your too weak. You couldn’t even defeat me if you tried.”
Cloud hissed “When YOUR DEAD you won’t be so overconfident!”
Sephiroth laughed and smiled. “I can’t believe it, poor Cloud thinks he can kill me? Hahaaaaah!”

Since I can't just leave my readers on a cliff hanger here is pages 9-11

Aeris pulled Cloud back from trying to charge at Sephiroth and hissed “Have you forgotten about Sephiroth’s boys? Use your logic please Cloud or you’ll get yourself killed. That’s the last thing I want.”
Cloud nodded and he and Aeris stood back to back facing the crowd. “If you guys aren’t afraid to die then come on!” Cloud beckoned to the crowd with his hand.
Aeris and Cloud started to fight with Sephiroth’s boys and it appeared after a while that the pair were winning. However, at a pivotal moment one of his opponents kicked Cloud in the stomach and sent him flying into a wall. Aeris flew up onto the roof and cushioned his impact by casting a shield spell. Then she went after his opponent. Jumping from the air, her sword came down on her opponent and he was immediately eliminated. Next she used the wall for support and jumped and kicked the final remaining opponents in the head and sent them flying. Cloud finally got to his feet and Aeris went over to him.
“Are you ok?” asked Aeris, concern in his green eyes.
“I’m fine. Your spell protected me.” Cloud gave Aeris one of his rare smiles and they stood looking at each other until Sephiroth decided to ruin their romantic moment.
“Strife! You still owe me a rematch.”
Cloud hurled back “Do you really want to die by my hand?”
Sephiroth smiled and pointed to his head “You’re so arrogant Cloud.” Aeris suddenly felt a presence behind her and quickly turned around.
“Cloud! Help!” screamed Aeris in fear. Cloud and Sephiroth turned around and they were greeted by the Ultima Weapon. Sephiroth suddenly switched to cold General mode. Without thinking he pulled his student out of danger.
“Aeris, go to Tifa and tell her and the rest of your friends to evaluate her bar immediately and get onto the Shera. Cloud, we’ll have our rematch after the threat is eliminated. ”Aeris nodded and obeyed the request. Aeris rushed in to Tifa’s 7th Heaven and told Tifa the problem. Tifa was afraid but asked Cid to get the Shera. When everyone was safely on the Shera, Tifa reached her hand out to Aeris and motioned her to get on. Aeris smiled but shook her head,
“I’m going to help Cloud and Master Sephiroth.”
“You could be killed! Cloud would be heartbroken if you died. Please reconsider.” pleaded Tifa.
“Sorry but Cloud needs me and my healing powers.” replied Aeris with determination.
“I’ll be ok. I’ll come back I promise.”
With these parting words Aeris walked over to Sephiroth and Cloud and saw that the Shin Ra military was also with them. Cloud immediately spotted Aeris and she went over to him. Sephiroth was rapidly weaking Ultima Weapon with his Masamune’s deadly accurate strikes. Cloud and Sephiroth combined their powers and summoned Super Nova. The Shin Ra military evacuated the residents of Section 5 and brought them to the outskirts of Midgar. Ultima Weapon was almost completely defeated after Sephiroth did a few rounds of Super Nova, but he let out one final laser attack toward Aeris.
“Aeris, look out!”Cloud shouted in fear. Aeris looked fearless. She smiled at Cloud and summoned Holy at Ultima Weapon, then she felt a dizzy spell come and she fell to the ground, barely missing the laser beam.

Angelwing, it's obvious that you've improved since your last update! Good job!

There are still problems with punctuation and grammar, but you'll get better at that over time. And always remember the difference between "your" and "you're". You might actually benefit from getting a beta reader to proofread your stories.

Whenever a character goes into thought, it's good to italize the text instead of putting quotes around it, to separate it from actual spoken dialogue, but it's not completely necessary. It depends a lot on the writer's style. :P

Every time a person speaks, set off the dialogue from the rest of the sentence with a comma.

You have: Aeris said "......"

Make it: Aeris said, "....."

Remember every time a new person speaks, a new paragraph starts. You've basically got this down, there are just a few times that you don't. And the first letter of new dialogue is always capitalized.

In page three, you had a conversation between Cloud, Aeris, and Tifa that basically used the same verb over and over again: said.

Try not to repeat the same verb too much in a long conversation, use other verbs as well. Like "whispered," "shouted," or "cried."

Don't go from "he" to "I" that quickly. You don’t want to switch from first person to third person perspective that fast. It’s good to stick to one or the other for a majority of the time. Like, you have most of the story written from the third person. Keep it that way until it goes to a character’s thoughts, or you start a new chapter. Switching like that in the middle of a paragraph gets confusing.

You type your dialogue like that throughout the story, and it’s something you don’t want to do. It’s easier to read if you keep ‘so-and-so said’ and their dialogue on the same line. Like:

Cloud said, “Is she OK?”
Tifa said, “I think she’s pregnant.”

Instead of:

Have: Cid said, “We stopped the invasion of Wutai without any deaths.”

Again, I’m going to ask for more description. Describe the room where Aerith sleeps, or the street where they’re walking afterwards. Description helps bring your story to life a lot. You're definitely doing better!

That would be a perfect point to add some description of the fight. Imagery could bring this to life. Use appealing verbs and adjectives that can paint a picture in the reader’s head. Describe how Cloud and Aeris fought Sephiroth‘s boys, or how they fight together like a team. Using a thesaurus could really help. For example, instead of using kicked over and over, you could say that one of his opponents ‘delivered a nasty blow to Cloud’s stomache that launched him into a wall. The sound of Cloud’s body smacking against it reverberated throughout the air. Cloud lay gasping, the wind knocked out of him.’

Okay, so that sucks, but it’s an example of what you could use to add more description.

Again, proofreading is your friend. That word, to me at least, doesn’t seem to belong there. Did you mean ‘evacuate’?

Woah. Ultima Weapon? Describe, plz. Having a hulking monster like UW pop out of nowhere like that will have the reader going, "Huh?". Describe it's appearance, or the destruction it caused, because a monster like that wouldn't stand there and do nothing while the characters thought up a game plan, right?

The rest of that chapter seems to fly by quite quickly. The battle with UW could be much more detailed, and you could add Avalanche's reaction to UW while they board the Shera. Describe the summoning of Super Nova, or how Shinra evacuated the residents of Sector 5. It goes by so quickly, lengthening important events like that never hurts.

Pages 12-15

“Aeris!” cried out Cloud in fear. Sephiroth looked from the dead Ultima Weapon then turned his attention to Aeris.
“She looks drained and pale. I hope she won’t go into shock. ” he thought immediately. After the ShinRa troops returned the people back to Sector 5 and carried off Ultima Weapon under General Sephiroth’s orders, he went to check on Aeris. Meanwhile, Aeris was conscious again but she was too dizzy and weak to stand. Cloud was worried and asked Sephiroth for some advice. Sephiroth looked at semi-conscious Aeris and shook his head. “Strife, your wife’s in bad shape. I think she’ll be ok, but she’s very weak now. It seems that her spell must have taken a lot out of her. You should get her home immediately unless you want her to go comatose.”
Grief crossed Cloud’s whole face and he broke down in tears.
“If I don’t have her, what is my life worth living for?” Sephiroth’s face softened from a second and then he appeared to give one of his rare smiles. But as soon as his smile came it was gone. Sephiroth then was annoyed by Cloud’s emotional reaction and scornfully retorted
“Strife, this is the exact reason you never made it into SOLDIER. You can’t get so emotional that it clouds your logic. Aeris will be fine if we can find out what’s making her ill.”
Cloud immediately ran over to Fenrir and asked Sephiroth to meet him at the Strife’s House in Sector 5. Sephiroth nodded and immediately flew off holding Aeris. Cloud rode off to his house with his Ultima Weapon strapped to his back and a worried expression on his face. Cloud rode Fenrir to the Strife’s House and saw Sephiroth waiting for him holding a sleeping Aeris.
“Let her sleep, she needs to regain her strength.” Cloud nodded and invited Sephiroth into his house. After tucking Aeris into their bed, Cloud walked over to Sephiroth and gave him some tea, then poured him some.
“She’ll be fine.”
“Sephiroth, thank you.” replied Cloud.
“Strife, don’t go all sentimental on me. I must be going cause Aeris and I have training with the rest of my ShinRa troops.” spat Sephiroth.
“You can stay here. We have an extra guest room.”
“If you mean it.”
Cloud nodded “I couldn’t send you away now even if I hated you. You protected Aeris.”
Sephiroth thought “I didn’t do it for you, Cloud, I love her.” He smiled a little at Cloud in thanks, finished his tea, grabbed his Masamune and walked upstairs his head in the clouds. Cloud came to a sudden realization. “The Great Sephiroth is in love? That’s rich.” he thought. Sephiroth smirked as caught Cloud’s thoughts. “You won’t think its humorous when your canary is my queen.”
Cloud then thought “What’s he so happy about?” Cloud washed the teacups and then walked into his room and fell into deep sleep. When Cloud awoke at dawn, he immediately sensed that Aeris was up then he heard her speaking to Sephiroth.
“Remember when we tricked Hojo and flew away from his lab? I love flying and when we flew I felt like I could conquer the world.”
Sephiroth laughed and replied “That fool. He didn’t even see it coming.”
Aeris smiled and asked curiously “Did he really think he could mate us?” Cloud felt a wave of jealousy wash over him.
Sephiroth replied “Well since you were my fiancée, that was exactly what he thought. Too bad he’s dead. Aeris, how could you go from the General of the ShinRa army to Strife? What were you thinking?”
Aeris replied sarcastically “Well, if you didn’t burn down Nibelheim after I demanded you not to and tried to kill my friend Tifa, and more importantly my husband maybe we would have a chance. After that day, you lost my affection and broke my heart. Why didn’t you just shoot an arrow through it?”
Sephiroth had a pained look on his face. “But...Aeris...you were the only woman that ever touched my heart.”
“Should have thought of that before you burned my hometown.” Cloud quietly replied. Aeris and Sephiroth turned to look at Cloud.
“Strife, you stay out of our business?” said Sephiroth with a dangerous smile.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know Aeris was yours. I was under the impression that she’s married to me.” spat Cloud. “Strife! We have better things to talk about which of you will kill the other today over me.” Aeris frowned at her husband which made him feel guilty and he knew he was in trouble because she used his last name.
“Master Sephiroth, I’m sorry I made you sad but the past is gone. I’m a happily married woman and I happen to like Cloud very much. Now that done and over with, can we go out to train?”
“Are you ready to go Aeris?” asked Sephiroth coldly.
Aeris was about to answer when the planet spoke to her.
“Ancient, don’t worry about Sephiroth, Tifa’s in trouble.”
“WHAT?I saw her last night and she’s perfectly fine.”
“She owes too much to the wrong people.”
“Bring Cloud, this is not going to be easy fight.”
Aeris awoke from her trance and Cloud gently took her in his arms. “Hey...are you ok?” He asked softly.
“Tifa owes some money to the wrong people. Around here that’s very dangerous.” replied Aeris, her fear leaving her.
Cloud took Aeris’s hand and they ran out of the home in a hurry. Cloud jumped on Fenrir and Aeris jumped on behind him holding him around his waist.
Meanwhile, the goons that Tifa owed money too were demanding the 30,000 gil she had borrowed. “Can I have one more day? I don’t have the money.” pleaded Tifa. “Cloud, help. I don’t want to die. Not now.” pleaded Tifa in her thoughts.
“We given you 6 months to pay it back. That’s more than enough time. Since you don’t have it were going to take you as payment.” the goons shouted angrily. Before anyone could move, a tall figure with blond hair came down from the ceiling sword in hand. Then Aeris appeared staff in hand and an angry glare on her face. Cloud landed in front of the unarmed Tifa and sent a dangerous look at the goons in front of him. Cloud crossed his arms and hissed
“So are you going to go or I am gonna to have to force you?”
The goons looked intimidated and replied “Your girlfriend owes us 30,000 gil.”
Cloud was about to say that Tifa was his sister but then Aeris stepped on his foot gently. Cloud smiled at Tifa and said “Tifa, let me handle it.”
Aeris touched Cloud’s hand and whispered
“Take off your ring, otherwise it’s a dead give a away that your lying. Plus they will demand it as payment.”
Cloud nodded and gestured toward Tifa. She walked front of him pretending to go toward the cash register and Cloud lowered his sword and skillfully removed his wedding ring and handed to Tifa who in turn gave it to Aeris. The sudden appearance of General Sephiroth diverted everyone’s attention. As soon as he appeared in his black cape and military uniform with his 7 ft Masamune, everyone could sense the fear in the room. Sephiroth paced back and forth with a dangerous smile. There was absolute silence when he at last spoke.
“Well, well, well, what do we have here? A bunch of imbeciles who desire to die?” “NO, please Sephiroth spare our lives!” The goons pleaded, falling to their knees.
“Now why would I be so generous?”
“Master! Don’t kill them. I’m sure they won’t show themselves again.” pleaded Aeris. Sephiroth looked at Aeris, and he felt his heart surrender to her plea.
“Alright then, listen well. If I CATCH you all making trouble around here again, I’ll have your heads myself. Here’s the 30,000 you wanted.” Sephiroth hissed, dropping the pouch of gil.

I love reading your fanfiction. It always makes me smile and puts me in a good mood.
My favorite part was

Cloud nodded “I couldn’t send you away now even if I hated you. You protected Aeris.”
Sephiroth thought “I didn’t do it for you, Cloud, I love her.” He smiled a little at Cloud in thanks, finished his tea, grabbed his Masamune and walked upstairs his head in the clouds. Cloud came to a sudden realization. “The Great Sephiroth is in love? That’s rich.” he thought. Sephiroth smirked as caught Cloud’s thoughts. “You won’t think its humorous when your canary is my queen.”

Keep up the writing, I'm enjoying reading your fanfiction :wub:

:huggle: I love Kuja so I put in some of the lines he might say. :D

Here's 16-17:

The goons took it and left as quickly as they had come. Sephiroth turned to Aeris and asked her
“Do you want to go train now?” Aeris smiled and walked over to him
“Yes, Master Sephiroth. But I have something important to do.” She turned to her husband and smiled flirtatiously “Cloud, I believe I have something of yours.” She walked over to him and gave Cloud his wedding ring. Cloud immediately put it on and told Aeris
“I’m going training near the Northern Crater.” Aeris gently kissed her husband and warm feeling went through her.
She remarked “What a coincidence. That’s where Master Sephiroth and I are going.”
Cloud thought jealously, “Great! Now I can keep an eye on Sephiroth so he doesn’t try to make pass on my wife.” Cloud turned to his best friend Tifa and gently hugged her to calm her fear,
“Teef, your be fine. You don’t have to worry anymore. They’re gone and you have Barret, Vincent, and Cid that can help you run the bar.”
Meanwhile, Aeris and Sephiroth had walked out the door and Cloud heard Aeris jumped on the rooftop and daring Sephiroth to catch her. Cloud followed Aeris and Sephiroth on his Fenrir. When Aeris reached Sector 6, she jumped off the rooftops and landed perfectly behind Cloud on Fenrir. Sephiroth landed the ground and flew behind Aeris using his black wings and his cape flew out behind him so he looked like a bat.
“Aeris, where did learn to walk on rooftops?” asked Cloud with amazement as they reached the gate of Midgar.
“It was the first part of my kong-fu training. I can teach it to you if you want, but I’ve been practicing it for a long time.”
“I love to learn.” replied Cloud, riding through the gates the Midgar. As they rode past Kalm, Sephiroth announced
“I’ll meet you two at Junon. I have unfinished business.”
“Take care of yourself, Master Sephiroth.” said Aeris quietly. Sephiroth walked over to Aeris and Cloud and nodded,
“I will, so don’t worry.” Sephiroth flew off toward Junon to settle his business. Cloud and Aeris waved bye to Sephiroth and continued outside of Kalm. When they rode outside of Chocobo Farm and neared the swamp, Cloud and Aeris pulled out their weapons in preparation for the Midgar Zolom fight. When Cloud reached the swamp, he had to figure out a way to cross it and not figure the creature at the same time. Fortunately for him, Aeris received his thoughts. Jumping up into the air, she glided over the water and threw her sword at the Midgar Zolom which killed it instantly. Cloud took the opportunity and rode Fenrir across the water. Aeris landed behind him and they set off for Costa Del Sol.
When they reached Costa Del Sol, Cloud needed to convince the merchant ship to let him bring Fenrir to Junon but he had no avail.
Aeris heard the situation and in her carefree way smiled and replied “My husband and I are going to see my brother-in-law General Sephiroth.”

Aw, another sweet chapter. Seph is so bad...poor Cloud,lol.
I'm looking forward to the next chapter :wub:

Here's 17-18:

“General Sephiroth? Yes, I believe he said that Cloud & Aeris Strife were coming correct?” Aeris and Cloud rode the merchant ship to Junon and hid behind a box and saw Sephiroth talking to Tifa.
“What the hell is she doing here?” Cloud whispered to Aeris with annoyance in his voice. Aerith mentioned for Cloud to be quiet,
“Thanks Tifa for the wine. Here’s your payment. Five drops should do it.” Sephiroth tossed her a potion bottle.
“This is more valuable than gold. Save some for your canary.” Tifa replied with a smile.
“I have everything prepared so don’t worry.” Sephiroth walked back on the platform to meet Cloud & Aeris.
“Why is she working with him? I’m going to get some answers.” hissed Cloud reaching for his sword.
“Strife, if you do that then you will have blown our cover. They can’t know that we heard them.” Aeris grabbed Cloud’s arm to restrain him from going to interrogate Tifa.
“Aeris, what am I supposed to do while my best friend has plans that will hurt people?” demanded Cloud.
“I’m sure that there is more to the story than it appears. Tifa wouldn’t really work with Sephiroth after all he almost killed her. If you ask me, Tifa has some ideas of her own but I don’t know what they are which is why we should investigate into this. Sephiroth’s the one with the real ideas so concentrate on him.” replied Aeris calmly with a smile. She saw that Sephiroth was coming over to greet them and that Cloud was preparing something dangerous so she put her arms around him and gave him a look that said Sephiroth’s coming and he immediately understood what she was trying to say and calmed down.

Whoa. What's up with Tifa? What is she up to....
And the part where Aerith was trying to subdue Cloud was cute :wub:

Should I have Tifa as an enemy or a friend? I've been intending her to be a friend but she does love Cloud and now she has the tools to make him fall in love with her.

Evil Tifa is always fun to read about, plus it would cause more drama.
But realistically I don't know what Tifa would do X_X
Up to you <3

I'll be able to make drama, only thing is that if Tifa were evil, she's need a good backstory on the how she turned from being good to evil. May be able to pull it off. I'm still writing but the next 3 chapters are going to be dramatic.

You are doing quite well, and some of the others have pointed out, your writing ability is definitely improving in the later chapters. Some of the sayings are very humorous, I especially liked "Master Sephiroth." Lol, that just has a ring to it. In any case as a minor suggestion I would recommend adding an extra line break after each character speaks, this generally helps the reader clearly understand who is speaking.

i.e. like this:

Hehe, this is quite interesting as far as I've read, which would be the first post. x'D

At first I thought Aeris was a bit OOC with the whole perfect back-flip bit, but then it said that Tifa "taught her well"... that was pretty cool. ;D :fangirl:

Actually I did do that on my Word document but when I transferred it here it made it single spaced.

Here is page 19:

“Hi Master Sephiroth. What are we learning today?” asked Aeris with her usual cheerful smile.
“Perfecting your flying kong-fu. Let’s fly to Northern Crater.” replied Sephiroth handing her a piece of black cloth.
“What about Cloud?” asked Aeris anxiously.
“What about Strife? He can get there by himself. He has Fenrir after all.” replied Sephiroth.
Aeris and Sephiroth walked off to go training leaving Cloud to prone his questions of Tifa’s motives.
Cloud rode Fenrir to the Northern Crater. He walked down the side of the crater fighting dark dragons.
“Why did Tifa betray me like that! I thought she was my best friend...I know that she loves me but she must know that I can’t love her!” shouted Cloud painfully, a tear in his eye.
“Cloud, she loves you. But I’m not sure that she’s betrayed you.” Cloud looked up and saw Aeris with a smile on her face.
Cloud was about to say something but was interrupted by a Snow Lion. Cloud slashed the fiend but was met with a blizzaga spell. Cloud braced himself to be hit full force but he was immediately surrounded by light. He looked up and saw Aeris summoning Great Gospel.
“Aeris, can you help me with this Snow Lion? I didn’t bring any Firaga spells.”
“Catch.” Aeris tossed a Fire materia to her husband and said with concern,
“Be careful, Cloud.”
Cloud nodded and smiled “I will.”
Aeris watched Cloud eliminate the Snow Lion, then started walking back to continue training with Sephiroth. However, she was pinned by two snow wolves. She couldn’t scream so she tried to reach for her staff but her effects were futile.
“Cloud, help me...I can’t die...” thought Aeris desperately.
Cloud was fighting a Tonberry and defeated it when he felt pain in his heart. He immediately know Aeris needed help. He cast a float spell and jumped onto the surface of the Northern Crater. Cloud pulled his Ultima Weapon from his shoulder sling and immediately killed the wolves and walked over to his wife. He held Aeris in his arms and slowed her bleeding by using a cure spell. Aeris looked into her husband’s blue eyes and whispered
“You saved me.”
Cloud gently touched her cheek and replied
“I heard your cry for help. How could I not come to save you? I’m your bodyguard after all.”
Sephiroth was waiting for Aeris to come back to resume her training but as the minutes passed he was growing nervous. He started to walk to the side of the Northern Crater and saw Cloud standing over Aeris treating her wounds.
“How is she?”
Cloud quickly turned around and said “She was bleeding pretty bad, but it looks like I stabilized it. If you have some Cure Materia it will help.”
Sephiroth handed Cloud the green magic orb and turned immediately hearing some incoming dragons.
“Strife, healing Aeris is the least of our problems. Someone released an army of dark dragons.” He pulled out his Masamune and equipped some Ultima and Flare spells as well as a Super Nova summon.
“Sephiroth, they are coming from the east. I’ll handle the west. Cloud hold off the north.” said Aeris sounding like general.
“Aeris, I’m not letting you fight, you were just healed.” stated Cloud adamantly.
“Cloud, I’m your wife not your daughter. I’m going whether you like it or not and if try to stop me it wouldn’t be pretty.” shouted Aeris just as adamantly as her husband.
“Cloud, back off. If you don’t you will get hurt.” Cloud looked up and saw Tifa landing from a parachute.
“Tifa, you came!” exclaimed Aeris with happiness.
“Yeah, I saw dragons in the sky so I came here as fast as I could.” Tifa said.
“Tifa did you bring materia?” Aeris & Sephiroth asked in unison.
“Knights of the Round, Ultima, Shiva, Bahamut, Cure.”
“Great section! Tifa, can you handle the dragons coming from the south?”
“Yeah, but I don’t have a weapon.”
“Here Tifa take one of my swords.” Cloud reached into his shoulder pad and took out his Buster Sword and separated it into six blades.
“Tifa, do you know how to use one?” asked Sephiroth.
“Cloud’s taught me in the past.”
Sephiroth, Aeris, Cloud & Tifa met in a circle. Sephiroth said “Use magic to take down most of them, and don’t let them overwhelm you.” The group separated and went to their designated positions. Before Aeris turned to walk away, Cloud grabbed her arm. He handed her an Ultima Spell.
“Tifa told me she had an extra Ultima spell and to give it to you. She also told me that she’s having a party at 7th Heaven and she wants us to go.” Aeris looked up at Cloud with a perplexed expression in her green eyes.
“Perfect! Now we can catch Tifa/Sephiroth and see what they are up to.” she immediately thought.
“I think we should go.” Cloud looked at Aeris and nodded.
“I hope we aren’t getting in over our heads.” He turned to his wife and looked at her for support.
“Alright lets go. Be careful.” Cloud looked into Aeris’s green eyes and saw determination and fear. He pulled her into a protective embrace and wished he could be like this forever. Aeris relaxed in Cloud’s arms and felt her fear leave her body.
“I will. I promise.” Aeris answered with conviction. He gently kissed her then walked off to engage in the fight against the black dragons.