Well things suck for me with girls. At least one point in everyones life you meet someone who you think, Im glad I know them, and I dont want them to leave. Basically love. I have met that person in the past and after we dated we've been frends for a long time. She has stated that I am the most important person in her life besides her family. She says she loves me a lot, but as a friend. And recently she told me something I did not want to hear, she had a one night stand with a guy who we met earlier who was with his gf. This was not good news to me, as though Ive told her I loved her in the past we have never slept with each other. And as you could tell I was pretty torn up from this. I also learned from her they didnt have protection. So for all I know something might happen. It is really bad knowing the girl I loved can not touch me yet she sleeped with some guy who had a gf, its not a good feeling. She says she feels like Im the only person in the planet who she can talk to about something this bad. But I at the momment just dont want to see her cause I cant forgive her for this. The night didnt end there, this guys friend likes her a lot and he was pissed off with me being an ex and still liking her. Apparently he wanted to hit me, so she tried to calm him down she said, but to me I dont like the idea of kissing the guy to calm him down even though she said "you mean a lot more to me than him." I dont know what to do with her, and I know Im going to get "you emo," comments and I will get people saying you arent together she can do what she wants. But the thing is I do care about her a lot, and thought Ive been told to never see her again by people I cant do that. Whole incident has gotten me stressed so much that Im sick, I cant believe in god anymore and Im just angry a lot now. Does anyone know what to do?

(I saw posts simiar to this here so I hope its ok).

1. I'm not religious but, I do not know what a God has to do with a girl not sharing your feelings, mate.
2. You're not the only man who has had his nuts kicked like this. I've felt like this as well, and I know this sucks like sh*t but, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, unless it maims you.
3. This one may be harsh but, you should stop deluding yourself about other people's feelings. That girl clearly doesn't share your feelings; she even said so, and proved that much by getting laid with some random chap.

Anyway, if she hit you in your nut-sack, it is ball-bus... Ahem... If she's not interested, seek for other ones. A girl that likes you won't be seeking for other men.

I'm extremely sorry that this had to happen to you. It absolutley sickens me when girls do things like that and this is coming from a girl. But I'm not forcing you to do this but try to pray in some ways it's just a sign she's not the one for you. One day you'll find a girl that will cherish you, and that she would rather die than do anything to hurt you. Just have faith one day she'll come. Last note this is extremely wierd coming from a cynical, apathic, anime and video game obsessed 15 year old girl that will probably never have a date.

Hi,

I don't know what to say cause I don't know you and I don't know your friend too.
But as you post this here I think you shouldn't wait for her. Why?

-Because she doesn't seem really mature. If she was in love with you she wouldn't go out with "some guy" don't you think? Would you go out with another girl when you love your friend?

-You're right to like her if you feel so. She's dear to you right? But don't be dependant. She can do some mistakes but you don't have to receive it like big slaps in your face just because you're his friend/ ex-lover. You are someone dear to her, she said. She should act so toward you.

-This topic isn't only about girls. Boys do the same too. (But girls are complicated lol).


(sorry for sp T_T)

Oh, to begin with, I'm so sorry this girl has hurt you the way she has, espically when you love her the way you do. But, to be honest, you have no right to be angry at her, she loves you as a friend, and only as that.

But then she has no right too, if she knew the guy had a girlfriend. I find that horrible. Your better off without her, she doesn't care for you the way you do.

I am so sorry, I normally reply to these in the nicest way I can, but this time, I just can't. It's the blunt truth, you are better off without her.

Ya know, it's easy for people to tell you to dump her.

Not so easy for you to actually do it.

But...guys everywhere get told 'let's be friends'...and every last one of hates it. Especially because, unknown to the girls, trying to pull the let's be friends trick LOSES them more friends then it makes them. I don't know why they keep doing it really.

Still, here's the thing. You can't help who you love. Not really. But look on the bright side. If she's sleeping with somebody's boyfriend, she would likely have cheated on YOU eventually anyway, and you'd be suffering regardless. Being rejected hurts less then being betrayed.

The fact that you don't get your feelings returned every time you fall in love with someone is something you have to learn the hard way. There isn't anything you can do about it, if someone just doesn't see you in the way you want them to anymore. I know you probably don't want to hear this, but it's probably hard for her too, if she really cares about you as a friend. I'm betting she doesn't want to hurt you, and she probably wishes that she could see you as more than a friend again, but you can't force yourself to be attracted to someone.

As for her sleeping with someone who has a girlfriend, yes, it's really bad judgement on her part, but sometimes if you're really into someone, you lose sight of what's right and what's wrong, and perhaps she even thought that if she slept with him, he might leave his girlfriend for her? I mean, without knowing her feelings for the guy, you can't know why she slept with him. If you're the only person she feels she can talk to about stuff like this, then she obviously trusts you a great deal. She knows it was wrong to do what she did, so try not to judge her for it.

Well said!

First off, I want to apologize for what happened to you. I'm recently going through some relationship problems myself, so I understand where you're coming from. I've gotten the whole "I only love you as a friend" thing, and it stings like a, excuse my language, a motherfucker, especially when you love them so much. But you must accept it, that's the only way you'll move on. I'm not saying go and forget her completely, but accept what reality is and deal with it the best you can. You can't live your life based on the past, but you can't forget it either. In other words, understand that the past will always be apart of you but live your life based on what the future holds. The past is what makes you who you are TODAY. Live for the moment, accept what has happened, and live your life. Easier said then done, I know, but you still have to try otherwise you'll be stuck in this depression longer than you want to be.

Now second of all, I want to say that I EXTREMELY dislike it when girls do this, and as a girl I feel it makes us look bad. I don't mean to insult this girl, after all I don't know her and you obviously care about her a lot, but you have to hear this and so does she. She is leading you on, majorly. Yes, I know she stated as a "friend", and you gotta understand that that will be the extent of your relationship, but if she knows you have feelings for her she should stop pushing all her relationship issues down your throat. And from the sounds of it, this guy she's with sounds like a real sleezeball and I suggest you tell her to get out of that relationship with him instead of complaining and telling you how she loves you. There are other ways to tell someone they mean a lot to you without saying "I love you". Tell her it makes you feel uncomfortable and that you would appreciate it greatly if she would stop saying that. You seem like a sensitive guy and if you really are as close as you say you are with her she should understand. And if she is your friend, she would stop leading you to believe that you're special enough to make her choose you over this guy as a potential boyfriend. A better way to put it on her side would be to say, "You are important to me as a friend, and you've always been there for me and I appreciate it. Our friendship is very valuable to me and I just don't want for us to date because it would be like dating a brother. I love you like family, but that's all. If I gave you a reason to think otherwise, I'm sorry, but please understand where I'm coming from."
If she's already said this, then you need to stop dwelling on the matter and advise her OUT of this current relationship. If this guy cheated on his girlfriend, I have no doubt he can just as easily cheat on her. People show you who they are, believe them. It's as simple as that, and she needs to realize it soon.

Thirdly, I want to say that God has nothing to do with this. This is a matter between you and this girl. I know it probably feels like God forsaked you and you don't owe him anything because of it, but right now you're in an emotional state and I don't think you should be making any declarations in what you believe or don't believe in religiously. Afterall, when it comes to faith, a line from the comedy movie Dogma comes to mind: "Faith is like a glass of water. When you're young, the glass is small and easy to fill. But as you get older, the glass gets bigger and the same amount of liquid doesn't fill it anymore." Basically, what I'm saying is you need to focus on the good things in your life and MAKE yourself fulfulled. Once you've had time to cool down, then that's the time to think about your religious standing, not while you're so upset like this. You don't have to listen to me, afterall your beliefs are YOUR beliefs and mine are mine, but people say things they don't mean when they are angry or sad and I just don't want you to do that. After all, I didn't realize my real beliefs (I'm agnostic) until I took some time to really think about it. I've said a lot of things I didn't mean in moments of intense emotion that I regretted saying later. So think before you say things that you'll regret saying later.

Lastly, I want to say that thing is just another trial in your life that you have to get through. You'll be fine once you take time to think about things and once you talk things out with this girl. So just keep it cool and in the end you'll be fine.

Hmm....

I think I'll give you the real authentic man to man talk.(As if I were talking to one of my real life guy friends)

Alright. This is what you need to do. Stop being a crybaby. Suck it up, be a man, and pick your balls up off the floor. Go out and find another girl. This is just one, count 'em, ONE girl. How many girls are out there in the world? (you answer) Exactly... that's alot of women.

(Then I would go into a rant on all of her negative aspects.)

Then I would invite you out to go out and something fun to get your mind off of her. We'd have fun then you can go home and forget her or cry yourself to sleep, whatever you want.


Yeah... This talk doesn't help much when it's online I guess.

Things happen for a reason. Maybe she isn't really the right person for you so just forget about it.
For now, focus on other things aside from love like school or work. Besides, I'm sure you have friends. Hang out with them a lot. It helps.

In time I guess you'll understand although at this point in time, it still sounds easier said than done.

Love this is one of the main reasons why I hate the female race. Even though I am one of them. They over-look a really great guy and only go out for the assholes, leaving the great guy behind to be used as a teddy bear when she gets crushed and needs someone to talk too. They see them as a best friend and only want to stay that way and completely ignore the fact that the grea guy is in love with them becuase they are so infatuated by the asshole. I am extremely sorry that this had to happen to you. But know this, you WILL find someone who loves you and treats you better. As for this girl, leave her, if she had a one-night-stand with a guy who has a gf then she sure as hell isn't worth your time.
Cheer up, Love.
:huggle:
You'll find that special girl.