I know this is probablely a silly reason to be upset, but...I feel like I just won't ever find the right guy for me. I'm 16 years old and have gone through enough crappy relationships. I just want a nice one where the guy finds me interesting for me, not for the size of my chest (which is quite big...)... <_< Twice this summer I have been dumped. One from a two year long distance relationshi[ in which the guy told me that he HAD been avoiding me for three weeks and that he didn't love me anymore and wanted me out of his life. I...was crushed. Then I recently dated this boy who had been so nice and gentleman-like to me. there had been no baggage attached and I really thought it was gonna work out. He dumped me last week for another girl and said, "It's not you, it's me. Really."
That's the second time that line has been used on me.
Now, I understand I can be...annoying and stuff, but I know to give a man his space. I don't like being or seeming clingy, so I'm not the kind of girl who will call 5 times every day. I try not to ask for too much, and I try to understand my boyfriend's feelings whenever there is a conflict, but I guess...that isn't enough. I've been feeling really down on myself because I try to give so much in a relationship, only to be dumped in return. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, and it's not like any of them really give me any signs that they aren't interested in me or that there's a problem... I feel like I'm the one who's doing something wrong and usually take the blame for the ending of the relationship. I beat myself up over things that weren't my fault because I feel bad and it KILLS me that I can never get a break from this. I want to be able to love and be loved in return and I just can't get that fufillment because all of these guys are focused on my chest too much to focus on ME. I dunno...I just feel like I'm no good for a relationship and will forever remain eye-candy to the masses for the rest of my exsistence until I'm old and everything begins to sag.
And what kills me even MORE is that I'm jealous of my FRIENDS because they have nice relationships. I feel so horrible for being jealous, but I just want that affection so bad and the fact that they have it is not fair to me. My mind-set is kind of like, "Why is it that they get to be so effin' happy, but I always get the shit? It's not fair..."
I feel so bad for unloading this on all of you... I just really needed to vent. I'm really upset by this and I need some advice, so...yeah...

Once again...sorry for unloading like this... :(

:unsure: I'm not sure where any of this post had to do with them being too focused on your chest, but ok, first step is finding a guy who isn't. :lol: I think that your negetive attitude probably is adding to it, and the fact you're probably trying too hard to find someone. Really, if it's going to last, it needs a slow development, and you need a friendship with them as well as a love relationship. Also, you really need to find a happiness on your own before you can have a happy relationship, if you're putting in a positive attitude, and know that you'll be fine even if you break up, then you'll have a better relationship, and more importantly a better life overall.

You also really need to realize how young you are, 16 is not when you're required to find the love of your life, and from what I see here, you really aren't ready for it. But that's perfectly fine, most people don't find the one until later, and I'm sure that the boys you have been dating aren't ready yet either. Right now you need to stop trying to find the right guy to make you happy, and concentrate on making yourself happy. Really, no man can make you happy if you don't try on your own.

Taco's right, you're still pretty young to be so worried about spending your life alone :lol: Just enjoy being a teenage girl! Go to dances, hang out with your friends, go on dates, you don't always have to have a "soul mate".
Heck, I had 1 boyfriend during highschool, for two weeks. Highschool isn't just about having a boyfriend to cuddle with during lunch, there's much more to a healthy social life than that. You should take your time this time to date lots of guys and discover what type really works for you.

To make you feel better, I'm only 17 and I don't have a boyfriend. I did have this one HUGE crush on a guy at church. But there was a problem, another girl liked him too. It was probably because he was the only one who was around dateable age. :lmao: I wrote him about four notes which I gave to a buddy of mine since she goes to the same school as him. And he wrote back to me once and sat right next to me in Sunday School :fangirl: .

But that was about it. And my last two notes, he kept on saying to my buddy, "Why does she keep writing me? She doesn't even know me." And when I found that out, I was like, "That was the whole flippin' reason I was writing to him!!"

I was really mad about it. I had to keep telling myself, "He's a punk!" I finally moved on. But there are those days when I'm like, "If only he gotten to know..."

Most of my friends have boyfriends and I'm like, "Hmmm... I have more freedom than they do. I mean, they are constantly wondering if their boyfriends are going to cheat on them or something along the lines of that. Being single is probably best for me right now."

If you ever start feeling bad about yourself, just say, "(Insert name of boy) is a punk! It's not my fault!"

Find a nerd. They'll be so GRATEFUL to have you that they'll worship the ground you walk on. Nerds usually expect to be alone all their lives, you see, so if they're NOT...they feel like God smiled on them.

That is, of course, assuming you don't take the advice of the ladies around here.

UGH, YOU GUYS.

Teens think dating is their whole world because their "whoremones" are imbalanced. Their brains aren't fully developed yet and this makes them vulnerable to impulsive feelings. There's an actual explanation for teen behavior.

Dating is NOTHING compared to the rest of your life. Seriously. Get over it. Dating every guy you see doesn't make you COOL, it makes you "easy".

Who you are with makes absolutely no difference in the REAL WORLD. Younger people need to get that through their heads. Those who are focused on things other than social dating in school are the ones who are the most mature and have a better chance of succeeding later in life. Younger years are for learning, not jumping into stupid situations that may mess you up emotionally (or physically when it comes to STDs) for the rest of your life.

I'm sorry, but teens have the WRONG idea about dating. It disgusts me. Especially with all I have seen in my own life.

I totally agree with you. Even though I am 17, I have other things to do in my life than to worry about dating. I rather worry about finishing high school and figuring out what college I'm going to and what career I choose.

darkmoonlitdreamer, it's okay to vent to us but don't expect us to have the right answers. We're just stating our opinions.

I agree with Kaldea as well. Here's one of my stories All my friends were dating someone and I was sad because someone didn't like me one bit. All the guys in my school think I'm demented beyond belief. But after seeing all the trouble dating as a teenager causes I wanted nothing to do with it and I realized they're were better things in life to worry about. So I stopped worrying about dating and moved on and believe it or not I actually can't see myself with anyone even when I'm an adult.

Don't worry guys are out there like that...like I don't care that much about the size of a chicks chest, as long as they're fun ot hang out with, and cool about things. Like me and my girlfriend where getting married, now where not, were dating again. The reason for that is because shes to clingy and asks for to much. Basicly if your looking for a guy, be cool. find someone that isn't focused on feature about you, but someone that seems to like everything about you. Your hair, your eyes, even your feet or something. If a guy takes you out and you dont wear make up and he doesnt care, thats a good sign. If you wear something slightly revealing(sp) one day and than where something comfortable that covers everything and he doesnt care, theres a good sign.

A lot of guys in this world are really out there only looking for a good time, or to play some stupid game on how long it takes to get as fatr as they can with a girl. Its lame and stupid but the truth, a lot of guys in this world and really sucktastic.

But someone is out there somewhere for you. I can say that for sure. Now I know you've heard "someones out there for everyone" and it might really feel like anyone is out there for you, because of all these really ridiculous things, but trust me there is always someone out there. Infact Im sure theres like 2 or 3 guys out there for you, you just have to decide which one is perfect for you.

However, heres a tip that my girlfriend doesnt seem to get after a year of dating. When you start dating a guy and you ask him to do things for you and he does them, wounderful, however, do not expect him to just do them. Continue to ask him to do things. Example: asking for rides place, or hanging out, make sure to ask if he'd like to hang out, or if he'd give you a ride, don't expect it. My girlfriend expects rides everywhere and it really ticks me off, and she expects all my time...which is fine but Id like to do things id like to do.

Just keep that in mind. You seem like a nice girl and im sure someone out there is just waiting to find you.

Good Luck

I understand, I'm just...I felt really bad about it. And I don't want to tell some of my friends here because I don't want to upset them, or anything... But thanks for letting me vent... In all honesty I really just needed people who would listen and lead me in the right direction.

And Kaldea...thanks. I kinda needed that straight talking. :)

TidusBlankety, um... :huggle: :huggle: Thanks. :)

Ah... I honestly don't see whats so great about relationships. After being in one or two, I found I was happier being alone. But thats just me. I know everyone isn't the same.

I agree strongly with Kaldea, at this stage in our lives (im 17) relationships aren't all that important, and most teens don't realize this. After a long period of being totally emo about all my friends having relationships, I saw the light and got over it. For me, relationships and family would be a distraction... perhaps you just need to find something you love and believe in that doesn't center around a male your age.

Firstly, I'm 14, and have had an awful lot of boyfriends for my age. I got used I dunno how many times.

It's enough, honestly. I don't think a man can ask much more then that, I really don't.

Don't...just don't feel bad if they spilt up with you. I have been there so many times, and it is not a happy place. It's not your fault, like you said, so there's no point in beating yourself up over it.

And that will happen one day, there is a man out there for you who will love you for who you are, and not for your chest. You do not want to be with a man who only cares for you because of your chest and that only.

Don't be jealous, you'll be happy with a man when the time comes, you don't just jump into the relationship the first chance you get, you have to wait for him to come along. Maybe your friends have found him or maybe not, but you should be happy being single into you yourself have found him


I hope that helps.

Thanks, illwaitforever1. It means a lot. =] Thank you for being so nice.

You're 16. Enjoy life to the fullest. Start worrying when you're old enough like me..., 24. Just kidding. :P :huggle:

Believe me, there's nothing bad being single. Take your time looking for the right person and don't obsess over it.
Women don't need men to survive! Don't become so dependent on them. I'm sure you've got great friends to support you. ^_^'

I've been dumped for a model (apparently I'm still bitter about this), I've been cheated upon (like, it turns out I'm the number 2 and the guy is still in a relationship with his real girlfriend although he said they're through!), somebody said he loves me but took it back and left me... bad things like that happen. But I'm still strong.

Most of my friends are in stable relationships. At first I was jealous but I realized that maybe I need to take some time knowing myself more as a single person before I start dating again. Although there are guys who admire me and are trying to woo me, I still wouldn't care. I have standards on how my ideal guy should be.

If you have standards on how your ideal guy should be, stick to it.

Last but not least, have faith in yourself. Stay happy and focused in your life. Like they always say, don't look for love, let it find you. ;)

...and we're here in the CxA forums in case you need cheering up and support. ^_^'