Okay, little backstory. My boyfriend and I will be dating 3 months on the 12th of this month (May ^^).

I've realized that when I'm not with him, I'm all down and sad, but when I'm with him, I'm always happy and cheery. So my question is, is it just love or am I head over heels for him? I mean, it's been a while since I found someone that kind, loving, everything that a girl wants. The last guy... nevermind.

He makes me forget all my problems. For example, last Friday (I think it was), he went on a field trip and I was left alone all day at school. Not that bad actually, it was just the fact that I had everyone under the sun asking me if I was okay. I didn't mind answering their questions. But when I got to 2nd block, the teacher just fussed at me like I was the only one doing nothing (I didn't really have anything to do), so I went to my sewing maching and tried to apply a button to a piece of spare fabric that I had. The whole time that I was doing this, I was crying and I don't normally cry either. Normally, after that class, he'll welcome me with open arms, but he wasn't there that day. I knew why too and I'm not mad at him. It's understandable. I think that if I wasn't with him, I would have suffered more than the two emotional breakdowns that I did. Always when he welcomes me, I smile and forget about that class, but he wasn't there to welcome me and I knew this and I think that's why I cried like a little baby. The whole way to 3rd block, I had my head at the ground and when I walked into the room, I walked quickly to my desk and put my head down and cried again. He knows what happened and he is sorry that he was gone, incase you guys are wondering.

But still, I can't help but ask myself, is it just love or am I head over heels for him?

I also have a question for myself, is head over heels just the same of 'in love'? I'm really confused.
I can't tell if you're head over heels or it was just love, but I from the statements you said, you're in love with him. I'm not really royally delicious when it comes to love and that stuff, so I ask some other members and people myself. :)

Well, I know that I'm in love with him, he's my boyfriend. But it's just getting to the point that I can't live without seeing/talking to him atleast once a day.

This post is meant in the least insulting way possible-- only my opinion.

To me, it doesn't sound like love. It sounds like infatuation, and there is a huge difference. There's nothing beyond being in love; it's THE most mature, enduring, and unconditional form of affection for another person. It's not characterized by spending every waking moment together and obsessive devotion. Those are lies perpetrated by movies like "The Notebook." Plain and simple, that's not love.

Infatuation is when you are obsessed with someone else. They consume your thoughts and life. You don't mind ditching the girls just so you can spend another hour with him. You cry when he's gone for a few hours. Infatuation is fleeting and (please don't take this as an insult) immature affection. Teenagers often confuse infatuation with being in love because the feelings you have for that person are so strong, but they NEVER last. EVER.

Love is putting half of yourself in another person. It's about support and selflessness. It's an emotional window: you feel their feelings and they feel yours. Thus, people often say that love is when giving feels like receiving. Love lasts and it's not obsessive. It's compassionate. Love is healthy, and still allows you to live a balanced life.

I'm sorry... :no: This doesn't sound like love to me.

I disagree with a few things Sadhana said.. Mostly about the parts where love was defined, when the actual word "love" has no definite definition. In fact "infatuation" can even be or be a part love. To some it can be any sort of affection towards a person/thing. Or it can take on a deeper type of affection. It all depends on the person.

So although you may be obsessed and although you can't go a day without this person... you can't really call it off as just infatuation.

Take for example my girlfriend and I. I see her everyday. When I'm not physically with her I talk to her online. I'm so used to that, that when she's not around online or next to me it just doesn't feel right. Would you take that as infatuation, being obsessive, and immature? Well to some I guess so. And I guess infatuation never lasts, so will our 5 year long(6 in Oct) relationship(still going strong, might i add) going to end at some point? Doubtful.

Anyway my point is that you can't say that this love is real and that love is fake and will end at some point. There is no line that separates real and fake love because the word love can take on several different meanings.

I agree with MistaCloudStrife too, Sadhana. My real definition of love is it cannot be defined, though can be felt. I believe that Nocturnal~Fantasy is in love with her boyfriend, if her reasons are solid, like "he makes me happy" or something like that, I don't see why it is infatuation at all. I also reckon it is normal that someone who is in love wants to see her loved one and be with him/her everyday. I myself, doesn't have that kind of fate. My relationship is a long distanced one, me--Korea and Philippines, him at Japan, I really really wish I could often see him as much as normal couples do. If it was infatuation, he would've noticed it by the day I had feelings for him.

Oh, so when I think about my boyfriend often, it means I'm totally obsessed with him? Honestly, I'm taking psychology and as far as I know, it is normal for a person to think of someone in such a huge time if you're in love.

Of course that's not what I'm saying. And I'm majoring in psychology. ;) Infatuation is certainly a form of affection. There's actually a specfic part of my textbook that deals with the two different types of love. I'll define them as my psychology textbook does if that's what we're getting into here (From the David G. Meyers Psychology Textbook, 7th Edition; Chapter 18: Social Psychology-- Romantic Love):

"Occasionally, people move quickly from initial impressions, to friendship, to the more intense, complex, and mysterious state of romantic love. Elaine Hatfield (1988) distinguishes two types of love: temporary passionate love and a more enduring compassionate love.

Passionate Love
Noting that arousal is a key ingredient of passionate love, Hatfield suggests the two-factor theory of emotion can help us understand this intense positive absorption in another. The theory assumes that (1) emotions have two ingredients--physical arousal plus cognitive apraisal--and that (2) arousal from any source can enhance one emotion...

Outside the laboratory, Donald Cutton and Artuhur Aron (1974, 1989) went to two bridges across British Columbia's rocky Capilano River. One, a swaying foot-bridge, was 230 feet above the rocks; the other was solid. An attractive young female accomplice intercepted men coming off each bridge, sought their help in filling out a short questionnaire, and then offered her phone number in case they wanted to hear more about her project. Far more of those who had just crossed the high bridge--which left their hearts pounding--accepted the phone number and later called the woman. To be revved up and to associate some of that arousal with a desirable person is to feel the pull of passionate love.

Compassionate Love
Although the spark of romantic love often endures, the intense absorption in the other, the thrill of romance, the giddy "floating on a cloud" feeling always fades. Recognizing the short duration of passionate love, some societies have deem such feelings an irrational reason for marrying...

So, are the French correct in saying that "love makes the time pass and time makes love pass"? Or can friendship and commitment keep a relationship going after the passion cools? Hatfield notes that mature love is called compassionate love--a deep, affectionate attachment."

So there you have it. As psychologists define it, there are two different types of romantic affection-- one that lasts, and one that doesn't. Resha, I never said you were abnormal because of your intense feelings for your boyfriend. If anything, I would say it's natural. It's just not the same kind of love that makes 30 year-long marriages.

In my other post about love in the "love" topic, I stated my opinion that it's near impossible to use words to describe being in love. I guess I should've done that here too, but I didn't find it that relevant to include the disclaimer.

Yes, infatuation is a form of love and affection. But I was distinguishing a difference between that kind of love and being in love.

I'm glad you're in such an enduring relationship. However, Resha will tell you since she's taking psychology, while anecdotes may seem powerful and convincing, they are often little proof of anything. Besides, it doesn't sound like infatuation just because it doesn't feel right when you're not next to that person. After I broke up with my boyfriend of two years, it took a long time to get used to the feeling of not having him around, but being accustomed to someone's prescense isn't necessarily correlated with infatuation. And I never said that those experiencing infatuation were immature. I said infatuation is an immature form of affection, as in that it's young and inexperienced.

I didn't mean for people to get all technical about it. I just wanted to see what peoples views were and see if there was anything that can help me.

I've explained to him about all that (my first post) and he's the same way.

I know what you mean. I may not be able to talk to him online as much as you can MistaCloudStrife, but I do get to talk to him on the phone atleast two 20 minutes at a time (his mom made that rule, not anyone else). The infatuation as Sadhana put it has calmed down since that post. My boyfriend understands how I feel because he is going through the same thing. He just wants to be with me and me alone, but he knows that he can't do that all throughout his waking hours and I know that as well. If anything, he has helped me. I went from being very close to a failing student in school to being average and slightly above in some classes. So if anything, he's helped me. And he's told me that I've helped him as well. He's making better grades as well and his mom is really loving me for it. lol.

And when I don't see him, I know that he's safe because he sends me text messages even though I have a limit. He knows not to break the limit. Sadhana, I have to disagree with you however. Just because something like this happened in a movie doesn't mean that it's happening to me. I'm sorry if I offended you and I apoligize if I did. You were only trying to help me and I understand that. What you said wasn't insulting to me (believe me, I've gotten worse).

Of course I'm not offended! :lol: But also understand that I'm not saying these things because of "The Notebook." That was just my example of fairy tale, eternal passionate love.

I might have also understood it better if I would have actually seen the movie as well.

Now that we've gotten all that out of our systems (lol), is there a way to tell if he is actually the one? I mean, the song Everytime We Touch by Cascada really sums up what I feel. When he touches me (like holding hands or a hug, nothing sexual, him and I aren't ready for that at all), something like a spark goes through my spine. It's not like one of those 'OMG THAT HURT' sparks, just one of those 'If only time could freeze' sparks. Anyone know what I'm talking about? Also, when I hear his voice, my heart skips a beat and my stomach does flips.

I know that I do a lot of things for him, and he knows it too, but I still wouldn't call if infatuation.

It's just that I've never really felt like this with someone else before, and I've had my share of guys before (not calling myself a whore or anything, but it's true), but none of them ever made me feel like he makes me feel.

:lmao:
Sadhana, my favourite kind of love would be Platonic. But yes, I would agree with you in one point, Infatuation is a form of love, however an irregular on, and I know what you mean on "The Notebook", I don't love the story for some reason-everything is all about physical being. Although, I still don't think that the kind of love N~F is having is an infatuated one like in the book.

True love is when you can not only wash their underwear, but fold their parents' undergarments from the dryer first. :lmao: *just did that right now*

Anyway, I have to say, I agree with a lot of what Sadhana has mentioned, honestly, real love doesn't always have to be intense with a need to constantly be together. Trust me, I'm married, so this isn't just getting pulled out of nowhere. I think that in my opinion, the most important thing in real love is that you're still strong and better when apart as well. If you depend on someone too much, it only hurts you.

It's normal to miss someone you care about, but to be completely miserable and crying and apologizing because you two can't be together for a little while can be a bad sign, and should be a sign you need to be sure you're ok on your own still.

Now, since you say that's improving, I'll move on to the next part. It's natural to feel different when touched by someone you want to be touched by. Just don't take it too seriously, songs and movies and everything love talking about that spark and how it symbolizes a connection that will last forever. I'm not saying that it's a bad sign, but honestly, I don't feel this giant jolt every time my husband is near me, mostly I just feel comfortable. So honestly, I can't tell you if it's something real based on that. It's something only time can tell. The best thing you can do is not try to figure out if he is The One, and just enjoy things. There isn't a perfect equation that love can be determined by, like 5 parts same interests, 9 parts jolts when he touches you, 1 part perfect scent of his skin, and so on. Keep your head about things and you'll eventually know as time goes by.

You're probably thinking that it was a lot worse than that, but it really wasn't. I've got a self-esteem problem and it's the fact that the teacher has beaten me down since the first day because I didn't sew a patchwork item together straight. First time sewing! Hello!

I have really considered what you guys have said, and I know that I may seem like a baby, but I am 18 and I really think that this is the first guy that's really treated me correctly in every way. Know what I mean? I have also thought back to that day and thought 'Wow, that was really babyish of me.' which it was. Now when I can't see him (i.e: weekends) I keep his face in my head and I know that I'll be okay until Monday morning.

To Taco: I'm not trying to be mean, but I think the reason you don't get that spark anymore is because you are married to him and you see him just about on a daily basis.

Well then, I'd recommend that you start working on your self esteem as well. ^_^ It can be tough, but that gives me more reason to believe you need to be sure you're strong on your own, that's the only way you can grow. Trust me, I know my share about all that. :lol: I'm sorry that you've felt beaten down, but just keep in mind that you just should keep working on things until you feel good about yourself and what you do. Good luck on improving in your class!

I'm very glad that he treats you well, that's very important! I hope that things continue to go well too.

:lmao:! Oh if you only knew. I had a long distance relationship with him long before we were married, and I hardly ever saw him, and I've felt that same comfortable feeling for years! Honestly, with work and everything else in our lives, it's not like we're just always together. I'm always happy to see him, and couldn't be happier, but to have to always feel something tingly would be silly to me. :lol: Tingly feelings aren't real love, and tingly feelings don't make a marriage work, so I'm not at all offended. I'm sure as time goes on you'll see that tingly feelings aren't what love is all about. When you really know you wont need to ask anyone else if they think it's love. ^_^

I'm aware that the tingily feeling will go away at some point, but right now, I kinda don't want it to. It makes me feel safer. :lol: That sounded so lame, but whatever. I have been working on my self-esteem and I'm getting better. It's getting to the point now (mainly since it's so close to the end of the year) that I just really don't care what the teacher says about me behind my back. It'll come back on her triple fold one day anyway. And he's made my self-esteem better as well. All my life just about, I've been beaten down about everything that I do/say/think, and he doesn't care (well he does) that all that has happened to me. That was the past. It's over now and it's more than likely never going to come back. He's shown me that and I'm starting to forget about all the bad things that have happened to me in my life and I'm starting to focus on the good memories. So that's a good start right? I hope.

It's nice to know that your self esteem is improving. I also suffer from a poor self esteem too. But at least people are helping you. My friend thinks he's helping me gain a better self esteem by saying I need an attitude adjustment when he doesn't know anything about me. <_<

Atleast he tells you stuff like that. lol. I know some people that wouldn't care wether someone else was dead or alive unless they were about to get a deal from them. :lmao:

Okay, in all seriousness, thanks to all that helped. I've gotten everything settled out now and although it still may be puppy love (as the adults put it :lol: ), I'm happy and that's what matters right?