Im at the point in my life where I figure out who I am as a person, what my career will be, and so on. Its been harder then I thought.

Honestly, I don't know who the hell I am. Ive been depressed and havn't truly smiled in who knows how long. I dont know how to act, what to say.

I feel like I don't want or need friends, which I beleive so far. I mean, whenever im around people, my "friends," I feel completely awkward and out of place. Not that I think I have many "friends" to begin with. Not to sound dumb here, but I feel like Cloud... he convinced himself that he had no friends, and even if he did that he would fail them. Of course he overcomes this somewhat in the end, but im not Cloud. Is it my destiny to be alone?

Ive hesitated for a long while posting this on this site, as Ive made some enemies during my crusades in the Lifestream forum and abroad. Ive been afraid of showing weakness to people, I guess you could say.

If your wondering what my current mood/demeanor is like, read "The Raven." Make fun of me if you want, but don't think I won't defend myself.

I'll start by saying that you're only human. I think we all have doubts and problems and worries, I know I've had a great deal of them. I still do, but I've managed to stop being as depressed about it. There was a time that it all was so overwhelming that I was just sick of it all. I've experienced a lot in my life already and had to reflect on who I am. I still don't have it all perfect yet, but at least I can say I am happy more than I'm sad now.

I used to have hardly any friends, most I had weren't the type you can depend on, which to me has always been extremely important. I also can be very quiet, so it's hard for me to get to know people. Most only see my serious side, but if I feel comfortable I can let loose with a good sense of humor too. Although sometimes it's the other way around and they only see my joking side and never see the very serious part of me. Other times I would just be so quiet people saw so side at all. I felt more like scenery than part of a group of friends.

I guess my advice to you is to just keep trying, don't be afraid to admit you have weaknesses, and know you're not alone. I've seen you around in the forums, and even if I don't always agree with you, I still respect you and care. I don't know how your life is and what your exact problems are, so I can't give you advice, and you might not even want that anyway. But I'll listen and just let you know that even if you don't know me, I care.