Title: A Dream Becomes Reality
Description: My 2nd attempt at fanfic writing
aerisbolt - September 13, 2006 11:41 PM (GMT)
Hi there everyone. I have posted my next fanfic, it is a work in progress but I thought I would post it in case anyone wants to check it out. Please be warned it is very fluffy and could contain some OCC. I do hope you'll like it. :cleris: is the couple.
EDIT: I have decided to keep this story at 5 chapters and use the rest of what I wrote as a one shot which will be finished and edited later on. So all that is left is a final edit and read through and I will be done with this story.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3152460/1/ goddess_in_pink07 - September 15, 2006 12:01 AM (GMT)
ZOMG, loves I'm so excited! Teehee! You did a fab job on everything so far. You really gave me a vibrant pic of how Aeris looked. Very lovely indeed. :gift:
Its going to be like the perfect cleris ending! :cleris: Goody goody gosh!
Sadhana - September 15, 2006 10:35 PM (GMT)
WOW, I'm sorry. I read this, and I was going to write a review and reply in a post. I got really busy and forgot. Erghh... my bad. :lol:
It's loverly. It's great to see how your writing's grown since your last fic. I adored the way you captured Aerith's subdued gittiness in the first chapter.
I left a review. My name there is Only Teenage Wasteland, so you know which review is mine.
*Grammar Monster Takes Over*
The paragraphs should be broken up a little bit. When writing dialog, each new speaker's dialog should be a new paragraph. For example:
| QUOTE |
| “Damn has the party started already?” “Why the hell didn’t someone come and get me?”Cid’s voice boomed over all the laughter in the room. Tifa is the first to respond to Cid’s grand entrance, “Good gracious Cid, you could almost pass as a gentleman.” Tifa then proceeds to go over to the firmly built man whose face has begun to get creases, yet the twinkle in his eye gives away the kid in him. “Great Shiva Tifa, you’re gonna have the fire department down here to douse the flames your giving off in that dress, who’s idea was it to put you in that outfit, don’t you have a shawl or something to cover up with!” The distress in his voice was apparent. Yuffie didn’t waste an opportunity to take a shot at Cid, “You really are becoming a grandpa aren’t you, geez.” she huffed. |
It actually should be like this:
| QUOTE |
“Damn has the party started already? Why the hell didn’t someone come and get me?”Cid’s voice boomed over all the laughter in the room. Tifa is the first to respond to Cid’s grand entrance.
“Good gracious Cid, you could almost pass as a gentleman.” Tifa then proceeds to go over to the firmly built man whose face has begun to get creases, yet the twinkle in his eye gives away the kid in him.
“Great Shiva Tifa, you’re gonna have the fire department down here to douse the flames your giving off in that dress, who’s idea was it to put you in that outfit, don’t you have a shawl or something to cover up with!” The distress in his voice was apparent. Yuffie didn’t waste an opportunity to take a shot at Cid.
“You really are becoming a grandpa aren’t you, geez.” she huffed. |
It's much easier to read that way, and makes keeping track of who is speaking much simpler.
Please continue! I can't wait to see these two wed.
aerisbolt - September 15, 2006 11:14 PM (GMT)
Thank you goddess and Sadhana for reviewing!
Sadhana, thank you so much for again helping me with becoming a better writer. I tried to heed your advice and made some changes, it would be great to know what you think now, I still need to go over chapter two again. Is my tense work better in this one, I am trying really hard to stay consistant after the great advice you gave me for Cloudless. So again thank you you really are a huge help :huggle:
Goddess, you are just too cute I am glad you are enjoying it and I will try to update as soon as I can.
Thanks again to everyone who is taking time to read it, and again reviews are very welcome.
goddess_in_pink07 - September 17, 2006 04:19 AM (GMT)
OK, I just finished reading the last 4 chapters... and, your so fantastic Aerisbolt. Every word fit perfect, and you did such a good job. Gosh, I can't imagine you getting any better.:huggle: Super-excellent-awesome- job Aerisbolt! :huggle:
aerisbolt - September 18, 2006 12:24 PM (GMT)
Wow, thanks goddess, I send along that fifty dollars for those kind words later :wink:
But it all seriousness I am glad you enjoyed it. I still have a long ways to go before being a good writer but as long as I improve with each story that is what is important to me. Well that and people enjoying the stories I write.
And as for the this story I need to fix a few things form the chapters but I may be leaving it at 5 chapters. I'll post again or edit my original post when it is officially done.
Thanks again goddess for the very kind words and to everyone else who read or is reading it. Again reviews are appreciated.
Enima - September 20, 2006 06:41 AM (GMT)
Hey there,
just finished reading your fic and quite enjoyed it :) .
Good job and by the way I also reviewed it before I forgot to.
Keep it up hun :huggle: :hug:
aerisbolt - September 21, 2006 05:50 PM (GMT)
Thank you so much Enima, I have looked over your stories as well and I think you are very talented. I am glad you enjoyed mine and thank you for the encouragement, I appreciate it. :huggle: