I've been working on my second fanfic for a little while now. Thanks to a thus far creatively stimulating Spring Break, I have FINALLY finished the first chapter! I guess there's going to be around five more chapters, but I hope to finish it up soon because I've been taking a rather unhealthily long break from my actual novel. Anyway, here's the first chapter to a fanfic I've entitled In the Absence of My Flower Girl.

It takes place after Advent Children, by the way. It doesn't really contain spoilers, but if you're worried then just don't look ;) . Hope you enjoy it!

In the Absence of My Flower Girl

Edit: By the way, this chapter's entitled "A Confession In Church."

I thoroughly enjoyed reading the first chapter of this fanfic, msz aeris strife! :wub:

I really love the way you write 'cos everything just flows so smoothly. Maybe it's just me, but sometimes, because of certain writing styles, I have a bit of a hard time catching onto what the writer is trying to portray. However, I didn't have a single problem reading your lovely piece of work. The whole confession scene was simply adorable. True that Cloud doesn't say much when he's around others, but it doesn't mean that he's a brick wall with no emotions or thoughts. It's nice to see you portray Cloud reflecting on his memories of the flower girl, and out loud too... :)

You absolutely must finish this fanfic. I'll be waiting to read the rest of it, and BTW...please share more of your work here with us.

:cleris:

When your novel comes out, lemme know and I'll be in line buying a copy. :D

My favourite part had to be during Cloud's confession as well. His inherent awkwardness completely and utterly spills out at that moment, and I loved how he kept correcting himself, trying to steer his thoughts in the 'right' direction but always returning to the core of his feelings in the end.

I also liked his interaction with Tifa. I don't buy the idea that things will turn out magically better between them after AC-- from what I saw in CoT, their problems surfaced because of their individual personalities, and not solely because of Geostigma and/or Cloud's guilt. I liked the strange sort of emptiness that was between them when Cloud came down for breakfast, despite Tifa's best efforts at reaching out to him. Cloud and Tifa seemed to communicate better through Marlene and Denzel rather than to each other directly in both CoT and AC, and the effects of the children's void is felt at the breakfast table.

One very small part that didn't quite appeal to me (very, very small... it's literally one sentence! :lol: ) was when, in the flashback, Cloud finally looks at Aerith in the church, and the description of her feels a bit over-the-top:

It's just personal preference, but I usually don't react well to descriptions that emphasise someone's beauty to such a degree. Of course, you didn't go into three paragraphs detailing every breathtaking sparkle in Aerith's emerald-green eyes, and that's awesome. But on the other hand, such a line does appeal to me if I see it as Cloud thinking it, making him sound a bit of a romantic despite his stoic demeanour. ;)

I also liked the irony of Aerith's dress slit. Good eye!

Anyway, I feel like you have Cloud's post-AC character down pat. He's open, but not too open; lighter, but not floating on rainbows. I definitely look forward to reading future chapters of this.

Oh, thanks so much!! I'm gonna try really, really hard to finish the next chapter by the end of the week. So, hopefully, I'll have an update soon. Thanks again :) .

Edit: Okay, all updated! I probably won't be updating this quickly in the future though :lol: .

Whoops, guess you already have a topic for it! Anyway, great story and please update soon!

It officially took me over a month, but In the Absence of My Flower Girl is finally finished. I think I could've done the ending better, but I hope everyone likes it anyway! Criticism or critique, I'd love to hear what you have to say about my first multifaceted fanfiction. Oh, and if Chapter 5 seems at all familiar, it's because I based it off a oneshot I posted here.

Can't wait to finish it! I'm gonna go read it right now!

@_@ Gah. This has got to be my favorite AC fanfic ever. ^^

Oh, wow! Thanks so much. :huggle: I'm really glad you liked it.

This....Is now my favorite Clerith fanfiction I have read so far. Its extremely in character, and your grammar is impeccable. Keep up the lovely work, msz aeris strife! :cleris: :fangirl: :huggle:

you know what, i cried!!!! this is such a tear jerker!!! I've already reviewed your fic as "Nobody's Flicker" :cray:

OMG, Msz Aeris Strife, your stories are fantastic!! Your such a great writer... omg, makes me feel like a such a amateur... :blush:
OMG, you fit everything in all SO perfectly! To the exact words, to scenes, everything was perfect...
You are indeed a superb writer. :cheer:

Holy moly. Everyone here's so nice! Thanks so much, guys. I'm really glad you all liked it. :blush: I did the best I could.

Kudos to the off-topicness of this thread for inspiring me, and getting my story rolling!

*applauds* Wonderful Fanfic!!! :D

Now I feel like reading the rest of your cleris fanfics.

:cleris:

*gives you a flower* :gift:

Hope your novel goes well.

... (beware, LONGLONGLONG post ahead!)

Zomg, I haven't even finished the whole story yet, and it already has brought a tear to my eye by 1st chapter (I'm up to the 3rd one now)! ;_; May God bless you and your one-of-a-kind flow, Msz Aeris Strife -- your writing is just so beautiful and so powerfully moving. I swear, I haven't been this touched EVER. <3 I guarantee that even a bored somebody who luckily stumbles aross your amazing fanfic and that has no clue WTF Cleris is (or what Final Fantasy is for that matter) would count this as such a tragic yet everlasting romance. Gawd, how everything in your work of art has lightened up my heart. I couldn't love Cleris any more than how much I do now, thanks to your emphasis on parts that I completely forgot about (yes, T_S is a tard). :sad: Now I look at things with more symbolism and goodness. Within them may bring someone such hope and warmth that it can make a difference in their happiness span. Sigh. The little, simple things in life. Good philosophy.

And I'm so dead serious. The settings, Cloud and Tifa's interaction, all characters, all the descriptions... they seem so nearly accurate! Damn girl, you got skill! x) I'm glad you got to touch on every little detail about Cloud's relationship with both Tifa and Aerith without a dash of bias. <3 I'm glad you didn't ignore Tifa's feelings for Cloud also. I learned from your POV that even little memories of that special flower girl mean so much to him. Ah, the emoness of love. ;_; Plus, to add on to my list of remarks you deserve: I also loved how you included flashbacks on parts where they show Cloud slowly realizing his true feelings for Aerith, then returning on how those impacted him now. The "memory" concept is indeed sad, and I'm so captivated with tears that he finally understands so much more with the love between him and Aerith. Memories play such importance in his life, even the "littlest" of them all... as mentioned earlier again heh ^^;... 'cause he now misses them deeply. This has strongly developed his feelings for her, and sadly, his regret. He now feels like he's running around with an empty part of him. I mean really, he's missing someone that is so truly dear to him. A natural flower girl who is just simply herself makes him so happy without even trying -- it's so heartbreaking! The more he remembers their happy times "together", the more it pains him about her absence. It's sad that their reach is so limited due to the boundaries of life and death. However it has no affect on how much love they can both give off to eachother. That condition can never touch one's strong affection. It's continuous by the feeling, not by the "physical" aspect. Long sigh. The loss of Aerith nails me down as well... ;_; *cries under her pillow* And, not only have you encircled Cloud's feelings for Aerith greatly, but vice versa as well! <3

MAN, I just cannot describe in words how awesomely beautiful your fanfic is! MUCHO KUDOS TO YOOUUU! <3 Honestly, I'm meaning so much more than I am rambling on & on about expressing in my craptastic comment. I'm gonna read off to finish your fic now, since it's sososo darn beautiful. Thank you for bringing such a moment in my life. *is so sappy right now* </3 Best wishes in all you try, and I don't think you even need our "good luck" greetings because your writing is so pure that you'd succeed a professional by first paragraph! :lol: Let's face it -- you're a natural. And I'll prolly be battling in place on line with Lynn for your novel, sweetie. Excellent work to the fullest~ <3

Oh em gee, everybody's so nice! :lol: Thank you, thank you, thank you so much, TS. What an ego boost. :dance: I'm so glad you liked it. You pretty much got everything I was trying to portray. Nice reading skills. :D Thanks again. I hope you like the ending.

Snowyowl, I'm glad you also enjoyed it! I haven't written any other Clerith fics as of this moment. But I have a decent-lengthed oneshot brewing in my mind. So maybe if I find enough of a break from my novel, I'll try to type that out. Warning in advance though... I have the feeling it's going to be pretty angsty. :whistle:

Thanks for letting me know what you thought everybody. ^_^

OMG! I read the whole story and I liked it so much! Your a good writer! Loved it!
I cried a few parts in the story :sad: (.......) :cleris:

LOL, i cried at tht. it was soooo sad! why doesn't cloud remember her in his dream thingy? but neway! i rly enjoyed it! :fangirl:

I loved reading your fanfic I wish I could write like you I am lame at writing Hope everything go's well with your Novel. But I will try to Write a cute Cleris Fanfic You have inspired me in so may ways.

If I need any help whould it be okay if I ask for help?

with your writing it makes the scean so realistic. I actuly thought I was watching over Cloud and Aeris Thanks for inspiring me L.O.L :D

Thank you. It makes me happy to know that my story was enjoyed. And of course, I love feedback! :gift:

I would answer your question, but I don't know which part you're referring to. *spoilers for my story... so don't keep reading this unless you've already read my fic*During the actual timeline of the story, Cloud has two dreams of Aerith. In chapter 5, he dreams of when she died. In chapter 6, Aerith enters his dreams and talks to him. Both times, he definitely remembers her. If you're referring to chapter 4, Cloud isn't actually having a dream of Aerith... he's remembering a dream he had of her back during the timeline of the game. Part of what's bringing Cloud pain is that he has so many memories of her, but he wants her to be more than just a memory. The only part I can think of is back in the first chapter, when Cloud's in the church. After "confessing" to Aerith, he falls asleep while remembering the day he met her. Then it goes to a flashback on when they first met. If that's the part you're referring to, it was just a memory. And that was pretty much directly from the game. I just rewrote some of their lines. *end of spoilers*

First of all, thanks for the compliments and reading. :blush: I'm hoping my novel goes okay too (not so sure it will... but we'll see).

If you want help, please don't hesitate to ask. I'm not the writing expert, but I'll try to offer any advice I can. I've grown to the level of writing I'm at-- just a note, I don't think I'm very good in case that sounded stuck up-- by asking my older brother (a published writer) questions all the time. And reading On Writing by Stephen King helped a lot too.

I tried to make sure that the reader could visualize what was going on... so I guess it's a good thing you got that effect. And I guess... your welcome for the inspiration. :lmao:

Again, thanks so much everyone. Your feedback is much appreciated, and you've all been endlessly kind in your words of encouragement. :blush: I am, at the moment, working on a Clerith oneshot that takes place many years after Advent Children. I have about 1,000 words so far, but don't expect to see it until after some MAJOR editing.

I can't say this enough... thank you!

LOL! i didn't no there were chapters... *thick clare* <_< im stoooopid! i'll go read the other chapters now! but i really enjoyed the first one neway! x

Oh, okay! Yeah, there are six chapters. Just in case you don't know how to get the other five, there's a menu in the top right corner of the page with the first chapter. Just click on that, and it has all the chapters. Hope you like the rest of the story! ^_^

omg... i red it all, n i cryed non-stop! :cray: it was so beautiful :) loved it! xx

So far im reading the first chapter and im liking it already :)

xCxS: I'm glad you loved it! Yeah, there was a lot more than just that first chapter. ;)

lenne: Awesome! Hope you enjoy the rest. ^_^

:sad: I read this on FF before, but I didn't realize you were the author!!! It was simply one of the most beautiful stories I've ever read, and it made me cry :cry: You're a very talented Clerith writer!! ^_^

After reading your other fanfic i had to read this one!!! i love it Sandahna! your a very talented writer! I loved everything about it! i was hooked on the first chapter!

Kudos to your work! i want more hehehehe

Sadhana, this was just an awesome fanfic, I abslolutely loved it. I feel like no matter what compliments I try to put here it would just be lame in comparison to your story but I will try anyway. :blush:

I am with everyone else who commented. You are truly a gifted writer, you made my heart break for Cloud all over again, I, the reader was suffering right there with him. You captured both Cloud and Aeris so well. I cried too, it was so beautiful and your ending
*Spoiler*

It was one of the first to truly satisfy my wish for their reunion, I always felt that in some way even in fanfics I would be disappointed with the way it happened, but honestly it was amazing and just unbelievably romantic. Thank you so much for sharing this with us, just an amazing job. :huggle: :cleris:

Hey everyone! Just thought that I'd let the world know that I rewrote the last chapter of the story. Keep in mind, the actual storyline of it is still the same. But I made some major improvements in regards to how it was written. I realize that most people wouldn't notice these changes if I didn't mention it, but since they're a really big deal to me, I decided to let everyone know about it. :lol:

Why, you snarky thing! xDDD

*re-prints last chapter and keeps both editions*

Amazing. I agree; the changes are astounding, and I have to say, your writing has gotten even better since the first publication. :wub: