I often see topics asking advice or just venting about things that happen with their friends. So I thought it might make a nice topic to discuss, since it's one of the most important relationships you can have.

Some questions I'd like to put here are, How easily does a friendship end, or should end? Do you feel you have many friends? Are internet friendships as real as friendships you have with people in person? What sort of troubles have you faced with friends, and did you overcome them? What to you defines a friend?

I myself actually don't have a large amount of friends, mostly because I take friendships so seriously, and the fact I am so shy it can be hard to get to know many people. Also, I have the bad luck of having my close friends moving, and then moving myself. These days, most my close relationships are online ones. I really value them, because I feel they are as supportive, and occationally, drama filled as normal in person ones.

Some of my troubles I have with friends is the fact I am too loyal, and don't like to end a friendship even if I get hurt because of them. I've probably only ended one friendship, and that was because of an extremely serious betrayal that seriously damaged me, and took a long time to get over, if I even have.

To me, a friend would be someone who will be ready to help the other no matter how troubled they are at the time. They would never intentionally hurt the other, and would be accepting of the other's flaws, because they understand they have their own. They will apologize if they've hurt the other, and forgive if that person is truly a friend despite how they've hurt you.

A friendship can be just as special as a love, and in a sense is a love. If there is a real friendship, they will never hurt you enough that you would have to end one. A real friend will not try to hurt the other, and a real friend will try to be understanding.


So, please put your thoughts here!

How easily does a friendship end, or should end?

A friendship, like anything else, can end quickly. Being realistic, nothing is forever and that includes a friendship. They can end over the stupidest or deepest things or just fade away. I'm not saying that every friendship is doomed to fail or disappear. There are those friendships that last a lifetime, but those are the ones truely worked hard to maintain. If one person(or persons) is not willing to work to maintain that bond, you have to ask yourself... is it worth it? Every friendship should be worth fighting for, but there is a time when if it just won't work out- maybe you and the other are just better off apart.

I have a friend who I'm considering to end our friendship with. I put my heart and soul into being his friend and making sure our relationship would last a long time. But recently, he really hurt me(not physically, but spiritually and mentally). He hurt me so badly, that it created a huge rift between us- one that doesn't look like it can be fixed. :no: I'm sad that our friendship is ending, but I've worked so hard to maintain it and ignoring that fact that he hasn't... that I've neglected my own happiness. I'm not happy... and I shouldn't feel this way with a person I thought was a friend. His betrayal runs deep and it has left it's marks. He is just purely unforgivable at this point...

Do you feel you have many friends?

No, not really. I'm shy and its hard for me to get really close to someone or opening up to someone. And, like you Taco, I take friendships very seriously, so I'm cautious when it comes to forming bonds with others. I want to make sure that the person I'm affiliating myself to is truely genuine. But the friendships that I have formed, as few as it may seem, I do cherish with all my heart.

Are internet friendships as real as friendships you have with people in person?

Of course! Any person that you've felt strongly connected to, whether it be in real life or the internet, is as real as any friendship. I've formed close friendships with some of the members here. I may not know them in real life or we may be miles or oceans apart, but I consider them just as important to the friends I have in real life. I seriously can't think of life without the friends I have met over the internet and this forum. And sometimes I feel like I can talk to them more than I can talk to my real life friends.

What to you defines a friend?

I agree with the definition you've given, Taco. A friend would never try to hurt you in any way. If you're hurt, they'll be there to make that pain go away. A friend will support you no matter the circumstances and will catch you if you fall. They'll accept your flaws and help you with any type of problem, be it small or big.

Believe it or not, I'm quite anti-social and didn't form any permanent friendships.

I don't even remember my friends from school anymore. So...

I guess for me it's normal for friendship, especially when it has too many factors involved with it, to just curl up and die, so I never really gave much thought on this. However, my sisters had very strong bonds with their best friends, and it has lasted for years. I envy them for that sometimes, but I'm happy with what I am now.

In your predicament, its really up to you what kind of friend you'd want to have. You said you'll never hurt your friend, then I think a friend should never hurt you as well.