this fanfic is based just after Aeris and Cloud's date they spend a romantic night together once you have read it tell me what you thought. So here go's

Whenever sang my songs
On the stage, on my own
Whenever said my words
Wishing they would be heard
I saw you smiling at me
Was it real or just my fantasy
You'd always be there in the corner
Of this tiny little bar

Aeris laid in Cloud’s arm’s they had just come back from a date it was wonderful first they went to the stage arena and. They the millionth couple of the night got a role in play Aeris was the princess and Cloud was the prince who had to save her from the evil dragon king the part she loved the most was when he kissed her hand she didn’t know how soft and sweet his lip’s where until he kissed her hand. Then on the Gondola she told him about her undying love for him and with out warning they kissed each other on the lips at first she was scared and wondering why she kissed him then he told her everything would be okay when he held her while she was crying because she got a bit scared thinking she would lose her life soon because she heard the planet’s cry telling her she would die soon then he whispered something in her ear that she would never forget “Aeris I love you so much more than a friend I want to hold you and love you for the rest of my life I love you” he had said in her ear and now she found herself in his bed staring into his loving eye’s she smiled.

My last night here for you
same old songs, just once more
my last night here with you?
Maybe yes, maybe no
I kind of liked it your way
how you shyly placed your eyes on me

He smiled back “I love you” he whispered she blushed “I love you too” she whispered back he put his left arm around her and his right hand played with her Silky Brown hair.
“I know this will only be the time we get to spend together because…I soon will be dead” she said sadly he avoided her gaze. “Why is life so unfair I want to spend every living moment with you I wont let you die I just wont let you I don’t want to be with anyone except you Aeris” he said not looking at her “I have to die to save the planet I don’t want to give up my life but it is the only way” she whispered then he looked back into her emerald green eye’s she noticed tear’s in his eye’s. “Don’t cry for me I will always be in your heart” she said in a soothing voice “ I just wanted to spend longer with you that is all” he said then she placed her hand on the side of his face.
“Shush this is long enough we get to spend a whole night together” she said.

Oh, did you ever know?
That I had mine on you

Then she leaned in “now I’m going to kiss you and savour the moment” she said then he smiled and pushed his lip’s on hers she slowly rubbed the side of his face he kissed her with all his heart he loved this woman so much and he wasn’t about to let her go during the night then she pulled away “feeling better darling” she asked. “Much better let’s just forget our worries for tonight and just relax with each other” he said “that sound’s a good idea” she giggled then she found herself being kissed on the nose she monad and dug her finger nail’s into his back he did not mind her doing it what ever made her comfy he would let her.
(so that is my fic so far i will continue it when i get some reviews

SQUENESS!!! :fangirl: Man, I'm squeeing my head off right now!!! That was beautiful!!!! :luv: I love the romance :wub:, and I especially loved the part when they are getting al close :blush:. A few grammatical mistakes here :hmm:, but this fanction is still awesome. I'm gonna add this to my fanfic collection :dance:. I'm really loving this story, so please update soon :yahoo:!!! Thanx :huggle:!! :lol:

It'll be interesting to see where your story goes. My mind is registering "date + moan + bed" = lemon. :lol: Or maybe I've read too many lemons and PWPs to look at monad and dug her finger nail’s into his back in any other way.

Paragraphs are very important, though. Nobody wants to read a giant wall of text. Break up each paragraphs into smaller ones, and especially start a new line everytime somebody different speaks. It looks neater and makes it easier on the eyes.

Punctuation is also important. Sometimes run-on sentences help a story, but not when it comes to a narration. The following is a very long, single sentence that could definitely use some breaking up:

If you have a friend who can beta-read for you (i.e. someone who can give you criticism and opinions, correcting spelling, punctuation etc. before you publish your fic), that would be good too. Just to pick up the smaller errors that would bypass your own eyes.

But I like the fear you showed through Aerith. It reminds me that, at the core of all that Cetra-Human blood, is just a 22-year old girl who was just starting to see the world.

And if this is gonna turn into a lemon, do let a Mod know so that we can include an appropriate warning somewhere. :lol:

That's the song from FF8 right? The one Rinoa's mom sang for Laguna, and the song you hear in the Ragnarock when Rinoa and Squall have a special moment, right? That went so well with your fanfic! great job! keep it up!