In a post in another thread in the forum, I made a comment about my view on relationships, rather, my FEAR of them.

I guess I do kinda want some advice, since I'm 23 years old...my mother was married and pregnant with me when she was 21 years old. I know it's only 2 years difference, but my grandparents and mother arent getting younger, and so far there are no grandchildren/great grandchildren.

Basically what it boils down to is that I'm afraid of men...I'm not a lesbian, because I've thought about it, but I dont think I'd like to try and be with another woman in a sexual relationship. I think it may have something to do with not having a father figure all my life. I havent physically seen my father since I was 11 years old. I get cards, and once in a great great while pictures, and letters. I've been around grandpa, but this is different...he's not really been much of a father figure either, since the only time we communicate is if I need the car fixed.

Continuing on...ha..(get sidetracked)...Every guy I've been with, I've really crushed on for a long time, but when it comes to the kissing (hugging is fine) or intimancy (sp?), I get nervous and push them away. I even stop talking to them sometimes, which, in turn makes them feel worse for the wear, and I hate feeling like such a b*tch to them. I like the idea of falling in love, and getting married possibly (kids...dunno, I want to adopt) in the future.

What is everyone's thoughts on this? Am I normal? Too uptight? I'm not getting any younger, and I hate being the oldest grandchild and not being the responsible married girl that my family believes that I should be. *sigh*

I'm not really intimate myself. I can't even bring myself to hug my friends (male OR female), and when I do it feels rather awkward and I want to let go as quickly as possible-- so let's not even go into hugging/kissing in a relationship. I won't explain why because I really don't know myself, except that it likely has something to do with how I grew up rarely hugging my own family members either.

But I don't think you should burden yourself with thoughts of marriage and children just yet. I mean, of course, think about it once in a while, but don't let it hang over you like a heavy, black cloud. My own mother got married at 32. I came popping out a year later.

So I personally think 23 is still very young, young enough that you still needn't worry excessively about getting married just yet.

I'm 20 and have yet to have a relationship :no: there isn't one single girl that I have met that has any interest in me, it be nice to be with someone, but I have yet to find anyone, but theres nothing about me that would spark any interest in anyone, so I'll just have to keep looking and deal with this loneliness :)

I'd like to have a family one day, really want a daughter :D

Well what it boils down to is that you have no say over chooseing a set time to get married/fall in love, it just HAPPENS,so my advice is to just be open.
Of course than again i'm a 16 year old whose never been in a relationship but hey I observe,and personally i'd like to get married at 18,why? I feel i'm ready i'm just one of those people who really would rather not like to be alone and avoid it at all costs plus I like being around people I hate being alone..wait I allready said that ok,well i'm also clingy and obessive lol. I'd like to have kids before 25 but the thought of "having kids" scares the hell out of me,well honestly it's not the "kids part" it's the idea of sacrificing your body for a year and than that one dreaded day where you feel the most excrutiating pain in your life,fun,fun. Yes adoption is good. :lol:

Is it really fear of intimacy? Maybe you're just not a touchy person, girl. :D This is my opinion, so, yeah, I think that maybe you're not quite ready for a relationship. It's good that you're decided on your sexual preference. But, yeah, don't get married and have kids because your family demands (or hints) at it--you should get married when you want to get married. And similarly, get into a relationship when you want to. You're young by my standards, and there's no need to hurry! Single women actually get more respect now than before in my opinion.

(Okay, just so you know, I'm 17, female, heterosexual and I've never had a relationship before. Maybe I'm not the right person to say this, but we're similar in that I don't like touching people and I'm not ready for a relationship yet. Hehe, yeah.)

Don't worry! I'm sure you find someone you really want to share your life with. :D
Just take it easy. These things take time sometimes.True love is inevitable. It will come someday.
:D

Well since i was 12 i'v had two serious (Making out) relationships.

But not had one in four years and i hafta say it hurts; the loneliness is diffrent after you have had a deeper relationship.

Personally i have no trouble with intimacy and kissing/touching.

I just look forward to being in a position to get another partner.