Every time I think that the ongoing nightmare that commenced for Florida Democrats in 2000 can't possibly get any worse (which I had yet again wrongly thought yesterday morning as I cast my primary ballot), it up and DOES!

I am so livid right now at one John Kerry, and at the Obama campaign, that I could just spit nails!!!!! I don't even know where to start, but I'll just jump in anywhere and hope that this rant won't be too incoherent. White-hot RAGE tends to lead to incoherence in me, sad to say. Because coherence would be so welcomed right now, as this is IMPORTANT, peeps.

John Kerry, speaking for the Obama campaign in an official conference call that included Obama's campaign manager and reporters, said the following re Florida's Democratic primary yesterday:

"It is not a legitimate race. It should not become a spin race. It should not become a fabricated race. It should not become the very kind of politics that I think the Obama campaign and a lot of us are trying to reject."

Again, where do I start?

1. The Florida Democratic primary was not a "fabricated race". It was the real primary of four million registered Democratic voters in the state of Florida. The date was set by the REPUBLICAN-controlled legislature in violation of both parties rules, so the DNC decided to strip Florida of all our delegates to the convention, which is a topic for another post (and I've already written many such posts on that one!), but apparently it was within the party's legal rights to do that, even though it was the most self-destructive thing to come along since Britney Spears. But okay, the DNC stripped us of our delegates. We have no delegates. But the primary was still the primary and not a "fabrication"! We still had a record turnout of Democratic voters, the biggest turnout in primary history. We had more voters turn out than turned out in Iowa, NH, NV and SC combined. And the results of our primary were the LEGITIMATE results, the legitimate voices of the Florida voters. Those results won't result in delegates, but they are still the REAL results of a REAL primary!!!!!!!!!

There is no earthly reason that makes ANY sense whatsoever for Kerry/the Obama campaign to go on the attack towards four million Democratic voters in the biggest swing state in the nation that Obama NEEDS in November, if he becomes the nominee, by telling us that our votes are "fabricated" and "illegitimate"! The Obama camp should be quietly celebrating and thanking their maker that no delegates are being awarded, and publically all they need to say about the Florida race is something like "Well, we now look forward to being able to campaign in Florida and having the opportunity to win over the hearts and minds of the voters before the general election." PERIOD! The end! WHY send out John Kerry of all people to try to trash the primary election's legitimacy? It was completely UNNECESSARY and boneheaded! Which brings me to:

2. Why would Obama choose John Kerry, of all people, to speak for him and his campaign? That right there indicates that he is too inexperienced to become president! John Kerry's specialty is tone-deafness and shooting any campaign he is involved with fatally with "friendly fire"! Obama deciding "Gee, let's send Kerry out to dis the Democratic voters of Florida! Yeah! That's the ticket, that's what we need to do now, looking forward to the general election!" REALLY tells me that, Houston, we have a problem with Obama's JUDGEMENT and common sense!

3. I thought Obama was supposed to be all about the politics of inclusion and unity? Is this sort of unnecessary, clueless, asanine attack the "Change we can believe in"? If so, deal me OUT, baby.

I PRAY now that Obama does not become our nominee. Because having to cast my ballot for him in November would be about a BILLION times more distasteful to me than casting my ballot for Hillary was yesterday, and that was bad enough.

Finally, I posit these questions: Are my fellow Democrats EVER going to stop attacking the four million Democrats of Florida for something we had no control over? Do they remember 2000? Don't you (they) think that maybe just maybe the Democrats of Florida have been through ENOUGH? Do we need members of our own party attacking us unnecessarily, calling the results of the biggest Florida Democratic primary turnout in history a "fabrication"? Do they want to win in 2008? Do they have Clue One about ANYTHING?

What the H*LL is wrong with our party?

...I was wrong to put "Finally" in there, as there is one more thing: I have now officially gone from merely not seeing what other people see in Obama and fearing he is all slogans and no substance, to actively detesting him.

End of rant. Thank God you guys are here for me to rant to. I don't know what I'd do without this forum sometimes.

These are very painful times for Florida Democrats.

edited to add: P.S. I forgot to say a fourth infuriating thing about the Obama camp's statements of yesterday evening: they are also saying that the HUGE landslide for Hillary is not really representative of anything because the candidates couldn't campaign in Florida, so obviously the clueless and uninformed voters of Florida just voted for the candidate with more "name recognition". Um, hello, here's a news flash: we have TELEVISION in Florida, complete with C-SPAN and networks and CNN and MSNBC and everything. We have newspapers. We have the INTERNET. We even have indoor plumbing. We are capable of making informed decisions about the candidates, thank you very much. Our primary was not "fabricated" and our choices were not clueless. We don't need the presence of slick campaign ads on TV and candidates actually here shaking our hands to inform ourselves on the SUBSTANCE of the candidates and their positions.

Our race was real. Our votes were informed. We have no delegates. Isn't that "punishment" enough? Do you really need to TRASH us, too? Is it helpful to try to totally dismiss our primary and our votes? Is that going to win you Florida in the general election? This kind of new politics of inclusion is really tricky, as it FEELS, looks and smells more like dismissiveness, alienation, spin-doctoring, tone-deafness, short-sightedness and just plain cluelessness.

God, I hope this man (Obama) does not become the nominee of my party.

P.S. Update:

I tried to parlay my furious, incoherent rant above into an actual letter to the editor of my city's paper, which is a very well-respected paper in the region and one of the few independent papers left in the country. Usually, my letters to same get published, so we shall see this time. I hope this one does because I want the world to get that slogans about inclusion and unity and change need to be backed up with substantive ideas and congruous actions. Otherwise, you are just a fluff-filled hypocrite, now aren't you?

...Yeah, I'm not in too much of a white-hot rage this fine a.m., now am I?!

I'm just saying!

It was Kerry calling our primary a "fabrication" that finally put me over the ever-lovin' TOP, people. This has been building up in me since election night 2000, so eventually I had to BLOW! God help all the tiny villages below in the path of my lava *lol*!

You know hangingchad, here in WA State our primary does not select any Democratic delegates. Our primary is a beauty contest. We're not throwing a fit over it. If we want to influence our State delegation we take a little extra time and go to the Democratic party caucuses. There is plenty of time between now and the convention for Florida Democrats to set up a State Caucus and have their delegates count. Why haven't they got on this? Do they think if they just get mad enough and hold their breath a long time they'll get special treatment and Democrats will change the rules for them?

Hillary would likely lose to John McCain and would drag the country through more excruciating years of the Clinton family drama if she did win. She is one of the most politically polarizing figures in America. John Edwards is quitting the race. If we don't want another 4 or 8 years of Republicans running the White House in my humble opinion it's time for all Democrats, Progressives, Independents, and fair-minded Republicans to rally behind our next President: Barack Obama

He's not my first choice either, I would rather have Al Gore, and my second choice would be John Kerry, but it's time to do this

ducking for incoming flak :o

I agree with you, Wayne. I just don't see where John Kerry or Obama can be faulted for Florida being stripped of their delegates. I must admit, I don't know all the ins and outs the the caucuses, etc., but that makes sense. Why doesn't Florida do that?

Obama wasn't my first choice either, but Gore isn't in the race, so I'm going with Obama as my 2nd choice. I believe he is the best choice and can do some good in bringing our Country together.

"You know hangingchad, here in WA State our primary does not select any Democratic delegates. Our primary is a beauty contest. We're not throwing a fit over it."

Well, we in Florida ARE.

"If we want to influence our State delegation we take a little extra time and go to the Democratic party caucuses. There is plenty of time between now and the convention for Florida Democrats to set up a State Caucus and have their delegates count. Why haven't they got on this? Do they think if they just get mad enough and hold their breath a long time they'll get special treatment and Democrats will change the rules for them?"

You'd have to ask the Republican legislature, they are the ones who changed the primary date, so they are the ones who would know what they were thinking would happen from that action. This thread is not ranting about no delegates, this thread is ranting about Obama and John Kerry choosing to trash Florida Democrats and our primary by calling it a "fabrication". It is not a fabrication. We are not uninformed. And the results are not illegitimate. We have no delegates, but we still cast our votes. Obama and his little ASANINE attack dog, Kerry (who I am really scared to learn is your second choice for the Democratic nominee--that is horrifying to me, as he can't even get through a campaign--his own or that of anyone he endorses--without torpedoeing it with his own clueless remarks) had no reason to say all these offensive, incorrect, dismissive and alienating things!!! All they had to do was sit back and bask in the fact that all of Hillary's Florida delegates won't count! They could have said something like they look forward to winning Florida in the general election, and that's IT.

Why call our record turnout and 2 million votes cast a "fabrication"? That is not true, not necessary to say, and not SMART to say.

Whether the DNC should or shouldn't have stripped Florida of its delegates is another issue. The issue today that I'm ranting about is that Obama and Kerry completely dismissed the results of a legitimate primary (last time I looked, states can set their own primary dates, and if the parties don't want to seat delegates because they broke the rule by a few DAYS, then that is apparently their right, but the election results themselves are still the legitimate election results, regardless of if the garner any delegates to the convention). A legitimate primary was held in Florida yesterday with record turnout of over two million voters. The results are not a "fabrication". They are not resulting in delegates, but they are not a "fabrication". A fabrication would be if the results were somehow made up (you know, like in the 2000 election, for example, now THERE was a "fabrication"!). This was two million registered voters voting. No fabrication involved. NONE. Kerry was therefore misrepresenting reality. Therein lies my rage.

Again, I'm terrified that you actually wish Kerry were the nominee. The last thing we need for president is someone who can't issue forth even one soundbyte EVER without sticking his foot in his mouth to the tune of ruining entire campaigns.

"I agree with you, Wayne. I just don't see where John Kerry or Obama can be faulted for Florida being stripped of their delegates."

:!:
NO ONE is faulting Kerry or Obama for Florida being stripped of its delegates. That blame is shared among the Republican-controlled state legislature of Florida and the DNC.

Because it would cost the Florida Democratic party millions of dollars and no one would show up, that's why.

Enjoy your fluff-filled sloganeering hypocrite, if he is elected, then. I will vote for him if he becomes the nominee of my party. But until then, I will continue to call him out for being all smoke and mirrors.

In regards to the issue of Kerry calling the results a "fabrication", I haven't read that as of yet, but even so, I have no doubt that if the shoe were on the other foot, that Hillary or her husband or one of her campaign people would perhaps utter the same thing. If we are going to hold this comment against Kerry, then let's examine some of the things that Hillary and Bill have said. The remark about "MLK couldn't have gotten anything done without the President LBJ passing the legislation" was uncalled for. As a white person, I found it offensive.

I also think it's been inappropriate for Bill to interject himself into the election and the remarks he made in South Carolina saying Hillary wouldn't be able to win because all the blacks would go for Obama. I thought it was lame and shallow. They are trying to project Obama as playing the race card when it is really them.

I'll leave it at that because we shouldn't be arguing over things like this. If Hillary gets the nom, I will most likely be forced to vote for her but that's not the kind of attitude I want from my future President.

Edited to add (after reading your post): In regards to you criticizing my choice for the nom, I think your accusations are unfounded and I think we need to respect each others choices. <_<

Hangingchad, I understand that you're angry. If I was prone to anger I could take offense at some of your remarks about Dean, Kerry and Obama as well. But I won't.

To me it seemed like a big game of chicken. Florida Dems knew before this election was ever held that it was in violation of the rules of the national Democratic Party. They were told if they did this they would lose their delegates. Therefore how can you say it was a legitimate primary? John Edwards and Barack Obama did not campaign there and did not advertise there because they knew it was a primary that the Florida Republican legislature decided to move outside the rules of the Democratic primary. The National Parties have a right to set their own rules and no, they don't have to accept state results that break the rules. Florida has lost it's game of chicken.

Nobody wants to hurt the people of Florida, not Howard Dean, Donna Brazil or any of the Dems you're so angry at. It wasn't about Florida, it was about keeping States from tearing apart the process so each one could try to cut in line. I think there is still time to fix it and have Florida choose all the delegates they deserve. It really doesn't cost a lot of money to hold a State Caucus, and if Florida Dems are willing to do it, the national Party should chip in and help pay for it.

$0.02
:Y:

Wayne (and TexanforGore), I'm sorry I got so worked up, but I just don't want you to misunderstand my anger at Kerry and Obama as being about Florida not having delegates to the convention. I know they had nothing to do with that. All I know is that my cork has popped out of my bottle and this has been building up since election night of 2000 (in other words, for SEVEN years) and something about John Kerry calling the election results a "fabrication" put me sailing over the top, and now even my normally decent writing ability has gone flying out the ever-lovin' window!

But what I MEANT was nothing to do with the delegates--we've lost those. And that is not Kerry or Obama's fault. So, had they said that the election was merely a "beauty contest" or whatever, I wouldn't be spazzing out right now. Please understand that. It is true that it wasn't their fault that the delegates were taken away. The blame for that rests on a combo of the Florida state legislature (for moving up the primary date) and the DNC. But what I'm in a total and utter rage over is Kerry (and Obama, Kerry was Obama's mouthpiece on this) saying that the election results themselves are not legitimate and are a fabrication. The delegates are a separate issue. We don't have any. And that should be enough for the Obama campaign--they should have just quietly and gracefully moved on to Super Tuesday, breathing a sigh of relief that our delegates won't be seated. But no, they opted to say that the election results themselves are a "fabrication" and that the voters didn't know what they were doing because the candidates couldn't campaign in Florida. But it's the bit about the results being "fabricated" that has rendered me a steamed vegetable. You call a record two million registered Democrats turning out and voting their INFORMED consciences "fabricated"?

Where was the need for him to say that? Why did Obama have to come out on the attack to club down two million voters who voted? We already don't have delegates, leave us alone! But no, he goes and calls us, ourselves, woefully uninformed and the results, themselves, a "fabrication".

In fact, I am so upset that I take back what I said about voting for Obama if he becomes the nominee. If Obama becomes the nominee of my party, for the first time in my entire life, I might not vote for a Democrat in the presidential election. I won't be voting for a Republican either. And I sure as heck won't be voting for Ralph Nader if he gets in, as he has caused most of what has led up to my complete and total nervous breakdown that is unfolding before you as we speak! I don't know what I'll do. I wish Gore would run as an independent but I know that he, like me, is a loyal Democrat even when the party acts as self-destructive and crazy as a jay bird. ...That said, loyal to my Democratic party and ideals though I am to the core, I cannot in good conscience vote for someone who calls the votes of two million people a fabrication, or worse, has his mouthpiece do it. The two million of us are very real. He'll find that out in November.

Maybe Obama will clarify his opinion on this, maybe I'll calm down with that and/or time, maybe I'll learn other good things about Obama that outweigh the bad, maybe I'll be able to vote in November, I'm not sure right now. Right now it is just all coming to a head, all seven years, and ironically my anger is against my own party at the moment, which might be tragically misplaced.

In fact, there is only one thing I know for sure: Kerry shouldn't have called yesterday's primary results a "fabrication". Because the man has gone and cost me my sanity...what there was of it. GONE. As a Florida Democrat, that one did it. I was at the tipping point, and that one put me over the top.

If anyone is looking for me, you will find me in a rubber room, rocking incessantly back and forth chanting 4 8 15 16 23 42!

P.S. Wayne, to answer your question about why the Florida Democratic Party didn't opt to set alternative caucuses, I share this link to the answer to that very question on their website:

http://www.fladems.com/page/content/makeitcount-faqs/#q10

I agree, Texan for Gore, I shouldn't have gotten that way about your choice to vote for Obama. I thought about that as I drove off to get some much-needed lunch after posting that. I do respect you and your right to choose your favorite candidate and I'm sorry I got so worked up there.

I'm sorry too, hangingchad. I understand why you're upset. Florida DOES matter and it always will. Just look how much it mattered in 2000. We were all "hanging by a chad," hoping Florida would go to Gore. :( This election has been one hell of a roller coaster ride - and yes, nothing's been right since the stolen election of 2000. I think that's why this election is so important to everyone.

I certainly agree with you about Gore running. I wanted so badly for that to happen. I guess John Edwards dropping out makes that hope of a brokered convention even slimmer, huh?

I'll tell you this. My mother would certainly agree with you. She supports Hillary and as you know, I'm going for Obama unless there are any significant changes in the race. So you could imagine the debates that my mother & I get into. We can get a little testy, but we chill out in the end. As long as a Democrat wins, I'm okay with that. I think we've all had enough of this Republican hell. I loathe "Saint John McCain" as James puts it . The media has definitely annointed him a saint, haven't they?

So, in the midst of a heated campaign, John Kerry may have made a poor choice of words when he said "fabrication". Lash him with a wet noodle. I have enormous respect for John Kerry. He has a record of trying to do the right thing for America for the last freakin' 37 years since he spoke out as a Vietnam Veteran against the war in 1971. You know he meant no disrespect to Florida voters. His point was to respond to the HRC campaign which won Florida under different circumstances than a normal primary. If Obama and Edwards did not travel there or advertise there then how much does a Florida win really mean for Hillary. I think that's all that was intended.

Kerry had it right. It was a beauty contest. No one campaigned there. You broke the rules and wouldn't change so now live with the fact that your delegates won't be seated at the convention.

True, I have to give him props there.

AlGoreFan, we (the Florida Democrats, and even the Florida Democratic Party) cannot change the primary date set by the state. In this state, it is the state legislature that sets the primary date.

Also, how one feels about the delegate situation is almost beside the point here, the point is that Kerry was saying the primary election and results are a "fabrication". No, it was a real election with real voters, millions strong, and the results are real and valid. Our "punishment" for violating DNC rules is that our delegates have been stripped away. Whether one thinks that is a fair punishment or not is a SEPERATE argument/issue. But the fact is, the election WAS held yesterday and the results themselves were VALID, not a "fabrication". Whether it was a "beauty contest" or not is a seperate issue. But it WAS a real election with valid results.

Texan for Gore, here is an article that has the quote in which Kerry says that:

http://miamiherald.typepad.com/nakedpoliti...ml?cid=99245248

Wayne, I see why you say that but you have to understand, it does not feel like that to us Democrats in Florida. Enraged as I must seem half the time on this board, I am actually a reasonable, logical, very fair person and I understand that the DNC couldn't just have chaos, which could result from allowing one state to break the rules. However, their punishment was draconian. But again, the delegate situation is not what I'm "on about" in this thread. I just bring it up to say in response to what I just quoted by you here, it feels like Dean, Brazile, Kerry et al. ARE out to hurt the Democrats of Florida, even though that wouldn't make sense, be fair, or be good for the party, certainly.

But take these comments by Kerry. WHY make them? There are no delegates at stake, so just gracefully move along to super Tuesday, ya know? No need to worry that Hillary won Florida, it is a "beauty contest". But it isn't a fabrication. It was an election involving registered voters who are being disenfranchised for the second time. Couldn't Kerry and Obama just leave it at that instead of pouring salt in the wound and then adding a little meat tenderizer?

I mean, I see your quote...yet ask anyone in Florida today and they will feel exactly as I do.

Hangingchad, after reading the article, it's obvious that Kerry's words were taken out of context. When he said Florida does not matter, to me, he is not referring to the voters themselves. He is talking about it in terms of the delegates because they were taken away. When he says "fabricated," he is referring to the fact that the Clinton campaign is trying to "make Florida count." They are trying to "fabricate" the race there.

Of course, every state should count, but since rules were violated, that's why Florida does not count (in terms of candidates receiving delegates).

And all candidates were aware of this from the get-go and now for Hillary to say all of a sudden that Florida should count (since she won there and in Michigan) is unfair. I bet if Obama had won there, she wouldn't care if Florida counted or not.

Heck, she ignores Iowa and South Carolina... you get the picture. If she doesn't win it practically didn't even happen.

Yeah, I do get the picture and you would think she wouldn't want to be that obvious.

I see what you are saying. There is a chance--just a CHANCE, mind you--that I may have overreacted just a wee hair yesterday.

I don't know what happened, but Kerry's words hit me like the proverbial "straw that broke the camel's back", and I just LOST IT, MAAAHN.

Wayne, I thought about what you wrote yesterday, about Kerry's 37 years of impressive service and how he spoke out against Viet Nam in '71. I guess I can give him a pass on one ill-chosen word or two. I just hope my city's paper doesn't print my letter to the editor I zapped off to them yesterday. Never zap off anything into cyberspace when you are UPSET...I thought I'd learned that lesson long ago, but apparently not.

It's just, I wish the members of my own party, such as Howard Dean, Donna Brazile, John Kerry, etc., would take just a minute to stop and think how their words are going to be perceived and taken by four million Florida Democrats before they say them. You (Texan for Gore) say, for example, that he didn't mean the votes or election was "fabricated", just that Hillary was trying to fabricate the election into meaning something, when really there are no delegates. But then why not just leave it at she's trying to spin it, I mean, Kerry should have picked his words carefully. And why did Donna Brazile write an Op-Ed piece a while back entitled "Why We Stood Up to Florida", and the entire tenor of the piece sounded like an attack on Florida Democrats, not on the state legislature of Tallahassee.

I don't know, maybe you have to actually be a Floridian and a Democrat and someone who lived here in 2000 to understand how this is all hitting us, but sweet mother of pearl, I wish these people would stop "blaming the victim", so to speak, and choose their words a little more carefully. It was "fabricated" that did me in *lol*.

I'm better today. Part of it, too, was that I was at a low point after casting my ballot yesterday for someone other than Gore, but at least I felt heartened by the record Democratic turnout. So, the timing of Kerry's "smackdown", which I first heard while driving home from work on election night, via a radio station reporting it, was baaaaahd, speaking as a Florida Dem. I mean: did we NEED that, just then?

I'm feeling very Will Rogers-esque:

"I'm not a member of any organized political party. I'm a Democrat."

:lol:

Hangingchad, I agree that "fabricated" was probably not the best choice of words. I know John Kerry has said things in the past that kinda came out the wrong, though not intending any harm. I don't think he meant anything personal against Florida. He was actually responding to the Hillary campaign when they were trying to say Florida should count - when everybody understood the situation from the beginning.

But yeah, maybe he could have selected his words a little better. :unsure:

The more I think about it, the more I realize I was TOTALLY over the top yesterday. Over-reaction ALERT! I just pray, like I said, that the paper doesn't print my letter to the editor because, *shudder*, well, I don't want to think about how INSANE I sounded in it *LOL*! The moral of that story is: never press the "send", "reply", "post", etc., button when you are upset. Never. Wait until you calm waaaaaaay down and then see if you still feel like pressing it!

Insane as this may sound and probably is, I think I overreacted due to a combination of a delayed mega-reaction to 2000 and to the fact that Gore is definitely not running on the Democratic ticket this year, the latter point having just been driven home as I cast my ballot yesterday morning. Something about Kerry's TIMING was just...not good. His remarks didn't "play in Peoria", so to speak.

Still, I was way out there in Over Reaction Land.

See, this is why I love Gore, among many, many other reasons: he is always the picture of diplomacy and class when he reacts to things, even when he has every right to be upset. Why can't we all be like that?

Anyway...Kerry shouldn't be allowed to speak during Democratic campaigns *lol*, but he is a good guy. I know that. As for Obama, I may have spazzed out just a tiny tad over the top there, too, yesterday. I still feel he is all slogans and no substance, but hopefully I'll be proven wrong.

Meanwhile, here is one for the "it's laugh or cry" file:

Today as I drove back to the office from my lunch break, and I was sitting there in the car thinking that I had FINALLY calmed down, this came over the radio airwaves:

"Ralph Nader is forming an 'exploratory committee' to look into running for president as an independent."

:o

Serenity now!

:lol:

About Nader - yeah, I heard that too. There was a thread on the main menu started about him yesterday and I definitely added my two cents on that topic. :spikey:

:santa: :elvis: :puffgrl:



I'm not even going to suggest calming down

hchad,
Living in Obamaland and having had voting for him (he's my senator), we all expected this so sorry if I was crass.

The way the Billery machine has been acting has all of us Dems on edge. It is heartbreaking. A slamdunk election has suddenly gone up for grabs.

That and Obama has better plans in every aspect...

"All slogans and no substance" is a smear. Read up on it. Lots of others agree, the plans are better.

Well, I will continue to read up on both of their positions and, on the rare occasions that the broadcast networks actually broadcast a debate (again, I don't have cable), I will watch the debates. It seems her position on health care, for example, would provide more universal coverage than his would.

But I will definitely continue to educate myself on where they stand and what their specific proposals are on various important issues.

I wish the news media would cover the actual SUBSTANCE of debates, by the way, when reporting on what happened, instead of saying "Oh, they really went at each other" or "Oh, they really made nice". Don't much care: what were their comments about the ISSUES?!"

Luckily, in this internet era, one can go directly to the candidates' sites and read up on specifics, if they give any (and if they don't, that is telling, too). Also, there are sites like votesmart that show you the voting record of elected officials.

So, you can educate yourself to a fare-thee-well if ya try.

So far, Clinton seems more substance-laden to me and Obama seems more flowery language, but I am eagerly awaiting him dazzling me somehow. I am open to dazzlement!

CNN has run the debates forever and the transcripts are online too. I have watched the last debate 6 times on replays! How anyone can say Billary's healthcare plan is better is incredulous. Read what the respected folks have said. Read what former CLINTON advisors have said. It is clear that this has turned into a beauty contest where actual policy is being ignored for sex/race based reasons. That's my opinion.

Luckily, both Dems are light-years ahead of any Rep and either will get my vote in November.

Well, guys, I was at my mom's yesterday and I forced the poor woman to watch hour upon hour of CSPAN instead of the Superbowl pregame festivities that any normal, red-blooded American would have chosen to watch. Why would you care about the future leader of our country when you could be hearing the point spread for the Big Game? But I'm so starved for any actual substantive coverage of the candidates that I figured, here it is the Sunday before Super Tuesday, surely I will have a chance on CSPAN of seeing something REAL. Gotta go for it.

And in so doing, I came to a horrifying realization: I'm not as idealistic as I once was. Because, at this point, I theoretically should be a passionate Obama supporter, yet...I'm...not.

Watching the Obama rally in LA, Oprah's speech REALLY moved me and then Michelle Obama had me in tears. TEARS, mind you. I'm not typically a cryer. I mean, I wasn't until primary day in Florida and somehow I've been a wreck since then. Anyway, every word they said at that rally hit home, every chord they struck was by playing my heartstrings and soulstrings and mindstrings. I mean, Obama is the first presidential candidate ever who is from my EXACT subset of the Baby Boom generation, i.e., the tail end of same. Not the front end, not the bell curve, but the tail end. He was born one month ahead of me. The themes he and his campaign intone are the themes that I hold dearest: what unites us is greater than what divides us, we need to get past labels, yada yada YADA. I felt like I was watching the first early green spring shoots of the truly post-Reagan era. Reaganism started the ugly, nasty, divisive brand of patriotism I so loathe, and it came to its ugly head with Rove, Cheney, and shrub. I feel like the Obama movement is a much-needed and refreshing reaction to that. It's about d*mn time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I also felt like I was watching the actual fruition of the dreams of the 1960's. And THAT was profoundly thrilling, moving and cool.

But, all that said, I STILL don't see "Where's the beef" with Obama. When you go to his site, there are not many specifics under the "Issues" section, and the specifics I do see don't go nearly, nearly, nearly far enough on global warming, health care, etc. However, I could actually say the same thing about Hillary, so why did I vote for her over him? I'm beginning to wonder! All I know for sure is, it should have been "Al Gore" that I voted for.

Weep though I did at Michelle Obama's AMAZING speech, I just can't seem to leap in there and "feel" Obama. Why isn't SHE (Michelle Obama) running, btw?! She is AWESOME! Who knew?! OMG, she is truly GREAT, people! She really had me fired up, especially when she started in about how single people in this country can't afford to have a child, well, that is when I lost it, as I've been looking intensively into adopting a child for several years and came to the dream-crushing realization in 2007 that I cannot do it. Not in this "family values" conservative-controlled country. Can't afford day care, can't afford health care, no matter how I slice it, I can't do it. And it breaks my heart. And I wanted to adopt a child from the public system, too. They give you a LOT of help, in terms of paying for the child's health care, for instance. But I still wouldn't be able to afford day care/child care. I make too much to qualify for any help, but WAY, way, way, way, way, way too little to actually afford to pay over $200.00 per WEEK for child care. Stop the madness! So, when Michelle started on and on about how when you do everything you are asked to do in our country, you go to school, you get an education, you play by the rules, you work hard, and you STILL can't make it, you can't afford healthcare, you can't afford childcare, WELL, I was a goner. I lost it at "childcare". Tears a'flowin'! And she just went on and on, like she saw me through the screen and knew me and was talking specifically to me. How did she know? Uncanny. Like she could see how hard I work and yet I get NOWHERE. I can't afford "the American Dream", even just the modest part where you have a child. I mean, that's not even the American Dream, that's just the universal human dream. I do everything I'm supposed to do, and I still can't afford to raise a child. She was speaking DIRECTLY to that, it seemed to me. Eerie.

But is it going to make me passionate about voting for her husband? I wish I felt "it", but I don't. WHAT, specifically, is he going to do about childcare costs, for example? We have to dig out of this financial hole caused by Halliburton's war for oil, WHAT is he going to do to help single parents, EXACTLY?

I think my prob is, I'm so cynical at this point that I'm afraid to believe anything anyone says. And I used to be SO idealistic! I just know if I were 20, I would have my "Change we can believe in!" Obama placard and I would be at that rally shouting my lungs out. I guess my crazy political science teacher in college was right when he said "Never trust anyone over 30." I argued with him passionately in 1980 that that was an ageist 'tude and that when **I** became 30, **I** would still be idealistic and pacifistic and every bit as cool as I was right at that moment, I would remain idealistic forever! Well, here I am 46, and I'm like: show me the money, Barack. Where's the beef. Give me specifics. I just can't buy what he is selling, no matter how much I want to.

And I find that very sad. I wish I could just pick up a placard and cheer my heart out like the students at UCLA or wherever the rally was. But, I'm over 30, I guess is the problem.

Too pooped to party. Too jaded to hope based on flowery speeches. Wow, that makes me sad to say about myself.

HC, this is the threat I am talking about. Now granted, I haven't read back thru all of it so I don't know if you deleted some of the things you said earlier. But I am not the one throwing the insults arounds here.